[3 little birds]

Hello! I just wanted to share my experience of talking to friends about circ.

A friend of mine was pregnant and knew she was having a boy. I planned to mail her some circ info before the birth-then low and behold her husband is calling me from the hospital to say that the baby is here early!

Yikes! I had never mentioned the circ issue to them so I wasn't sure what to do. The new mom had a really hard delivery (emergency reconstructive surgery was necessary due to the use of vacuum). Mom almost died from loss of blood. Needless to say, she was on heavy meds and a bit out of it.

I called another friend who I had talked to about circ (her husband was for it, she wasn't after she read the info, baby left intact, husband is now really happy about it) and asked her what I should do. I was really nervous about butting into someone else's business, but didn't want to not do anything if the parents didn't know the consequences of circ.

My friend told me to get on the phone and call back the new dad. I was soooo nervous. I called and asked him if they had made a circ decision, if they had had a chance to research the subject. He said that yes they had. I said okay, I just wanted to make sure because it is something I feel strongly about and if it was okay with him, could I send him some info to read about it. He said ok.

Then I printed some good info up and FedExed it to him overnight.

A few days later he called and thanked me. He said that they had asked his family and friends and everyone had told him circ'ing was the clean thing to do. After reading the info they decided not to circ and now he was telling me why it was not a good idea (too funny).

Anyway, it was totally worth sticking my neck out and risking angry friends and now I know a new intactivist.

 

[LavenderMae]

That's really great!!!! Good for you for saying something even though I image it was uncomfortable!

 

[3 little birds]

I was attacked by a nursling before I could add that I would love to hear what others have experienced in talking to prospective parents.

 

[LianneM]

That is awesome - good for you!

I wish I could say I've been as influential.

I did get everyone to research it but so far, the three couples who I am friends with and talked to about it all decided to circ.

It makes me so sick. 2 of the babies are born and thank goodness they are both "ok" but the third one isn't born yet. Every time I talked to the mother she makes comments about how SHE respects people and their decisions, and I KNOW it's a dig at me b/c she knows how I feel about circing. I could cry thinking about her poor baby.

I really don't care whether I have a boy or girl, but the reason I would hope for a boy is so that I would have an easy way to talk about circ with others, and first-hand knowledge (besides just being the wife of an intact man) about not circing my son.

 

[LavenderMae]

A woman I used to work with decided not to circ her son after I was talking to her about how it was unnecessary, painful etc.. (this was before she was even preg). I convinced a guy I worked with that no matter how a parent feels about foreskin (he thought it was gross

) it should be left up to the penis owner wether or not he wants his foreskin, after much discussion he admitted I was right. I have talked to a couple of my dh's friends about it (males) one says he wouldn't and another says he'd leave it up to the mother (that's a first). I have brought it up to my younger cousin (girl/20yrs old) and hopefully before she decides to have a baby I can talk to her more. I gave another woman I used to work with cir info, I don't know if she circed her son or not. I have shopped where she works a few time since he was born but she didn't say and I felt weird bringing it up. I have also talked about it with two of my dh's girl friends one agreed and I assume she won't circ any sons she might have , the other one I'm still working on.
I wish more people would ask me about it because I'm super shy and it's hard for me to bring things up to people. I know anyone who has been to my house knows my ds is intact because he is almost always nude. :LOL