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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...I'm bout to pull all of my hair out. I'm not sure if I should post here, but you guys here in this subforum seem to be a bit more understanding, and I'm wondering if there is something "up" with my 2.5 year old. (Extreme mental issues run on both sides of our family, so I been kinda sorta more or less just waiting to see if anything was going to "show up" with him...)<br><br>
I usually get off of work at round about 5 oclock. He stays with my mom until I get off of work.<br><br>
This is the routine.<br><br>
We get home, I let him watch sponge bob. Then when it goes off, he tantrums about the whole entire hour of 6.<br><br>
He just stopped. But he does this every day, and by the time he stops, I am at my wits end, our whole evening is stressed for the rest of the evening.<br><br>
I tried not letting him watch TV.<br><br>
I tried turning on music for him. (Seems very theraputic for the both of us...)<br><br>
I tried holding him and understanding.<br><br>
After I let him get his feelings out, I try telling him it's enough and trying to get him to turn his attention to other things.<br><br>
It doesn't matter what I do, at 6 oclock in the evening, he will find SOMETHING to tantrum about and he will tantrum for an hour.<br><br>
If you try to take him some where different, show him something different, do something else with him, he will stop for a few seconds, and then do this "thing" where he fakes up another cry. (Best way I can describe it.. he pretends to cry until he gets worked up enough for tears to come out...)<br><br>
I don't know what to do anymore. It's never as soon as I get home from work, it's always about 6 or so.<br><br>
It's like he has colic all over again or something. he used to get cranky every day about this hour, but never this much.<br><br>
I'm so confused. He gets oppositional every day about this hour. (I think oppositional defiant disorder runs on his dad's side, and Ad/hd runs on both sides really strong.)<br><br>
I'm going to go crazy. He hits this octive in his sobbing that makes me want to go berserk, as I have hearing sensory issues. I don't know what to do.<br><br><br>
As he's calmed down now, I'm going to rest a bit, because now I have a migrain. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> No specific advice (my kids have different issues), but I hope someone here can help.
 

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Well, two things I can think of right off hand...<br><br>
1. Is he getting enough/too much sleep? What time does he nap at your mom's house? Is he napping? Does he sleep well at night?<br><br>
2. Could he be hungry?? I tend to get hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and one of the first signs that I'm low is I get hyper-reactive...every sound, every motion, even smells start to get to me. I have to literally walk around the house turning off sounds and lights (and of course have to eat something) before I'll start to get my head back on straight. It just feels like I'm out of control, and I don't like it, which makes me feel more out of control. It's a spiral. Could he be doing something like that?
 

