[Honey693]

I had to take DD to the ER today (she's fine) and the visit was great until we saw the actual doctor. He called DD a brat! I could not believe it. And it wasn't just once, it was 3-4 times in the 5 minutes he was in the room. So I'm writing an email to teh patient relations office. Can anyone critique it for me?

To Whom It May Concern,
I took my daughter into the ER today and until we saw the doctor I was very pleased with the service that was provided. The check in staff were polite, the waiting room had a variety of materials to entertain my daughter and myself and the nurses were very caring and understanding. I especially appreciated the stuffed animal my child was given upon admittance. However, when we saw the doctor my satisfaction with the ER disappeared. We saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes total after being there almost 3 hours. I completely understand this and realize that the ER is an incredibly busy place. What I do not understand was why he never gave me his name and why he called my daughter a brat. Seeing a doctor for less than 5 minutes and having my child called a brat 3-4 times in that same span made me very upset. I would not tolerate being called names by a physician and I will not tolerate my child being called names either. Whether the doctor was joking or not (I honestly could not tell) makes no difference. Name calling is unprofessional when done to any patient regardless of age, much less a scared crying toddler. Thanks to this I will be strongly considering using the ER services provided by *other hospital in town* should the need arise again.
Thank you

 

[pauletoy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal_R I had to take DD to the ER today (she's fine) and the visit was great until we saw the actual doctor. He called DD a brat! I could not believe it. And it wasn't just once, it was 3-4 times in the 5 minutes he was in the room. So I'm writing an email to teh patient relations office. Can anyone critique it for me? To Whom It May Concern, I took my daughter into the ER today and until we saw the doctor I was very pleased with the service that was provided. The check in staff were polite, the waiting room had a variety of materials to entertain my daughter and myself and the nurses were very caring and understanding. I especially appreciated the stuffed animal my child was given upon admittance. However, when we saw the doctor my satisfaction with the ER disappeared. We saw the doctor for less than 5 minutes total after being there almost 3 hours. I completely understand this and realize that the ER is an incredibly busy place. What I do not understand was why he never gave me his name and why he called my daughter a brat. Seeing a doctor for less than 5 minutes and having my child called a brat 3-4 times in that same span made me very upset. I would not tolerate being called names by a physician and I will not tolerate my child being called names either. Whether the doctor was joking or not (I honestly could not tell) makes no difference. Name calling is unprofessional when done to any patient regardless of age, much less a scared crying toddler. Thanks to this I will be strongly considering using the ER services provided by *other hospital in town* should the need arise again. Thank you

Holy cow! I would be seeing red!!! I think your letter sounds great. The only thing I would add is that you should also send a copy to the hospital administrator. Be sure to include the date and time you were in the er so they can review their records to see which doctor was working.

I am glad your little one is ok.

 

[madskye]

That is so rude, and unacceptable.

DD had to have blood drawn in November, and she totally freaked out. Ran from the room screaming and hid under the coffee table in the waiting room and then kept screaming for another 10 minutes (felt like 20). I could tell the staff wasn't thrilled but they kept their opinions to themselves and I appreciated that.

Sorry you and your dd had to go through that.

 

[KristyDi]

Wow! I can't wrap my head around how someone could think that was ok.

What context was the name calling in? I think your letter might be stronger if you could give one specific example of a comment.

 

[Honey693]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KristyDi Wow! I can't wrap my head around how someone could think that was ok. What context was the name calling in? I think your letter might be stronger if you could give one specific example of a comment.

I can't remember all of them, but I know one was. "So you might have swallowed a watch battery? What a brat you are."

 

[Latte Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal_R I can't remember all of them, but I know one was. "So you might have swallowed a watch battery? What a brat you are."

Whaaaattttt????

What a UAV. Yes definitely give the time of day and date so they can pinpoint who it was, oh and maybe a physical description. Hey, maybe you can call the ER now and tell a smidgen of a white lie to get his name. Say something like "I was in there earlier and the Dr. was really nice and I wanted to get his name". Sneaky but too bad for him.

 

[Fuamami]

Was English his second language?

 

[Heavenly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuamami Was English his second language?

