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After my birth experience on Sunday, I was floating high, but of course I had to come down from that. For the last few days I've been kind of down in the dumps and got the weepiness that I got with my first pregnancy, but it was worse this time because I know this is my last and I'm closing the chapter on my pregnancy and birth part of my life. I know nature might have other ideas, but I'll be 37 in December and I realize just how fast my life has gone by.

The good thing is that I just want to do nothing but sit and hold my newborn daughter and look at her. Unfortunately my 4 year old doesn't think that is so great. Actually, she's been pretty good and comes over and kisses and pets Jessie, but she did say "I wish we didn't have a baby" and "people shouldn't have baby sisters" when it turned out that Daddy had to put her to bed and not me.

For some reason on Tuesday night the baby was sleeping well, but I was awake for two hours. Sheesh! I kept thinking that I wished I had a photo of me on my last day being pregnant and I started obsessing over that. I meant to take one, but my water broke early in the morning and things went fairly quickly. My husband took one of my laboring, but I wanted him to take video and I didn't understand why he was trying to take still shots. Now I wish he had taken more.
Anyway, I'm fixating on things like that and thinking all those things I remember thinking with my first about how much I love this little girl but I won't be around to take care of her for her whole life and it doesn't matter because she will grow up and go away anyway, blah blah blah. You know, all those cheery thoughts...anyway, I guess it is just hormones but also getting past the whole pregnancy and birth experience being over.

I was also feeling run down and my stitches have been hurting but today I was feeling better both physically and mentally. I have more color in my face now, and I passed a large blood clot today; my bleeding seemed to slow down after that. Today I was writing out all the details of my birth story and was feeling much more upbeat. My husband will be going back to work on Monday and my nephew is leaving on Wednesday, so it will just be the three of us, but I'll be returning to my routine--although I'll be sure to take it easy for awhile.

I can still remember the feeling of the big belly, the baby moving and the feeling of her back against my front that I could feel with my hands, and her hiccups that made my tummy jump. I want to remember those feelings and how it feels to hold this little bundle right now. Pretty soon she will be walking and talking and breaking away from me but right now she is mine completely and needs me for everything. I know that will change and I will be happy that it is as the various stages occur, but I still want to remember this special time.
 

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Amy, just wanted to say a big congrats! Also, I can't imagine what it must be to know it's your last. This is probably our last, but not definitely, definitely. I keep thinking about that...this is the last time.....

And yes, knowing how fast it will go, and faster w/each child. Oh, and the post-preg. hormones.
Well, enjoy your new one.
 

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This is my last one as well, and I keep looking in the mirror at my belly and thinking how darn LOVELY it is...... I must take more pictures.!

I know I'm going to miss the little live wire in my belly, I did both times before as well, I need to stop and enjoy these last few weeks....... I'm going to stop work soon, then I can really focus on all the lovely feelings, and well the not so lovely ones as well.....

Congrats Amy on such a lovely BIG baby - I'm hoping for at least 9 pounds..... (my son was 8.7, two weeks early) so 9 shouldn't be too much of a push!
 
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