Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,813 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I can honestly say I don't have one and that's not good! My moms to busy with her BF (getting married next week) to help me, I just dumped my one and only best friend due to some serious issues, the guy I was seeing (single father raising 7 yr old) has been out of town a lot lately working so I cant send dd over there to play for a hour to get as break. I haven't really met any moms locally that I've clicked with so I kinda feel SOL. The last few days have been really though and I really really needed a break and there was no one to help me. What do you do when you get to the breaking point and there is no one around to help? In the last year I think I have gotten 1 - 2 hour break from dd (begged mom to watch her so I could see Shrek 2) and honestly I need that every week! I think I've been sucking as a mom lately because I'm feeling so burned out and stressed. I've tried finding a babysitter but there hard to find and want a ransom, I mean I paid a maid almost that amount! I do get time away from dd at work and stuff but I need ME time. Time where I can relax, soak in the tub, read, be lazy, what ever as long as its for ME.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,130 Posts
I hear you. I had the flu a few days ago. I was too weak to pick up my 4 month old cause she felt like led. I'm pretty much on my own too. I don't think I've had 2 hours to myself since she was born. I'm blessed cause she's pretty content and a really good baby. I've just learned to keep going. I've longed for a bath for so long so now I just take baths with her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> About you not being a good Mother, I've learned that guilt is one of the biggest hazards to being a Mum. It's bad for the Soul. You are doing the best that you can with what you've got so be gentle on yourself. Stay strong. I know I'm going to come out of this a rock and look back and be grateful for the time I've had alone with my daughter.<br>
Hope that helps.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,238 Posts
I hear you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I get alone time for school, that's about it (and the stray doc/dentist appointment). Lately I've been taking an extra 15 minutes before I go home. Can you take the long way home from work? Relax in the car for a while? Stop for coffee or tea?<br><br>
Another possibility, although financially I'm not sure if it's something you would want. I joined a gym a while back that had a babysitting room with monitors so you could see what was up in there. I used to sometimes leave dd in there, and use the workout time. If I didn't feel like working out, sometimes I would read a book on the stationary bike without really doing a lot of peddling. It was 18/month. I don't belong anymore, because I no longer have the time, but it was heaven when I did it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,813 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
lol, you just reminded me of something, I would actually look forward to major dental work (tooth pulls, root canels ect) because it meant I got a break! How bad is that! Money is going to be pretty tight around here the next few months but I think I'm going to find a way to hire someone to come in to clean 1-2 hours a week because that's what I seem to spend all my free time doing and it turns dd into a little monster because I'm not spending much quality time with her. All my free time is literally spent cleaning! I've had a few hours here because she fell asleep at 6pm and although I'm going to regret letting her sleep so long I enjoyed a nice long hot shower by myself and even got to do a little reading<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
397 Posts
That is how I get my me time too...after the kids are asleep. Though lately I have been too tired and falling asleep with them (part of that is that we are on summer hours so they are staying up later too).<br><br>
I trade babysitting with my sil but lately it seems like they want to drop thier kids off at my place 3 or 4 times for every one that I ask them to watch my kids and it is getting to be too much.<br><br>
I am working on setting up a single parent's group in my area, kind of like a play group, but not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> and one of the things I am really hoping ti incorporate into that is a babysitting co-op, so for every x # of hours you watch someone's kid or are willing to you will have that many hours available to you. We will see how it goes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,157 Posts
I have to find little pockets of time throughout the day and after they go to bed. I too have been tired many nights & fall asleep with them, but there are becoming more nights when I get at least an hour or so alone. It is easier for me now because my 2 now play together and I know I can have a bath while they entertain each other. It was a lot more difficult the first 1.5 years after my youngest was born.<br><br>
Time to yourself is important. When I really need something, I ask for the universe to provide it. You could ask for a great babysitting opportunity to come your way and then be open to all possibilities.<br><br>
Hang in there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,238 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Satori</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">lol, you just reminded me of something, I would actually look forward to major dental work (tooth pulls, root canels ect) because it meant I got a break! How bad is that!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Not bad! Very believable! I just had 2 gum surgeries performed, and I actually enjoyed them and looked forward to them because I could just relax in a chair for an hour and a half! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
149 Posts
I foolishly thought when I moved back home I would have help raising my three kiddos. One of my resentments towards their father was his inability to wake up, and contribute to the parenting! Going to work is not all that is required when you are rasing three children. KWIM? Anyhow, I have my children 24-7 We have just recently been through some HUGE transitions, and I thought it would be best to have family meetings where we plan activities, meals, and just get it all out on the table<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Now we look forward to certian days that we have planned for KiD StUfF, and days where they expect I have to pay bills, or do MOM stuff. I also found all of the local playgroups (mama networks<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">), and started my 3 year old in an optional preschool like program. We only went for a few weeks before summer, but it gives her an idea of what next year will be like. I know preschool is not necessary, but she really loves going, and the cool thing is they enjoy me coming along even with my 1 year old! We spent quality time there instead of a home BOOOORING! I really am probally not much help because our circumstances are different, but I hope I helped a bit. ~The first years pass so quickly~ Mother Nature must know even us mama's who cherish our babes first years have limits to how selfless we can be<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top