Enrolling in childcare/preschool and bawling my eyes out...

Hey IOF, I have just started Pre-school with my Benjamin, and I thought I was doing okay, despite the fact tthat he got bit on his first day, and that he bawled his eyes out every time I brought him...but this Tuesday I had a total meltdown.

I think it really sunk in how sad I am that we can no longer afford to leave him at home with his daddy...I just keep thinking how young he is and how much I wish I could leave him at home...

BUT I try, and dh tries to cheer myself up by reminding myself that A) he does spend WAY more time at home than in the pre-school, B) it's a FABULOUS pre-school touted all over town, and in three months he starts the bi-lingual classes so it won't be all in Spanish, and C) most mothers in this day and age have to send their kids to pre school five days a week 8 hours day from the age two months on and they only get 2 weeks of vacation of year, instead of the nearly ten weeks a year we get as teachers here.

It's only one full day and two mornings, but everytime the teachers take my sad little peanut out of my arms and whisk him off to the play room my heart breaks into a thousand pieces and I want to hit something.

The good news is they give us a daily report of his activities and it sounds like a lot of fun, they stack balls, and bowl, and sing and dance, and romp in the garden and just have a blast, and everyday we go to pick him up he is just having a great time in the center play area with his new friends...maybe I am just a little jealous that his dad and I are no longer his best friends.

Big hugs! It's hard, but from what they tell me it gets easier!

I won't be their best friend anymore??

They will be in preschool 2 days a week, with a family friend 2 half days, and spend 1 full day and 1 half day with daddy, and we'll have 1 half day for the 4 of us.

The family friend has 2 girls the same ages as the boys and they adore each other! M and S are the sweetest little girls and they just do some amazing things. I mean, A will take all 4 kids to the zoo, playground, grocery shopping, and even to the park! (I can't handle both boys alone! )The boys just love her and beg to play at her house. I mean, they'll wake up on a saturday and want me to go to work so they can go play!

Then I start to think that next fall we won't have those half days with Tracy anymore. He'll be in school 5 full days a week. ACK!! Life is changing way too fast. I used to think I couldn't wait for them to get older but now I'm saddedned by them growing up. Then my mind flash forwards to college and their own children, trips without mom and dad.....

Why didn't someone tell me this was really really hard??

Quote:
I asked my mom that very question when she was visiting me last month...she said: "If I had told you you never would have given me grand babies!"

Oh I see how it is!

:

Sounds like you'll still have lots of time with the kids...

My dad says the sadness shifts to a stronger sensation of pride as they move on into adulthood, it's always sad, he says, because it means you are getting older, and they need you less and less, but that it feels really good, too, because you made a happy person.

I just want him to be my permanent teddy bear!

This must be why people have loads and loads of babies.