Ex hugged me w/out permission

: I don't know what to say. Its kinda like one of the moments where you shake your head and say what are you thinking! I would tell him that, that was crossing the line and to keep his hands to himself from now on because that is unappropriate behavior and you will not put up with it.

Sharlia, I think he does. I left him, and he says all the time that he knows it's over, and he has moved on. He tries to make this very clear, but then he makes comments often about how he wished we could have worked things out, and that he wasn't there for me when I was in "crisis'. He wanted to sit down with me a month ago and discuss why I left him so he could have closure. He knows darn well why I left him, and I've told him many times. Another issue is that ex is also dealing with a disability that has limited what he is able to do. He also does not really take care of himself. They way he takes care of himself and the fact that he never goes out makes it very unlikely that he will meet anyone. He met me when I was 15 and he was 25. Without sounding conceded I am way out of his league, and he used the fact that I was so young to control and manipulate me. I really do feel empathy for what he is going through, but I will not be controlled by him anymore. And I do not find it appropriate for him to be hugging me. I just do not know what he is going to do next. Part of me felt like he was about to kiss me on the cheek. I forgot to mention that when he hugged me he said "I love you". He said he did not mean it in a bad way but that we should be able to show affection for our daughters sake. That he loves me becuase he cares about me but that he is completely over our relationship. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.

s for you Teagan.
Have you tried talking to ex that your not comfortable about what he is doing.
Hope things will be better for you.

Sounds just like my STBX. It's a really uncomfortable situation to be put it. Especially doing it without your permission. He is not respecting your boundaries. Try telling him that it is not appropriate for him to do that anymore and that it makes you feel uncomfortable.

It might not work. My STBX still hugs me sometimes and once even kissed me on my neck, I pushed him away and left. It makes me feel so mad and violated : But on the other hand I feel bad for him. He's also somewhat manipulative and a hot-head.

Our situations sound very similar, my DS was born a week after your DD and I've also been living away from STBX for 1.5 yrs but not with him for 2 yrs. I know what your feeling mama!

Quote:
I agree in an ideal world then it wouldn't make any difference who tells a creep to keep his hands to himself But if this has come up before, and he hasn't listened, perhaps some intimidation would make a difference? At least, that's why I suggested it...not because I think it SHOULD be necessary, just because it MIGHT help. Does that make any sense? Since the goal is to get him to stop, sometimes it's necessary to think outside of the (feminist) box if necessary to get to the goal...at least, that's been my experience! (kinda...when dealing with a neanderthal, use language that'll work...)