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This is a wonderful thread- I wish something like this had been available when I went through this in 2002.

I was 7 wk 1 day pg according to LMP and I had a very tiny amount of brown spotting and some cramping, so I called my midwife in tears and she got me an appointment at the local ER to do an ultrasound and HCG test. She told me that most likely nothing would be wrong and that this was just to ease my mind. During that US, we heard the heartbeat and saw the baby on the screen and we were so releived to see "him" that we even brought our oldest daughter (8 at the time) to see everything and hear the heartbeat. The tech said everything looked fine. Her instructions were to have me wait in the waiting room while the radiologist looked at the US results. About 20 minutes later I was called back into the office and the tech handed me the phone and told my that my midwife wanted to speak with me. When I picked up the phone, Aimee, my midwife, told me that my HCG was really low for 7 weeks, the heartbeat was too slow, and that the sac was measuring only 5 weeks. She told me that I would miscarry.

I of course, lost it completely. The whole hospital must've known I was there, cause I was hysterical! A half hour earlier I had been smiling with joy at the site of my little baby and the sound of his heartbeat. But now I knew this little one was about to die. It broke my heart.

I went to work every day after that and had more hcg tests, none of them looking promising. I frantically searched online for information about women whose babies had survived under those conditions, but I found few. I insisted that my midwives prescribe progesterone in the hopes that it would help.

Mother's Day was the following Sunday and somehow I managed to get up the courage to go out to dinner with my family. At the restaurant, I saw so many babies and pregnant women, I just wanted to die, it was so sad.

The following morning, I woke up and went to work and something hit me- I needed an ultrasound immediately. I knew something had happened, so I cancelled my appointments for the day and called my midwife who was very understanding and made me another appointment at a Women's Health Clinic for an ultrasound. I remember waiting in the waiting room hearing Ella Fitzgerald singing "At Last" over the radio. I loved that song and I thought, "This is one of my favorite songs, maybe it's sign that everything will be okay" Then I went in to have the US and the tech broke the news to me that my baby had died. I was told to go straight to the midwives office and when I got in my car I didn't even know how to get there anymore. I drove down the wrong way of a one way street, got lost and finally an hour later made it to the midwives office and cried my eyes out some more.

Two days later I was resting on the couch when I felt a pain, and I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet and blood just gushed out. I kept cramping and bleeding, so much that I couldn't even get off the toilet. I was home alone so I called my husband at work and got his voicemail and left a message for him to call me back immediately. Then I heard a huge plop in the toilet and when I looked down everything was red except for this little sac and when I picked it up I saw my little baby. He looked exactly like a 6 week old fetus looked in my books, except for only one arm bud had started to develop. He was still in the sac and I could see eyes, a heart, beginnings of a spine, a little tail that was beginning to dissapear. At that moment I freaked out and called the midwives. It was their lunch hour so I got the answering service and was called back immediately and I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone as she listened to me sob and tell her how I was holding my tiny littly baby in my hand and sitting on the toilet bleeding. I was still home alone so I called my friend Lisa, then my mom, while I waited for my husband to come home. We rushed to the midwives office because by the late afternoon, I was so exhausted from the ordeal that I could barely get up and Mike thought I was bleeding too much.

I just cried and cried off and on for 2 weeks. I thought I was going crazy for not getting over it quickly- everyone said such stupid things to me.

I had one cycle then got pregnant immediately and now Madelyn is 18 months old. I still cry about that lost little boy of mine- I just know it was a boy, I could feel it. It was so sad. We buried him in the back yard, but we have since moved from that house and I think about it once in awhile.

I know this is long, but it was very therapeutic to write. It's still very fresh in my mind and I imagine it always will be. Thanks for giving me a place to share my experience. I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out now, I can't believe how much it still affects me, over two years later.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kathywiehl
Two days later I was resting on the couch when I felt a pain, and I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet and blood just gushed out. I kept cramping and bleeding, so much that I couldn't even get off the toilet. I was home alone so I called my husband at work and got his voicemail and left a message for him to call me back immediately. Then I heard a huge plop in the toilet and when I looked down everything was red except for this little sac and when I picked it up I saw my little baby. He looked exactly like a 6 week old fetus looked in my books, except for only one arm bud had started to develop. He was still in the sac and I could see eyes, a heart, beginnings of a spine, a little tail that was beginning to dissapear.


