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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
That is where I am at right now with my oldest. Because he is my first, I always thought he was typical. As a baby he was very high need, had extreme seperation anxiety...we couldnt leave him in the church nursery or with a sitter till he was well past 3.

When he was around 3.5 he would have RAGES...(he had them before...but I thought they were just typical tantrums) I would have to hold him tight so he didnt hurt himself or anyone else....some went on for over an hour. He would also have night terrors, and for awhile was waking up around 2 am...raging about getting a cookie or banana or something like that.

Now he is 6. He will still have rages....he is not very aware of other's personal space.....he is not socially aware...he comes across as very overwhelming to many children and adults.

I was looking at him, and then my 4yo and 2yo...who can both have their moments, but can control their emotions WAY better than my 6yo....they also are much more compliant. Ds 6 will do the opposite of what I say most of the time.

Dh doesnt want to think he is atypical....I have a hard time even thinking it too...but the other day my ds had a moment where he went into a rage...I had to hold him down....then after he was running around in circles and talking a lot. Dh held him and talked to him....ds wouldnt look at him....and he was looking everywhere but at his dads face. Dh asked him why he had so much energy...ds said "My thoughts race through my head and they dont stop and I have to keep moving" Dh hugged him, told him its ok, and walked away in tears.

Im worried he might be bipolar....I am....and there is a 1 in 3 chance of any of our dc having it. At any rate....Im concerned and I dont know what to do.
:
 

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Yes, I know exactly how that feels. I have been through a lot with my eldest. Over and over again my younger boy, who is the one with the traumatic birth and all the special needs, surprises me with how much easier life is for him than his older brother. I hold my breath sending my older boy off to kindergarten every day, even with the interventions we have going for him.

If your oldest *is* bipolar, you are very well placed to help him, better than most parents. There are lots of other things it could be though, too, aren't there?

It sounds as though dh is concerned too. Will this make it easier? I think all dads want their kids to be typical. They find it hard to admit there's anything happening. Maybe especially boys.

Does your oldest have a ped? That would be a good place to start. But don't let him/her brush you off. Insist on a referral to a psychiatrist, also consider a behavioural referral and an OT referral, and try to ask around and find out who locally has a good reputation, and for what, and why. Does your ds have a dentist you can ask, for example? Any other people he sees who would know? Is he in school, and have they said anything?

Good luck. I know this is hard. Fiona
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
He is starting K next month. I was going to homeschool....but right now I just cant do it. His 6th bday is tomorrow...we wanted to give him a year to gain more maturity before doing any sort of school. Dh did say the other day that he thinks this is more than we can handle and it might be time to see a Psych. Dr.

There are SO many things it could be. Today he had vacation church school. When I got there I spoke with my Presvytra (Priest's wife) she said that Add was having a hard time adjusting....but for me to remember that all the other kids had been in an institutional (school) setting since they were 3...and certain things that Add had to do he found to be a bit undignified...like staying in line, not talking, sitting still...etc. She said that all the teachers were treating him with love, gentleness and understanding, and for me to remember that God gave him a strong will for a reason...and for me to look at his positive side, tell him his positive attributes, and not his negatives. I then broke down and cried, and she hugged me.

Im just so worn out. There are times this child is so joyful and exuberant and golden....and others where he is screaming and trying to hit me, and so out of control that I have to hold him to help him get control.


Im feeling so inadequate to be his mother right now. I was just diagnosed bipolar 2 wks ago....had to wean my 2.5 yo because of the meds....we arent homeschooling....and we most likely wont have any more children. We always planned on having around 5dc, and homeschooling...and now Im having to re-evaluate my whole life. This is just another thing, and its so hard for me to look at it...for dh...he is adjusting too....but I want to find out how to best help my son. We do have a Ped. and he is very laid back...Im sure he would give a recommendation....but I might not need one as Behavioral Health has its own thing with my ins.
 

