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I may be taking a job, its a long story, but basically dh is chronically ill, we are on public assistance, I got offered a decent job. I have been a sahm mom for 3 years. This is really, really hard for me. My heart breaks just thinking about leaving my kids ds(4) and dd (20 mo). I know they will be well cared for (dh will become sahd) but its seems so hard to focus on a career, I've really enjoyed my time being totally wrapped up in my kids. I don't want this time to end. I'm scared
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I feel like my identity is changing...
 

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I am always dreading this day as well. we barely make ends meet, and while DH has a good job with good benefits right now, if his company ever loses their contract w/ the state, we will be in trouble. And I will have to work.

I guess the best thing to do would be try to focus on the positives: the kids will hopefully form an even stronger bond with their dad, you might make some new friends who have kids their age, they might appreciate the time they do have with you even more, etc. My heart would be broken as well but you are doing the right and responsible thing to keep your family secure.
 

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Oh, that's so tough. I'm sorry Mama. Change can be really hard, I hope you love your new job and make some good friends. My two youngest are the exact same age as yours.
 

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You have NOTHING to feel guilty about! You are doing the right thing for your family, you should be proud of yourself!
 

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you are a wonderful mommy because you ARE caring for your family: don't let anyone ever let you think/feel differently. Your children will come to understand what you are doing is for them, if not now, when they are older.

I worked when my first was a baby. It was very hard; but you will cherrish the 3 years you've had as SAHM even more and grow as a person with the challenge. Working was difficult, but it was best for us at the time and my son was well cared for... Give yourself some time to adjust and don't be too hard on yourself.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Qerratsmom View Post
I'm crying reading your posts. Thank you so much. I feel so guilty about not being a sahm anymore even though I know I have to do this for the welfare of my family.
Please, do not feel guilty. You *ARE* taking care of your family, just in a new way.

I'm sorry you are so upset. Don't be scared, mama.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetbaby3 View Post
Please, do not feel guilty. You *ARE* taking care of your family, just in a new way.

I'm sorry you are so upset. Don't be scared, mama.


:

Shay
 

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I went back to work part-time after DS1 was born. We just couldn't make ends meet without an extra income, so I took a good job with an IT firm where I did tech support in the evenings and weekends. I was still home during the day, but missed putting DS to bed and spending weekends doing family things. At first I felt guilty, but then realized that the guilt was unhealthy. I was doing what I needed to do, just like you! So instead I focused more on the grief I was experiencing because I had lost something that was precious to me: family time.

Hang in there, mama. You're doing the best thing you can for your family right now. And hey, they still have a loving parent at home which is so great! Their routines aren't likely to be disrupted as much, and you're going to take control of the financial wheel so you can all sleep a bit better at night. You rock
 
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