Thanks, this was very interesting to read. I had a m/c when I was 11 weeks past my LMP. I started spotting the day I turned 11 weeks and went to the ER to see if there was something that could be done. It was such a tiny amount of blood that the doctors had me convinced it was probably just normal bleeding. Then I had an u/s and there was no baby, so the pregnancy had stopped developing somewhere along the way. I stopped feeling symptoms around 9 weeks, but a someone told me with a blighted ovum you still have symptoms for awhile even though you aren't really pregnant.

I started bleeding heavily the next day. For a day it was just like a light period, then the dam burst and all of a sudden a gush and it was pouring out of me, but I had no pain. I kept moving from the toilet to the tub and pulling out the clots so I could check for something babylike. I even took a photo of a kind of fetal shaped clot, but there was nothing that looked like a baby in it. I keep thinking that somehow I missed seeing the baby, but then I think maybe there was no baby. It is kind of confusing for me.

I hadn't been to a doctor until the spotting started--I was going to wait until 12 weeks because I was trying to use a midwife and get that worked out. So I never heard a heartbeat and I don't know if there was one or not. It sounds like if there had been a baby, I should have seen it. But at one point when I was in the hospital for the second night in a row, and the doctor was scraping the last stuff out, the nurse made a noise and then took something quickly away. I wanted to see it, but she said it was nothing. So, of course, I've always wondered if it was something that looked like a baby or part of a baby.

My mom called the ambulance for me, which was really over the top as far as I was concerned, but I did almost pass out at one point when they tried to take my blood pressure. The OB wanted to do a D&C but I had eaten dinner in the midst of the miscarriage. I was really hungry, so I crawled out with about 10 pads on and ate something. The whole experience was kind of surreal. We had some gallows humor going on, and my mom and sisters were sharing their miscarriage experiences, and my sister reached in the blood filled toilet to get my clot. I was hoping to examine that clot a little more, but then my friend cleaned up the bathroom for me when I went to the hospital.
I really appreciate his hardwork, I was just a little sad at still not knowing.

Nothing I had seemed sac like--it all just seemed like pieces of liver and huge clots that got stuck and I had to pull out. Does this indicate something more than another thing?
 

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I was 8(9?) weeks pregnant when I went for an ultrasound. Not that this had anything to do with my miscarriage, but the ultrasound tech was *very* rude. But anyway, she didn't tell me anything, just made me wait in that cold room for about an hour after the ultrasound. She came back in and said I had to talk to my doctor on the phone. She told me that I was going to miscarry, but didn't tell me why and I was too shocked to ask. I was just stunned silent. I felt very alone that they would tell me something so horrible over the phone, but maybe it was better that way than having the rude u/s tech. tell me.

Anyway, I spent about two weeks walking around knowing I was carrying a dead baby. What made it even worse was that my best friend (ex-best friend now, but not because of this) found out she was pregnant when I found out I was losing my baby. I had to spend time with her knowing she had a live baby and I had a dead one inside me. This is horrible of me to say, but during that time I wished she would lose hers too. (Unfortunately, she did about a month later. I know it wasn't my fault that she lost hers because of how I felt, but it felt like it was at the time.)

Anyway, one night I was checking my email and got up to get a drink. I felt a heavy gush and I thought I had wet myself. I checked my pants and my hand was bloody. It was almost like a signal for all the bad stuff to happen, because I almost immediately felt crampy. I went upstairs and told my mom it was finally happening and I laid on the couch for a while in pain. I decided to go upstairs and take a bath because that always made me feel better when I had AF. I stood up from the couch and felt a gush again. When I went upstairs to undress there was a small clear sac the size of my fist in my underwear that was kinda solid looking in the center. I freaked out and let it fall in the toilet and I immediately flushed it. I was screaming and basically just being hysterical. I spent the entire bath crying. I had to take a shower, too, because the water turned red and it was getting kinda gross.

