Mothering Forum banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but I miscarried an underdeveloped twin at 11 weeks, during this pregnancy.

It seemed to start when I passed i rather large blob of mucus in the morning. It was a little weird, kinda fiberous, with some "stuff" in it, but I didn't see any blood, so I really didn't think anything of it at the time. I didn't inspect or prod it very much.

Started spotting in the afternoon, with light cramping.

I went to bed and woke up to blood (can't remember if I had any clots) and more cramping. The midwife said that I was likely having a miscarriage, and I could either go to the hospital, or I could just hang out at home. -I went to work, but quickly realized that was a mistake, and went immediately to the hospital.

An ultrasound revealed that we still had one live baby and a second, now empty sac. The bleeding and spotting continued for a week or two and then stopped completely. The ER doc told me that the second twin had miscarried earlier, and that my body would likely absorb the second sac. Later, a nurse came in and told me that there "possiblly never was a baby in the second sac at all, so shouldn't feel so bad."

So, I guess that I will never really know if there was ever another baby, or what happened. And, sometimes that makes it hard to sort out my feelings.

I don't know if you can understand this, but it becomes hard to validate your feelings when you don't know what the real situation was. I feel stupid and melodramatic at times, just for feeling sad, and wondering about a baby that might not have even been there. And sometimes, I just feel like I should shut the heck up and count my blessings, as I could very easily have lost both, and have no baby at all.

Birth loss is complicated business. I just wish that more of our medical professionals could help us figure out how to best deal with it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
Joan, thank you! Sometimes, we, as women don't give ourselves permission to feel what we need to feel. It's easier to be supportive of others than to allow ourselves those things we need to feel better again. I really appreciated what you've posted, and I needed to hear it. Thanks, again.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top