Oh honey, I don't have any advice but I couldn't read and not post a
I will send you a PM
I will send you a PM
|I'm afraid the children will blame me for everything...|
|Edited to add--what should I say to my husband about what my dd said? My dd asked me to not tell her daddy because he would get mad at her.
Originally Posted by Thao
As for the issue of him not accepting that he is an abuser... I have to say I am not a huge fan of that word. I know and you know that he is emotionally abusing you... but when you use that word, it conjures up in his mind the picture of some horrible monster and he rejects it because he doesn't think he is a monster. Especially if he has mental issues, he simply won't see it. In my opinion, the word itself can become a barrier to the abuser recognizing his problem because it is sooooooo emotionally and socially charged. I would recommend that, when you talk to him, you simply describe the behavior you will no longer accept rather than using the word "abuse". For example: "I need you to treat me with respect even when you are angry at me. That means, no name calling, threats, etc etc." Now, if he is denying that he calls you names etc when you know that he did, the only thing left is to say that you will no longer live with it and move out.
Originally Posted by Fuamami
This is great advice. I've never been in your situation, but with many issues in my own relationship it's been extremely productive to focus on what I will do, what I am willing to tolerate, and what I will not tolerate. It has helped me get out of the habit of not trying to change my husband or his behavior.
Originally Posted by snuffles
He confided in me tonight and told me that he is just not happy. Very, very unhappy. Doesn't think he will ever be happy. His main frustration is our five children. He said he can't stand being around them anymore. He even told me he has been tempted to start a fight w/ me because then I will leave and he can be alone. He told me that he really is just happier when he's alone and can do his own thing. This is very depressing. I am in nursing school and he has been homeschooling our children and I am supposed to go back to school in a couple of weeks. We homeschool b/c we live in a very bad school district. I am goign to school because we are broke, all the time. He has never been happy about me going to school but it is something I've fought for and proud of.