This happened in October of last year, and I found out in January that I was pregnant again. We had our DS on 8/04/04. I wonder what the first baby would have been like if I had carried to term, but if I had we wouldn't have Trent and that cheers me up.
 

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Karennnnn, thank you for posting this thread. last year i also had a blighted ovum, something i'd never even heard of before. a lot of people say a blighted ovum isn't a "real" miscarriage so i've never really talked about it, my first post was too cold, i know i need to write while connecting with my emotions.

my hcg levels were 38,000, i knew when we conceived so we knew i was 12 weeks along. celebration time!!! i was scheduled for an u/s. my husband and i watched as a perfect white circle showed on the u/s screen, then the tech explained there was no baby, just a placenta and sac. i felt numb. the image of that perfect, empty sac haunted me in nightmares, especially before this baby's first ultrasound. the dr. explained that it was rare for a blighted ovum to go on this long, and that i'd start miscarrying fairly soon, and urged me to schedule a D&C for the next day. i refused.

i researched blighted ovum and thought about it for a few days, i was still amazed that i had gotten pregnant in the first place, after 10 years of infertility! a friend even said when i told her i was miscarrying, "you got pregnant?!" which validated how wonderful i felt that my body was working. i decided i'd let my body do this on its own, so that my uterus would be healthy for the next baby


from the u/s to the day the miscarriage ended took 4 months. (during that time we got married, we'd moved the wedding up because of the baby, only very close family knew i was miscarrying at the wedding.) 2 weeks after the u/s, i started spotting lightly, then more heavily, with cramps on and off, and my hcg levels steadily went down each week. i monitored my temperature daily, had instructions on when to call or go in, and just rested and took care of myself. i saw a lot of rusty-brown blood, some bright red blood, and rubbery clots with mucous-colored stringy bits, but not all at once. i kept thinking it was over whenever i bled more and saw more clots, but it stopped and started several times. i kept getting offered a D&C but kept refusing, since i wasn't running a fever and the pain wasn't constant and i could handle it. it felt like i was being tossed around on long, slow waves, emotionally and physically.

i didn't see the end result, i was out of it in the ER, didn't think to ask to see and later i wished i had. the last bit of placenta/sac was stuck at my cervix and i was in excruiciating pain with a sudden high fever, i needed help ... the ER OB was very kind, understood i was having a natural miscarriage ... she talked me and my husband through a manual extraction. i cried so hard because i was no longer pregnant, marveled at the mystery that is the human body, and realized how "lucky" i was that there was no baby, because i can't imagine how devastating it would have been. but i still can't express all the emotions i felt/feel.

it took me until i was about 36 weeks along in this pregnancy to realize that i don't need to fear a natural birth, because i went through a long, natural miscarriage and i was just fine. my "shadow baby" has been a comfort to me in this way.

peace,
meli
 

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Mine started on a Sunday. I was getting in the car with my SIL to go shopping. I felt a rush of blood and told her to drive around the block--our toddlers were in the back seat. I ran in the house and watched blood pour into the toilet. I put on a pad and went outside to get in the car. I didn't have any pain or cramping and refused to admit anything could be wrong. People bleed for lots of reasons, right? She said she thought we should stay home just in case. We glanced at each other as we were getting the kids out of the car and we both had tears in our eyes. Within hours I started having horrible cramps and called my OB. He was golfing and said since nothing could be done I should just take some motrin and call back on Monday if I was still bleeding. DH was at the footbal conference championship game and I didn't want to ask him to come home. Finally I had bled through so many pads that I went downstairs and told my FIL I was having a miscarriage and needed him to go pick up DH from the game. We both started to cry. I had horrible cramps and bleeding for about 24 hours. At times I just sat on the toilet and let it pour out of me. Then I felt something large pass and heard a huge splash into the toilet. I forced myself to fish out a huge frisbee shaped placenta. I saw the sac but couldn't open it. I put it back in the toilet and flushed it.

