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I have been thinking a lot lately about how I can make things go differently this time around since I am planning a VBAC and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was I not prepared last time, no classes etc... but it was over as soon as I gave into the epidural.<br><br>
That was like saying screw it, I am just going to lay here and expect my labor to progress all on its own -- while I just lay here!<br><br>
I can't believe it took me over a year to realize this. What faulty logic!<br><br>
I know it works for some people but it didn't for me and honestly it makes perfect sense now. I think I have dealt with the disappointment of having a C-section very well. I do have good memories of the hospital, I did get to see my beautiful baby immediately and I got to hold her and nurse her an hour after she was born. My husband got to give her first bath during that hour of recovery, he was so proud and beaming. I would nurse her and then push her up and down the halls of the maternity unit in her bassinet. Everyone was so proud of us and we were thrilled to finally meet her. So, I am not angry about the C-section. I just understand more now and this time I will have a doula to help me **work** through labor and get my baby out naturally.<br><br>
I am getting more empowered every day...<br><br>
Thanks for listening!<br>
-Iris
 

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isn't it funny how empowering these realizations are? good for you mama!
 

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I had a similar epiphany myself... though I had it when I was in (induced) labor. I realized the reason why induction tends to start a cascade of interventions is that, if your own body is the one giving you oxytocin and causing contractions, you can *trust* it not to do "too much" for you to handle. But when it's a pump standing next to you... you can't trust that. It doesn't know your body. (Then I consented to an epdiural.)
 

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I did the same thing you did with my first labor - took the epi and thought all would be just swell after that! I don't know how anyone manages to avoid a c-section with an epidural, I consider that a feat in itself! Good for you for coming to your senses! Good luck with your VBAC!
 
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