[rockergirrl]

my ds is 2 1/2. He attends a daycare center. He has been there since he was very young and has always done well there. The past couple of weeks he has been going through a wave of what we considered normal 2 1/2 year old ups and downs at home. His teacher mentioned to us one day that he started being pushy with his friends and not showing any empathy about it. We were told that this is not normal and that the teacher has not seen or learned about children at this age not showing any empathy. This news made us very upset. She seemed very concerned. I did not have to look far to find quite the opposite info on young children showing empathy or the lack there of. I felt like she did not really have the correct info and made us feel like there was something really wrong with him because of this.

am I right to think that children at this age don't always show empathy for their actions?

 

[allgirls]

I think you are right and the teacher is wrong...they start to develop it very young but it's not fully developed at 2.5 years old...

and just because he doesn't show empathy doesn't mean he doesn't have any...he may just not care at that moment...

I would print the research you found and take it to her...

 

[captain optimism]

What does she mean by empathy? Ability to share? It's a developmental thing that children gradually learn to share and gradually learn that other people have feelings, around this age (2.5)--as you read, I'm sure. It varies from child to child how quickly they get to this stage.

Is she seeing something more atypical or abnormal, like an inability to read facial expressions or something like that? Or is the issue a change in his usual behavior? You need to get the teacher to be more specific. Sometimes someone who is a fine early childhood teacher isn't the best communicator in the world with adults.

 

[kamilla626]

The understanding that others have feelings starts in toddlerhood, but I've read that it isn't "complete" until age 5-7. That's when children should be able to consistently predict how someone else might feel as a result of their actions.

Expecting that level of cognitive behavior for a 2 or 3 year old is just rididulous!