My husband couldn't really talk about it. My SIL held me while we both cried. I wish I had done some sort of memorial. At the time I thought I was just suppossed to forget.

We started TTC right away, but didn't conceive again until the first cycle after that baby's EDD. We were trying the whole time, but I never felt closure until the EDD had passed. Somewhere inside me I think I needed to ride out the phantom pregnancy to last possible moment.

Thank you for this thread. It feels right to finally be able to share the details.
 

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I have had several, and at this point it's hard to remember what/how each went.

In general, if it starts around or before 5 weeks for me it's less severe than if it's further. Those I only bleed a few days longer and a little heavier than a period and rarely *see* anything.

The ones which were later felt like LABOR when they started. I bled/spotted off and on both before they started and after for a while. I had to sit on the toilet and just breathe through them like with labor. I saw little placentas and sacs (no fetus, as both my later losses were delayed losses as well and they'd reabsorbed or broken down).

For *me* the later ones were much harder to deal with (and were 1 year apart nearly to the day, so pretty cruel that way too).

My advice if you find something is to not just throw/flush it. I regret that SO much after my last loss (twins, at around 10 weeks, the placentas were smaller than 10 week size though, so they'd stopped growing). I was camping and didn't know how to keep them discretely so I threw them away. I really regret that now.
 

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I wish this thread would have been here when I m/c. It was December of 2001, I was 12 weeks pregnant, and thought I was past the scary part. This was my third baby, so I wasn't actually worried anyway, and no one in my family had ever m/c. I started spotting, just a tiny bit, but called my mw(I was planning my first homebirth). She said wait out hte weekend, rest, keep my feet up, it's probably fine...spotting happens. I stopped spotting, but went in on Monday to listen for the heartbeat just to make sure everything was ok. She couldn't find one...I still wasn't too worried becasue I am overweight and it is harder to hear it anyway. She gave me the option of an u/s or waiting...and I chose the u/s. So we went in that day and had it done. The baby was dead, had stopped growing around 7.5 weeks. It was awful laying on the table, having the tech do a complete u/s when I knew already the baby was gone...she insited on measure my kidneys and stuff...I should have told her to stop, but I just laid there, tears streaming down my face trying to hold the sobs in.

I decided I wanted to m/c at home...I was afterall planning to have the baby at home, it just seemed like the right thing to do. My mw was totally unsupportive, basically said these things happen, and never even called to check on me in the three weeks it took to m/c completely. She was awful!

I was going to school at night, so continued to go to classes while I waited. I even took the kids to playgroup twice before I actually m/c...I think it made people uncomfortable, but I couldn't just sit at home waiting...nothing was happening. Finally one night in class I started getting horrible cramps, I tried to sit through the class and I figured I would just go home afterwards, but the pain was so bad I couldn't sit there...I drove home(I don't even remember getting home the pain was so bad), and it just got worse...I did not expect to feel this much pain, it was worse than my labours(I had epidurals though after 6 cm), and I was crying, and groaning, and spent most of the time int he tub. My poor hubby didn't know what to do for me. I was also having loose stools(constantly), so everytime I would sit on the toliet to poo, blood and pieces of my placenta were coming out, big clots...my husband was amazing he actually doned rubber gloves and searched through everything for me becasue I couldn't, and I couldn't flush knowing our baby might be in there. I couldn't stop crying. Then probably 3 or so in the morning it all stopped, I was still bleeding and having clots, but the bm and cramping stopped. I thought it was all over.