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Well, you sound like you have my life, but we're just further along.
DD has ADHD and other learning disabilities, but the main cause of all her behaviors (just like your ds) is from the ADHD. Everyone thinks that ADHD just means you can't sit still or focus, but it's so much more than that. If you look into what ADHD looks like you will find that there are some serious behaviors involved a lot of the time.

I would skip talking to your ped. unless you need a referral. Otherwise I would just go and get an assessment of everything. This could be done by the schools (although I prefer an independent party since the public schools will only test for things they deem to be realted to education so you don't always get the whole picture). The person you want to assess your ds is a neuropsychologist because they are going to look at the whole picture. They will do all sorts of testing (playing with him) and come up with a whole write up with recommendations. You can choose to share this info. with ds's school if you think it would be helpful. Just remember that once you give them the info. it is in his file forever....which depending on the info. could be good or bad.
A neuropsychologist will do IQ testing, ADHD/ADD testing, look for learning disabilities, any kind of mental health issues like anxiety, etc. They are like a one stop place. The waiting lists to get these assessments done can be long so I would schedule it soon. The testing is usually 3 times of a couple hours each.

Good Luck.
 

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I have many things to say about this.

To your first question, yes. I've thought for a long time it was my 2nd son who had issues, and now, my first son...well...see my post about central sleep apnea.

Do you have a good ped? If you have a good ped, they can help you think through anything it might be. Like sensory processing disorders, or hypoglycemia, or obstructive sleep apnea, or AD/HD, or yes bipolar disorder.

I'm really surprised you were unable to find drugs that were compatible with nursing. Is your neuropsych unwilling to try or the other drugs didn't work? I have several friends who were nursing who were able to find a psychiatrist who would use meds that were safe with nursing, especially for a 2.5 year old.

I don't say either of these things this to piss you off or to imply that you didn't try such a solution...but I know when I'm overwhelmed...sometimes I don't see the simplest answer first.

The other thing I wanted to say is that things do just turn completely upside down. I'm not sure there always is a reason. I want to believe that, but I'm in the middle of another upside down situation, so.... I can't always believe it.

Look for a ped, if you don't have one, who offers a medical home. You can maybe search my posts about this with links. Or you can google aap medical home, and find the link. I think it's medicalhomeinfo.org...but I'm not sure.



mv
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mamaverdi
I'm really surprised you were unable to find drugs that were compatible with nursing. Is your neuropsych unwilling to try or the other drugs didn't work? I have several friends who were nursing who were able to find a psychiatrist who would use meds that were safe with nursing, especially for a 2.5 year old. mv
I wondered about this myself. Obviously sometimes those drugs don't work the best so you're forced to take something less desirable.
I do know however that Psych's and Docs in general are big into getting you to wean, especially since they think that the kid is so old anyway and they probably think it's weird.
La Leche League can be helpful with what drugs you are able to take and with a kid who is 2 1/2 your options are much greater than when you're nursing and infant. I would even look on their web-site and/or call a La Leche League leader if that's something you are concerned about.

just thought I'd throw that in--sorry if it doesn't apply
 

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I wish there was an easy way to figure these things out. Sometimes I think we've got it nailed, and then another can of worms opens up. It's a process just like everything else in life. It has been helpful to us to try to find the triggers for the behavior, it may be sensory, food, hunger, frustration, etc.
Every trait has its up and down side, including those of our special needs kids. Keep looking at the positive, like that lady told you. And know that you are the right Mama for each of your children.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
The drug is a class C in breastfeeding....BUT 30-40% of it comes through in the breastmilk....effects are unknown, and the child has to be monitored often. The worst side effect with the drug is a fatal rash.....that will often occur in children....Im not willing to take the risk of the drug affecting my dd's brain chemistry or her getting that rash. She is doing ok...she had one sad day, but went to her daddy and snuggled with him and was happy. We were only nursing a couple times a week.