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What food have you tried as a snack? We found out with my brother that he needed something with fat and calories in it. Fruit or veggies didn't cut it. Without fat (dove bars worked best...) in his ~4pm snack, he was a mess in the evening. With your family history, this might only be a small part, but I thought I'd ask since your experiments with food aren't a part of your post.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
He usually eats as soon as he gets home, I don't know if that would have something to do with it or not. He's an E.X.T.R.E.M.E.L.Y. picky eater, and has been on a chicken nugget and french fry kick lately. But he eats them willingly.<br><br>
We have been having "issues" with is nursing lately. He is becoming extremly awful at nursing. His latch is awful. So I let him nurse for as long as I can tolerate and then I tell him it's time to do something else, usually right after he eats. He usually pops off anyway, as when he has this ridiculously loose latch, he's not really nursing anyway. He rarely "nurse"s (as in, down the the brass tacks type of nursing...) much anymore, it's usually "fake" nursing (as I call it..) where it's really loose, extremely annoying, and we end it early. I tell him he can come back when he "really" want's some milk... I'm reluctant to wean him right now, but I can't tolerate the type of nursing he does. But he usually nurses right after eating.<br><br><br>
Then he goes and plays with his trucks. Then he gets all cranked up and verges on hystericaly around 6-ish.<br><br>
As for his sleeping pattern, I have not being seeing eye-to-eye with my mom. I have always followed his signals with his sleeping cycle. I just started working in Sept of this year, but before this, me and him have been on the same page with our sleep cycle. We are both night owls, and that's ok with me. He gets all of his sleep in by sleeping later in the mornings and taking a late nap. I sleep with him when he wants, stay away when he wants. This was just a battle I didn't feel that was worth fighting with him, because it worked for us.<br><br>
When he goes to take his nap late at my mom's house, she wakes him up after she feels he has "slept enough". This makes me so <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> and I told her so. I told her I would much prefer that he slept his nap out. So now, she tells me he took a nap but "she had to wake him up" because of this or that reason. (She had to go somewhere, etc...) I don't think he sleeps his naps out often at her house on account of the fact that he usually takes them late, and my mom thinks that if he takes a late nap it will be that much later when he goes to bed. Early bed times are a big huge anal deal with her.....<br><br>
This is an issue in itself, and we are trying to muddle through the Christmas season with my job, and then my husband and I will consider my quitting my job and becoming a sahm again, because I don't trust anyone to take care of him but family, and I'm beginning to not trust my mom. I feel we would all be happier if I was a sahm again.<br><br>
The thing that confuses me is that his tantrums turn off like a switch at about 7 oclock or so. And he doesn't go to bed till like 10 or 11. So there is a span of time between 7 and 11ish where he is just as jolly and dandy like nothing ever happenned. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: I mean, usually, if it's that he's tired, he'll rant and rave around, then ask you to pick him up, lay on your shoulder and go to sleep.<br><br>
Me and him usually understand each other extremely well. He is not the type of child that cries a lot. But he changed when I starting working.<br><br>
Then maybe it's me. I have schizoaffective disorder and add, and i told my husband i wasn't sure I could give all of myself being the type of mother that my child would deserve to have and work a job at the same time. My brain is a plate that is a bit smaller than everybody elses "brain-plate" and I can't fit as much on my brain-plate as the average person may be able to fit onto their own brain-plates. but we really needed me to work. but everything is starting to fall apart just like i knew it would<br><br>
anyhow, i'm starting to ramble...he is driving his cars up and down my arms right now, just like everything was always ok, but my nerves will be rattled for the rest of the evening.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gabysmom617</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9937664"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">When he goes to take his nap late at my mom's house, she wakes him up after she feels he has "slept enough". This makes me so <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> and I told her so. I told her I would much prefer that he slept his nap out. So now, she tells me he took a nap but "she had to wake him up" because of this or that reason. (She had to go somewhere, etc...) I don't think he sleeps his naps out often at her house on account of the fact that he usually takes them late, and my mom thinks that if he takes a late nap it will be that much later when he goes to bed. Early bed times are a big huge anal deal with her.....</div>
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Oh look! What's this in this nutshell? Why, it's your whole problem!<br><br>
I think this is the main issue. He needs to sleep out his nap. This sounds like classic sleep deprivation, even down to the "second wind" at 7 pm and the calmer, tired-seeming crankiness later.<br><br>
Lying is bad, but you could ask your pediatrician to tell you that he needs to not be woken from his nap, and then you could tell her "doctor's orders." That's what I did when my (usually lovely) MIL wants to feed my four-month-old. If you can lie, then just tell her the doc won't "let" you wake him up in the afternoons.
 

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He either needs to go to bed much earlier, or he needs a full nap earlier in the afternoon. Or even both. My son did the same exact thing for the last year. I had to eliminate any napping at all, even 20 minutes, and slowly work him down to a reasonable bedtime, because frankly I was going to lose my mind.
 

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He's TIRED!!! He needs that nap, and he's tantruming at 6pm b/c he's tired. And then yep, here comes his second wind to get him through until bedtime. Tell your mom to let that baby sleep!1
 