The same thing happened the next night. I thought I was going to die...I couldn't believe I had to go through it again, and I thought of ging to the hospital for a d&c, but didn't. It happened just like the night before, and stopped about 3 am again. I called a clinic here(the same one I had my first ds at), and they saw me right away. I was worried things weren't moving along the way they should be, and I didn't think I could handle another night of the pain. The woman(she is a mw)examined me and actually pulled a piece of tissue out(excruciating...and didn't even ask me if it was ok), and she wouldn't let me take it home. I was just crying, and she was awful too...no compassion at all, or maybe I just needed too much. I don't know. Anyway, she said it looked like the m/c wasn't complete and since it had been 3 weeks, she refered me to an ob. I had another u/s done, and had my hormone levels checked through all of this. The same day the mw took out the "tissue" I went to the bathroom that night and felt a pop, feeling and plop in the toliet. I think I knew it was the baby, but I didn't even have my hubby come in to search through the stuff again, and I think after days of doing this, I was just not thinking straight. I didn't even look in the toliet I just flushed. I regret that still...after almost 2 years, that I just flushed it. I felt like it was over.
I still went to the ob to make sure, and I think almost the worst part of the whole thing was I saw on my chart that it said I was being seen for a "missed abortion". I freaked out on the nurse. I thought they meant I had chosen to abort my baby and something went wrong. She explained to me that it was the term using for m/c there...it was crappy I thought. A slap in the face. Ack so anyway...I think it was really hard for a long time, and I still get sad sometimes, or wonder what she would have been like, but I got pregnant 3 months later and had my ds Sam(I worried the whole pregnancy), and I am now pregnant with my fourth baby, due in December.


Anyway...thanks for this thread...I haven't been able to explain things so clearly before.
Debi
 

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I have had two miscarriages. They were between my two boys. The first one, we got pg. on our first try of TTC another baby, our older ds had just turned 2 years old. everything seemed to be going fine, got a couple of days into my 11th week, had a regular check-up, and the dr couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler. Sent us for an ultrasound later that day. Ultrasound showed that the baby had stopped developing in the 8th week. I had just a tiny bit of brown spotting after the ultrasound. I was given the choice of a D&C, wait and see, or start things with a shot of methotroxate (spelling?). We were terrified, sad, scared. I was afraid of a D&C. Got online, got on boards, and sought out everything I could on exactly what a natural miscarriage was like, the pain, the amount of blood, the feelings. The next day, we went shopping, got a couple of movies, I felt numb to what was going to happen. I still remember it like yesterday. I was reading on the couch. Dh was on the computer, ds was watching cartoons. I felt a popping feeling, my water breaking, and a gush. I ran to the bathroom and literally sat on the toilet for hours while everything gushed out of me. I felt contractions. It was labor. It was more painful when I could tell tissue was stuck trying to come out of my cervix. So I would pull it out with a piece of toilet paper. If I hadn't read and read and talked to women that morning online about what was going to happen, I would've gone to the ER with the amount of blood that was coming out. Dh would come in and be with me, keep ds distracted, bring me a drink. I don't remember if I cried during it much. I was just concentrating on what was happening. Completely engulfed in the process. What I think was the baby, looked like a small sac, with some tiny bits in it. I moved to the bathtub and laid in there with the shower aimed on my back to help with the pain. I massaged my stomach, that made things go faster. My water broke around 1-2pm, and I finally left the bathroom at around 9:30pm. The majority of the miscarriage was that night, though the next week I could feel tissue caught on my cervix and I pulled it out, it was causing a lot of pain, hard to walk. Everything I saw, looked like large blood clots, thick rubbery looking tissue paper. I had to wear pads for a week or so. I got my blood drawn every week for 5 weeks until my hCg levels were below a 5 I think it was. Dh was home with me every day, the entire time, he had been in a car accident 2 weeks before I lost the baby, and he had a slight brain injury that kept him out of work. It was a blessing to have him with me during this time (and he was home for about a month after also, couldn't go back to work yet). Bad about the accident, but the timing of it meant dh could be with me and give ds the attention he needed also.

