[dharmama]

Okay....not exactly sure how to handle this.

I teach prenatal yoga at a studio near my house. Recently a new student started coming. She's pregnant with her fourth and is a good friend of the owner of the studio (who I don't know all that well).

Most of the other mamas in my class are pregnant with their first. I have talked to each of them individually and they have all expressed a desire for natural child birth.

So lately each week after class this new student sort of corners one of the other students and goes on and on about how wonderful epidurals are and how she wouldn't do it any other way....and how UNBEARABLE the pain is...you'll see.....yadda...yadda....yadda.

Should I say something? Is it any of my business?

~Erin

 

[sadean]

I think it is your business, because it is happening in and during your class. I would pull her aside and tell her that while you appreciate that she has an opinion on the subject, that your class is not the appropriate place for expressing her personal opinion, which basically is contrary to the spirit of your class. She is of course welcome to have her discussion with people outside of class, but during the class everyone needs to stay focused on the tasks/lessons at hand....yada yada yada.

You might even consider having the discussion openly in one of your classes, which would give you the opportunity to discuss it and get YOUR "expert opinion" on the subject out there for everyone to hear, so there is not wondering on your students parts what your position is on the subject.

 

[weesej]

I would also say to speak to her about it not being the right group/time to talk about it with. Many of the moms are probably taking your class in preperation for a natural birth and having someone be discouraging before or after their focusing time could be detrimental.

 

[Dodo]

That's a tough one.

I'm not sure that an interest in prenatal yoga translates into a desire for a drug-free birth. When I was reunited with my prenatal buddies in mom-and-baby-yoga, I learned that almost everyone else had willingly had an epidural.

I also remember a mother of three, soon-to-be four, scaring us first-timers, but honestly, I was a little naive and thought that I would somehow be spared a painful labour. Her comments didn't affect me.

Does your flyer advertise the class as preparation for natural childbirth?

 

[mamaroni]

I agree with dodo--that's a tough one! But i definitely think it's your business if you want to say something. Worst case, she'll be offended enough to not come back to class! (or maybe that wouldn't be worse case LOL).

Please let us know how you handle/resolve this. I'm very interested. I work out and do yoga a lot, and find it very interesting to hear all the opinions from other students. I am not shy about my opinions with them.

 

[Jster]

Hmmm, well, in the interest of being neutral, you could just outline the risks and benefits. Since women are rarely told of the risks of epidurals, and this woman clearly ignores them, just having that information might help them all be more informed. Some of the risks are:

10% chance that pain relief is incomplete or non-existent (but all the same problems and risks of epidurals continue)
increased chance of delay in labor
increased chance of fetal distress
increased chance of maternal fever, which can lead to a complete septic work-up on infant including spinal tap and extended hospital stay
increased chance of instrumental or surgical delivery

also, since women with epidurals can't usually (and certainly shouldn't be allowed to!) get them before 4 or 5 centimeters, most likely a mother can prepare herself to minimize the pain through good support, developing a ritual, etc. in that early part and finds she's able to contine without the epidural, part of why doulas work their magic

But you would be taking up class time, and it might be more helpful to do it outside of class or just talk to this woman and discourage her from influencing first time mom's (or just talk to the other women and encourage them in their birthing choices).

Definitely let us know what you decide and how it goes, it does sound like a tough choice!!

 

[dharmama]

Thanks for your replies....

The more I think about it, my concern is less about her emphasis on epidurals, and more about her approach (i.e. scare tactics).

My class is not specifically designed to prepare for natural childbirth...it is designed to help mamas connect with their babies, relieve some of the discomforts of pregnancy, prepare physically, mentally and spiritually for childbirth and parenting....AND while it's not on my flyer....it's definitely designed to encourage and empower each woman to make the best choice for herself and her baby for her labor and birth.

I wouldn't have a concern about one mom saying to another mom....So are you planning a natural childbirth? I thought that's what I wanted but when I got there...I decided I really needed some help. It worked out well for me....or something like that. It's the "I've been there...I know better...you don't know...epidurals are the only way" attitude that doesn't feel good to me.

I think this week I might talk a little bit about birth plans.....and then I can lead into a short conversation about respecting each other's decisions and the right to choose what feels best for you. (Basically what I do with my doula clients...these are the facts as I understand them....but I'm here to support YOU and YOUR choices.)

Quote:

I'm not sure that an interest in prenatal yoga translates into a desire for a drug-free birth.

Good point. I would not want to send out a message that it's only okay to come to class if you are intending a drug-free birth.

Thanks you guys. I will proceed with caution and keep you posted!

~E

 

[ladylee]

I think you're handling it well.