What in the world does that have to do with anything? So someone whose first language is not English isn't intelligent enough to know not to call a child a brat? That is insulting on many levels.

To the OP - I would have freaked out and told them off when I was in the room! You must have been shocked. I cannot fathom why anyone would think it is okay to talk to a child like that.

 

[98741]

I would definitely put that example in your letter. I would also find the doctor's name to include. You could just call the ER give your DD's name and ask for the name of the doc you saw, no explanation needed. I agree to CC copies to the administration and the head of the ER as well. That is astonishing and completely inappropriate, that doc needs some bed side training at the least!

 

[mommy2maya]

the drs name should be on the paperwork from discharge

 

[Honey693]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy2maya the drs name should be on the paperwork from discharge

I have no idea why I didn't think of that

 

[Fuamami]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heavenly What in the world does that have to do with anything? So someone whose first language is not English isn't intelligent enough to know not to call a child a brat? That is insulting on many levels.

I don't think so! Even in this country, brat has different connotations. I have an Indian friend who calls children brats, I thought it was kind of a British leftover. She's a very loving parent, she uses it instead of "kids".

The way the OP said he phrased it, "What a brat you are!" seemed like slightly strange syntax, and that made me think that he was either ESL or not American.

 

[kalirush]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heavenly What in the world does that have to do with anything? So someone whose first language is not English isn't intelligent enough to know not to call a child a brat? That is insulting on many levels.

Um. It's not a matter of not being intelligent, it's a matter of having a different cultural perception of name calling in general and of the word "brat" in specific. There are many cultures where mild name calling is acceptable, where it isn't here.

Not that I have any particular belief/perception that this was the case in this situation, but I did understand why the person you're yelling at asked that.

 

[KempsMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kalirush Um. It's not a matter of not being intelligent, it's a matter of having a different cultural perception of name calling in general and of the word "brat" in specific. There are many cultures where mild name calling is acceptable, where it isn't here. Not that I have any particular belief/perception that this was the case in this situation, but I did understand why the person you're yelling at asked that.

 

[Honey693]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuamami Was English his second language?

I don't think so. He had no accent and looked like my dad. I got a response back and they said my email was forwarded to the ER director and a few other people and the doctor will be talked to. I'm assuming they're just placating me, but I feel better.

 

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal_R I can't remember all of them, but I know one was. "So you might have swallowed a watch battery? What a brat you are."

That would not bother me at all. It sounds to me like a joke. Like a way to lighten up a situation with a kid who might be upset at being at the ER. Now granted I can't read the tone, but it reads to me tongue in check (and yes I do think children understand that kind of humor)

 

[Honey693]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber That would not bother me at all. It sounds to me like a joke. Like a way to lighten up a situation with a kid who might be upset at being at the ER. Now granted I can't read the tone, but it reads to me tongue in check (and yes I do think children understand that kind of humor)

See I would be pissed if the doctor had called me a brat, even joking (which I have no idea if he was, he was very brusque) so I was pretty livid he called my upset 16 month old one.

 

[KempsMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber That would not bother me at all. It sounds to me like a joke. Like a way to lighten up a situation with a kid who might be upset at being at the ER. Now granted I can't read the tone, but it reads to me tongue in check (and yes I do think children understand that kind of humor)

Your way more laid back then I! I would have been irritated with one comment, but the OP stated this was done SEVERAL times.

Plus, totally inappropriate IMO to belittle a child who is in such a vulnerable position!

 

[Fuamami]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal_R See I would be pissed if the doctor had called me a brat, even joking (which I have no idea if he was, he was very brusque) so I was pretty livid he called my upset 16 month old one.

But does a 16 mo old really know what it means? Don't they pick up more on the feeling behind the words than the words? What did you think was the feeling behind the words? Was he genuinely hostile toward your child? Or was it just a weird thing he said?

 

[Honey693]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuamami But does a 16 mo old really know what it means? Don't they pick up more on the feeling behind the words than the words? What did you think was the feeling behind the words? Was he genuinely hostile toward your child? Or was it just a weird thing he said?

I honestly couldn't tell what his tone was, which was a big part of the problem. And just b/c she doesn't know what a brat is doesn't mean name calling is ok.