We got pregnant again 1.5 cycles after that baby. I was watched closely from the beginning. My hCg levels were doing their thing, but low. Early ultrasound was inconclusive. In the 9th week, ultrasound showed that the baby hadn't developed enough. It was over. Again I had no spotting or bleeding. This time, I wasn't waiting. I wanted it over. The next day I had a D&C. It was emotionally horrifying and scary. But physically, it was 90% less painful than the previous miscarriage. The first one was less scary though because I knew what my body was doing. I felt in control. With the d&c I felt out of control and afraid, but physically it was better. Each time I think we chose the right path. With the D&C, I didn't ask to see the baby. Our losses were on February 22nd 2002 & June 14th 2002.
 

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My story is the same as well as very different then some here. With my mc I had NO pain. Because of that fact I still doubt I had a m/c, but if it wasn't, then I don't know what it was.

I didn't even know I was pg. I thought for sure that I was but took a test and it was -. But now I know that it was too soon.

Anyway, we were at a conference in Chicago when I "got my period". I thought it was weird cause it was a week early, but not totally uncommon for me even though I was on the pill. That was Sat. On Thursday I was at work and I was standing on a chair putting stuff away on the shelves and I felt something BIG come out. I thought it was just a big clot. I went to the bathroom and there was this BIG whiteish/gray/pinkish thing on my pad. It was very hard and about the size of half a golf ball. My heart sank and I immediatly realized that it was my baby. I just froze and couldn't move. I don't remember how much I was bleeding at that point. My periods have always been heavy...even on the pill. So I had to go back in and finish my work day out. When I got home, I told Jim all about what happened and I called our insurance nurse line. She said to either go to the ER or urgent care. I chose urgent care cause I knew that wouldn't do a pelvic...the LAST thing that I wanted at the time...now I regret that. So we had to wait for our friend to get there cause we were having a meeting at our house that night with a ton of friends. We we went to the UC and the doc said that from everything I described it sounded like a m/c and we figured out the timing and figured out I was about 10 weeks, give or take a week. We went home and there were about 15 people there and I just went right to our bedroom and went to bed. I couldn't face anyway. At one point I did get thirsty and went to get something to drink I think. I don't remmeber too much. I bled for 3 week after that and got my next period exatly 28 days after the bleeding stopped.

Anyway, the not having any pain thing though totally throws me off. I still have doubts that I m/c. If that is what it was, I am totally convinced that I m/c'd cause I continued to take the pill the whole time.

to all
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Amber,
Something similar happened to my sister. I found this out after my own m/c with the blighted ovum.
She said for weeks and weeks she was bleeding off and on and said it was like a period that wouldn't stop. She is/was on the pill and her ob office tried to switch pills, etc but it wouldn't work.
Long story short, one day something plopped out and it was a walnut sized peice of tissue that she could not identify, but to me it sounded almost like a placenta or maybe a fetus that didn't quite form... Something odd. She said immediately after it came out she felt completely different and 100% better which is exactly how I felt.
The very upsetting part of this is that her ob office wasn't even interested in seeing it and dismissed the whole occurence. Really crappy, don't you think?
I believe we're blessed if we find a compassionate caregiver. They are really few and far between.
I'm glad everyone is finding comfort in this thread
Hugs to all of you mommas.
Karen
 

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I am so glad for this forum. It has helped me heal over the last couple of days, knowing others are out there who have experienced the loss of a baby.

I don't have any friends or work colleagues who have suffered this type of loss (or they haven't said openly).

My husband and I conceived our first child in the first month of trying. We were naturally very happy when we discovered that I was pregnant on 25 September.

Things were going well until 5 October when I started to spot. My baby was 4 weeks along.

The doctor prescribed Provera which I took for the next week and sent me for an US the next morning.

The US showed approx 3 inch gestatinal sac which we were somewhat relieved.

On the afternoon of 6 October the spotting turned bright red and was slightly heavier with a couple of small clots.

My husband took me to the ER and that afternoon the doctor advised me that I was going through a miscarriage.

That night I experienced painful cramps and passed through some more small clots and what looked like a little 3 inch bubble.

It seemed like a normal period overnight, I even stained the bedsheet. Then in the morning I went back to spotting.