Ive thought about the emotional working out idea as well....but he has been like this since he was a baby. My sister a couple weeks ago asked if he has ADHD because he never stops...he is like a little butterfly flitting from thing to thing and is very impulsive.
 

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Again, do you have a ped that can help you evaluate your child?

Do you need help finding one?

If your child has anything associated with what you are describing he needs help. And so will you.

mv
 

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I'm sorry everything is piling up. But it sounds as though everyone is on side and agreeing with you that something needs to be done. It must be very hard dealing with this while you are already trying to sort out your own new stuff: it makes it all the harder to give yourself the time you need as well.

I agree with mamaverdi that the ideal helper is a ped who really wants to help you coordinate care. But try to get help from everyone who knows your son well and wants to help you help him. Our best help came from occupational therapy. I'm not sure what your best help will be. It is definitely a journey. My son has seen behaviour team, psychiatrist, OT, second OT, and now a new psychiatrist. Along with his wonderful ped and his teachers.

Again, best wishes and hugs, Fiona
 

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The best advice I can give is to go and read through bpkids.org They have a GREAT site and forum. Also there is a good "sign" page to go through here: http://www.bpkids.org/site/PageServe...name=lrn_about

My son went "full blown" into bipolar when he was 4. And I am too (as well as others in our family). BP is hereditary unfortunately.

We do homeschool partly because of it. He is on meds and we try to eat NT/low sugar to help. Lots of Omega's help too.

Once everyone gets stable it does get easier... you just have to fight for it as many docs just don't take kids seriously! And waaaaaaaaaay too many kids are just labled off as ADHD when they are really showing symptoms of childhood onset bipolar. Where as ADD/ADHD gets thrown around by many docs, BP is VERY hard to get a dx of because too many docs do not know enough and wont label a kid with a mood disorder.

Make sure you get a full pysch eval, and go around to as many docs as you need until you feel good about one. I had to look for years until I found someone to even listen to me. A child psychiatrist is the best to get if you can find one.

Just take a deep breath and know that many others go through it with you!

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
 

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Oh and for others wondering about breastfeeding while on bipolar meds.

You can't.

Yes there are "safer" meds to take for depression, but bipolar is totally different.

MOST bipolars can NOT take ANY type of antidepressant because it makes them manic. And there is a MUCH higher chance of suicidal thoughts.

Bipolars usually take mood stabilizers and anti psychotics and they are not safe for breastfeeding. Most are class C.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
We do have a Ped we can go to. My Priest and his wife know him very well and have many connections as well. Today was a wonderful day with him...it was his birthday...he is 6. He has had vacation church school this week, and the first 2 days he had a VERY hard time...but had fun...today he took everything in stride, participated even in stuff he found "undignified" and had a great time! he was so happy about that it was the first thing he told me.
Im going to talk to my Priest about it as well....I am seeing him myself for spiritual counseling to compliment the other counseling. I will also get him into his Ped. and figure out where to go.
 

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Okay, I'm bipolar and have been breastfeeding for 15 months, plus the six months I ep'd for my first dd. Depakote didn't work for me (taken long before I had children), but neurontin and zoloft combo (many folks can't take antidepressants, but the zoloft with the neurontin worked great for me) was a lifesaver. I was on lamictal with dd#1, but dd#2 would get colic about 8 hrs after I took it, and that disappeared when I stopped taking the lamictal. Since the lamictal made very little difference to me, that was not a big deal. But you CAN breastfeed on many bipolar drugs. Yes, many are class C, but Class C does not equal dangerous. Drug companies don't do studies on pregnant or nursing women bc of liability fears (quite rightly), but there are databases of reports from persons who have done so. Class C just means studies haven't been done and they don't know for sure. But antecdotal records exist in large quantities. And I always figured that since my dc have a higher risk of mood disorders, medication they received in utero and to a much lesser extent thru breast milk is if anything likely to help smooth out their brain chemistry as it develops. This isn't something that should be undertaken lightly, but check out Hales websites. It's not an automatic weaning sentence. Hang in there!
 
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