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I help and advice... My ex wants his fiancé to attend DS's student lead conference. This will be the first school conference that my ex has attended in 5 years. I have spoken with DS and he has voiced that he doesn't want his dads fiancé there. I have not told my DS that I don't feel comfortable with her being there either. I have asked the school if they will do separate conferences, but they will not since it is student lead. I know that the fiancé wants what she feels is best for my DS, but she and the ex have crossed many boundaries with me and we all have only been on cordial speaking terms in the last 4 months. She doesn't have a filter and doesn't know when just to be an observer. She says all the time "I'm not here to replace you and I want to be his Mimi/ other mom". How do I politely tell my ex that I don't want the fiancé there?
 

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How did it come up the DS doesn't want her to be there? Did you ask him or did he tell you unprompted? If you asked him, it is possible that he was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear.

How much time do DS and his father spend together?

Are you concerned that she will disrupt the presentation with her comments? Is this a genuine concern or do you just not like her?

I'm asking these questions because she's marrying his father. If he sees them regularly then she is going to be a significant part of his life and everyone might as well get used to that now rather than creating bad feelings at the outset.


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Is she going to be there instead of his dad? That would be a huge no, and I think the school would listen to you on that, and turn her away. If she is going with your ex, then I do not think there is much you can do apart from speak up when you need to at the conference.
 
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