I returned to my GP the day after going to the ER and my GP sent me to undergo blood tests as he believed that there was a chance that I could still be pregnant. His theory was that maybe the baby had rolled down in the uterus and re-implanted itself as I was still in the early stages of pregnancy.

By the next Monday my doctor confirmed via blood tests that my pregnancy hormones had dropped and that I had indeed miscarried.

It has been a week since the miscarriage and three days since I stopped taking Provera.

I had yet to move from spotting. No one can tell me if this is normal. My doctor said that when my pregnancy hormones drop my period would start. I have called a nurse on a help line, she couldn't tell me.

I just want to have an actual period so that I can go through a cycle and try to conceive again.

Thank you for this opportunity to vent.
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
Cherubess,
Either your doctor is wrong or he wasn't giving you complete information.
He's making it sound like the moment (or so) that your hcg is back to 0, you'll get your period. This isn't so. What seems to happen with most women is that about 28 days after the start of the m/c, they get their period back. This isn't a golden rule, but happens with most.
So in essence, the m/c is day one of your cycle. It may help to begin charting so you can get a better look at what is going on with your body.
The spotting is very normal and may go on for a few weeks. With my m/c I spotted on and off for probably 2 plus weeks.
Your body is an amazing thing and will recover and do its job. Even though I was obviously upset about having had a m/c, the fact that I began to ovulate and then get my period in such a way as if the m/c was my period, I was truly mesmerized.
Good luck to you and please stay here to help you heal!!
Take care,
Karen
 

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Thank you Karen


I have a better understanding now from this forum than I did from the doctor or a registered nurse. They couldn't or wouldn't give me any answers of what to expect - if what I was going through was normal.

I was getting really frustrated. I was beginning to feel that my body was in limbo land and that I was alone. It really got me down yesterday.

My darling husband was supportive last night but he really couldn't understand where I was coming from.

However after reading your post, I now feel like what I am going through is normal and I am looking forward to the next number of weeks to go by, meanwhile trying to pick up new hobbies to keep busy.

I can't believe that I am actually looking forward to seeing AF.
 

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Discussion Starter · #35 ·
I was feeling the same way! AF has a whole new meaning, it's a validation that our bodies are working again. As much as I dislike AF I have almost always had some sort of appreciation and respect for her

You m/c sounds like it was natural and you didn't have a d&c? Some opinions vary, but I was told by my midwife that as long as you didn't have a d&c, your lining is still intact. Because of that she told me I could ttc immediately. Each situation is different though so please trust your instinct and balance it with what you know.
Is it possible for you to see a different care provider once you become pregnant or ttc again? It's hard to know exactly what went on there, but I get the feeling that they weren't the best for you if you left with questions.
When I had my m/c the ob I went to didn't tell me too much either. I still can't figure out if it was because I went in there appearing like I knew exactly what was going on, or because they treat everyone that way. I'll tell you what, if I didn't know what I *do* know, I would have left very confused and frightened and above all, let down. Our bodies know what to do but it's also a little complicated at the same time.
Mothering.com is a good hobby by the way

Take care,
Karen
 

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Hi, I was posting to this board a month or so ago while "waiting" to miscarry. My 9 week u/s showed the baby only measured 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I wanted to m/c naturally so I said I'd wait... in the end I waited 2.5 weeks and still had absolutely no sign of m/c. Once I was at 12 weeks the whole "waiting" started to freak me out and I had an in-patient (no general anesthetic) D&C which was painful but emotionally very healing for me. I hadn't realized how much stress I had been under in the inbetween state.

I just wanted to post a 'different' experience because now that we have this u/s technology we find things out so much sooner than would have happened before. And I was suprised that there was no sign of m/c despite taking all the herbs (black cohosh etc) prescribed by my naturopath midwife.

So, in my case, I didn't see anything at all.

Shannon
 

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I am just updating a post of mine from last week.

This afternoon I went to the radiology clinic and had a pelvic ultrasound following my miscarriage on 6th October.

The findings from the radiologist are "The uterus and endometrium normal. No retained products seen. Both ovaries and both adnexae normal."