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I agree - classic symptoms of being overtired.<br><br>
We get this behavior a lot with our dd (3 1/2 and NT). Her sleep schedule sucks. She mostly doesn't nap, but does fall asleep about once or twice a week. And when she does, then it messes with her whole sleep cycle for the next 2-3 days - she's not tired enough to go to sleep at a 'reasonable' hour (i.e. before 10 or 11 pm). She wakes 5 minutes after I get out of bed - and on weekdays I'm up at 7:30 - 8 am. So, on days when she's had only about 8 hours of sleep and no nap, we get some pretty awful meltdowns.<br><br>
Sample :The great tights meltdown.<br>
Dd went out to the garage to find something in the car. She stepped in a small puddle and her tights got wet (she was wearning no shoes. She never wears shoes.)<br><br>
"My tights are wet! I want new tights on."<br>
"Ok, let's go change your tights."<br>
"No, I want new tights on." "<br>
"Hmm.. let's get another pair."<br>
"No! I need new tights on."<br>
"You want new tights on? that are dry?"<br>
"No! I want these tights on!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
"You want those tights on, but you want them to be dry."<br>
"Yes!!"<br>
"Hmm... well I can change your tights or we can take those off and put them in the dryer."<br>
"No!! I want these tights to be dry and I want them on!"<br>
"Ah. You want these tights to be dry and you want them on."<br>
"I want new tights on! I want my tights to be dry."<br>
"Well, we can take them off or get new ones."<br>
"No!!!"<br>
"You want these tights to be dry right now. Too bad I can't do that without taking them off."<br>
"Yes you can!!!!!!"<br><br>
I quit arguing, but her sobbing went on for a good 20 minutes or more.<br><br>
(I declined to suggest the hairdryer and drying them that way. She HATES the noise of the hairdryer and that would have sent her further over the edge.)
 

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sounds like a tired boy to me. of course, it could be alot of things - diet, genetic issues etc, but the obvious answer is sleepy grumpy toddler. when i was reading your description it sounds just like my 2 1/2 year old on a day when he hasn't gotten any/enough nap.
 

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Offtopic--Lynn, I think your daughter and mine are related. That is SUCH a conversation we would have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Ok, so I got off of work early today, at 3, he was sleep when I got picked up from work. We managed to get him into the house and he continued to sleep on me until he woke up on his one at about 6:55. The first thing he did was fuss for about 5 mins when he woke up. But now he's ok. No fussing. Hopefully it is just from being tired.
 

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I would really encourage you not to spin this into proof that there is something wrong with the genes in your family. I agree OVERTIRED is what this screams to me. I'd try to get him on approximately the same routine for eating and sleeping 7 days a week even if that means you need to alter your schedule a bit for the days you are home in order to get into sync with the babysitter's schedule.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Ugh!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><br><br>
So today, I go and pick up my monkey.<br><br>
My mom says: "That little boy just woke up not too long ago..."<br><br>
Me: "Oh, did he wake up on his own today?"<br><br>
My mom, with a blank look on her face: "No, I woke him up because I had to go to the clothes line."<br><br>
Me: "<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> The clothes line where?"<br><br>
Her: "The clothes line out back..."<br><br>
Me: "<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: .....oh."<br><br>
Her: "Yeah because your dad was gone, so I took him outside with me to the clothes line, so I woke him up.."<br><br>
Me: "Oh...YOu could have let him sleep while you went to the clothesline..."<br><br>
Her: "..............YOU DON'T CARE IF HE SLEEPS WAY ON INTO THE EVENING LIKE THAT!?"<br><br>
So then I commence to tell her the way he acts on for me on the days when she wakes him up from his naps, concluding (Once again!!! This is neither the first, NOR THE SECOND time I've told her to let him sleep out his naps if she has nowhere to go...") that I'd much rather her allow him to sleep out his naps no matter how late he goes to sleep.\<br><br><br>
Her, with a look of bewilderment on her face: "Oh. Well, I"ll keep that in mind then..." As if this is the FIRST TIME we've ever had this conversation.<br><br>
Ugh!!<br><br>
I know what's going to happen. Wherever our parenting philosophies differ, she'll go ahead and do whatever the heck she wants to do, and when I call her out on it, she'll act as if I've never told her to do differently before, promise to do different, and continue to do whatever she wants to do...<br><br>
UGH..!!!. I am considering different plans with my work and babysitting etc so as not to have her keep him on a regular basis anymore, but I am going to go crazy until we come up with a solution and proceed with the plan....<br><br>
Ugh.. Sorry. Just needed to blow off some steam...
 

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I am not sure why your mom is having such a thick skull over this. Just point blank, in no uncertain terms, she needs to let him sleep. Kids are wonderful at that age because usually their bodies know what to do to keep them happy and healthy. Why can't she not just enjoy the quiet time to get stuff done?!?!
 
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