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end of my rope. Time for 4 yr old to sleep alone

565 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  mamaduck
I'm at the end of my rope with my 4 year old. My biggest issue is his behavior right now, but I'm taking it out on his sleep habits. I'm just so tired of him never doing anything that I ask him to do without a huge battle. He is an embarrasement when we go anywhere. If I ask him not to touch something, he does anyway. He has a lot of anger, and is always screaming and stomping his feet, etc..... and he is a "cry-baby." He always cries a lot for no reason (bumps his little finger slightly.)
Okay, here is the sleep situation. He is now sleeping in his own bed (his choice), but Daddy has to sleep with him. Daddy said he doesn't want to sleep with him anymore, but Daddy is also unwilling to get him to sleep alone, because Daddy doesn't want to do anything that takes any effort. And getting DS to sleep alone is going to take a lot of effort. I decided that tonight is the night we will start. The deal is that Daddy would lay with him until he fell asleep, and then if he woke up, he would have to go back to sleep alone. I told Daddy that if he wakes up and starts crying/screaming (which he will) then he is to go in there and tell him to go back to sleep and that Daddy will be sleeping in his bed. He is to take him back to bed if he gets out of bed, and to keep doing this again and again, even if it takes all night.
I can't think of anything else that will work. We tried a couple of weeks ago, to just get him through the night without waking up and screaming/crying histerically. He made it the 3 nights, and got his stuffed animal that he wanted, but unfortunatly Daddy made it easy on him, and stayed in bed with him all night and in the morning. So the 4th night, when he woke up and Daddy wasn't there, he cried and screamed as usual.
As far as the discipline, I'm ready to throw all of my parenting books out the window and just start beating him

I'm also ready to throw my husband out the window with them. He isn't interested in how our children turn out. He just want to do whatever is easiest for him (no conflict.)
I'm thinking about taking DS to a counselor. Or maybe I should just take a long vacation by myself. Maybe I could think clearer if I got away. But DS would be a really big spoiled brat by the time I got home if I left him with DH. In fact, DH is so irresponsible with the kids, they would both probably end up dead if he was in charge full time. Sorry to be so angry and vent like this, but I just had to explode, and I thought I would do it here.
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Its really hard to know what to respond to or what to say! You definately sound frustrated and frazzled. I can relate to that!

I don't understand what is happening exactly. Daddy refuses to sleep with him, and Daddy refuses to help him sleep alone, so what is happening instead? Is your son up crying all night? Or is Daddy "caving" and going to bed with him anyway? I think if I were you, I'd just stay out of it. It never works for me to give my husband instructions on how to do things with the kids. He doesn't want my to dictate how things are going to be. If sleeptime is Daddy's responsibility, then I would just stay out of it and let them work it out between them. So long as your child is not crying alone, that is. That crosses the line, IMO.

As far as your sons behaviors, that sounds really really tough. I don't dare give advice without knowing something about your discipline style. But I think it would be great if you posted in the gentle discipline forum. I think you'd get some helpful responses.
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