So I am happy (in the circumstances) that I can start TTC after AF makes an appearance.

Thanks again to the ladies who replied to my posts - you don't know how you lifted my flagging spirits by helping me feel "normal".
 

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I had my first miscarriage due to a blighted ovum (never fully develped.) The whole process took about 3 weeks, because my OB honored my intention to let it proceed naturally rather than having a D&C.

At first, I remember noticing some blood... not heavy... not too much. There wasn't a lot of pain or anything... just some spotting.

It stopped for a few days, but my OB told me that it would probably start up again. If it didn't, we'd have to look at a D&C.

The next week I started bleeding more, like a heavy period. There were some period-like cramps, but these were easily managed with advil/motrin. I thought this was the "miscarriage." I was wrong.

The next week on one or two days I had occassional extremely sharp cramping, like in labor. After each episode, when I went to the bathroom, there would be blobs of tissue. Nothing identifiable, but large... say a few inches long.

After that I had a few more days of bleeding and it ended.

Sadly, I started bleeding again last night. I'll know tomorrow if it's another miscarriage.
 

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Thanks to all who have posted here - I just registered in order to get out my thoughts and feelings - I am 99% sure that I miscarried at 6 weeks and 1 day yesterday. It started in the morning as light spotting, kind of brownish, like the last day of my period - and I interviewed with a midwife yesterday (still havent decided on one yet) and she reassured me that it was normal - but to call her if the bleeding got heavier or bright red. Around 6pm I started to get cramps, felt like I was starting my period, and the bleeding started to get heavier, bright red, with some clotting. I called the midwife around 9pm and she said it could be a m/c or could be ok and to go to the hospital if it got really painful or really heavy bleeding. I tried to stay calm and believe that everything would be ok - but i think something inside me knew it wasnt ok. Around 11pm i was getting ready for bed and went to the bathroom and felt a larger than normal clot drop into the toilet. Something made me reach in to investigate further and in the clot i saw a small - pea sized grayish lumpy ball. I feel pretty positive that this was the embryo and that it was a m/c. I continued to have mild cramps and still bleeding (like my usual period flow) throughout the night and this morning. Also, I noticed that my breasts are no longer feeling swollen and tender. I haven't stopped crying since last night - I feel so sad for this loss.
To make things worse, my dh and I were so excited over our first pregnancy that we have told so many people and I am not looking forward to all the "aww, I'm so sorry" comments we are bound to get.
Also, I have 2 sisters who had their first babies in the last year, my SIL is pregnant with her 4th and is due June 10 (2 weeks before my edd of June 21 - we were so excited to be going through pregnancy together) and to top it all off my mom left me a message this morning that my other sister is pregnant (nice timing - huh).
I know that everything happens for a reason and there were probably serious problems with the development- but it still is incredibly sad and hard to take. We got pg so quickly (3 weeks after the wedding) so I am confident that we will conceive again with no problem. And a small part of me thinks - well, maybe it wasnt a m/c - maybe the baby is still there - but then I think it would be silly to get my hopes up.
I am going to call the midwife I saw yesterday and go in for a visit today to confirm and check to make sure everything is ok.
I just wanted to get my story out to help the grieving process.
Thanks to all whose stories helped me to know I'm not alone.
Chelsea
 

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for me I started cramping and then had my heaviest bleeding ever. That was it. On a more positive note, my cycle started again really quickly and I conceived again easily.

Chelsea, It must be hard with all the pregnancies around you. Be prepared that people may say dumb things but not out of malice, just because they don't know what to say. In my humble opinion, it doesn't matter if you were pregnant for a day or full term, whatever depth of loss you feel is real. There are lots of incredible women here that have lots more wisdom than I do, but they can tell you too, that sometimes it helps to give yourself the time to have a little ritual. Light a candle, say a prayer, do whatever seems right to acknowlege what has happened. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't a big deal.

Also!!! don't forget about you. Take extra care, get lots of rest, drink raspberry tea and give yourself a break.

I don't know if these words are helpful, but know that you are not alone.

Abigail
 
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