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My sweetest DH is a student, and he will be for quite a while longer. We're expecting #1 and just couldn't be happier (except maybe if we won the lottery! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">) One of my biggest struggles right now is how to be emotionally supportive when things get tough for DH. On an almost daily basis, he says, "I wish I were smarter," "Everyone else is better than I am," "I don't think I'm cut out for this," "I'm going to fail at my job," and things of the like. I understand that these are very real fears and feelings, and have been trying to urge that he get counseling (heaven knows it helped me get through some of the same feelings!).<br><br>
But my question is this: what kinds of things can <i>I</i> say and do that support DH? So far I try really hard to verbally model a change of thought process ("Stop saying that you're stupid, you're smart, you're working really hard, Just because your homework is hard doesn't mean you're going to fail at your future profession, You're good at lots of things," etc.). I try to build him up whenever I can. We're considering having him prolong his program so he doesn't have to take as many classes at once. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, though, especially when nothing I say or do seems to change the situation in the slightest!!<br><br>
I'm sure this has lots of parallels to supporting children in school and spouses (or selves!) struggling with career change decisions. Anyone have some pointers that might relieve some stress around here?
 

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OMG are you married to my husband? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Seriously, i can echo your concerns and I have heard all of your dh's concerns on a very frequent basis.<br><br>
We are further down the road than you are in this journey-<br>
dh is now in nursing school full time working toward a BSN. He has 2 more years to go and he constantly worries that about his schooling and even more about our future after he graduates.<br><br>
Honestly, for us, he needs me to maintain a positive outlook and keep reassuring him. I have to help keep track of assignments that are due and help him keep things in focus (prioritize, etc.) But more than that- he needed professional help. Once he found a therapist that he clicked with - he has been able to keep all of those worries "in check" if that makes any sense.<br><br>
Good luck in your journey- it is well worth it- but can be a little crazy along the way. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
 

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Phew, I'm so glad I'm not the only one! We've talked more about getting professional help, and he said that if I made the appointment, he would go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy"> So after we get through our move, I'll be hunting down ideas for good therapists.<br><br>
Thank you so much for your insight. Sometimes it's hard to feel like you're doing the right thing when the situation just doesn't seem to change!
 
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