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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my dd has never been babysat. thought 2 years ago i had personal support worker to play with her and assist me and ds when i was in a wheelchair. at that time i explained to her (she was 2.5) that 'carol' was coming over because we needed help, and we were paying her to help us.<br><br>
now, we met my dh's coworkers daughter, who is 12, asked if we wanted her to babysit dd. the girl is very nice, and dd met with her several times, and they played very nicely.<br><br>
now, dd considers her a 'friend'. while the girl obviosly consideres dd as a potential client. i would want dd to play with the girl, i think it is great for dd. (i don't need babysitting per se, but could afford an hour or two a week. that girl isnt' cheap <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )<br><br>
but i am worried about this kind of a relationship -- that they are not friends, really, and how to explain this to dd.<br><br>
at one point, several months ago, i mentioned to dd that 'kerry' could play with her, if she wanted to, but that we would need to pay for this. dd refused. but she wants to be friends with 'kerry'.<br><br>
what would you do?
 

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Hi there,<br><br>
We use a 16 year old girl for our children. I have known her for about 9 years, and she and Finley are very friendly. I would rather have her babysit Finley than someone who is just there to watch him. She plays with him and he considers her as a "girl friend" but I feel safer to know that while I am away Finley can trust her and know that he is safe while 'playing' with her. I mean would you want your daughter to not trust the person who is babysitting ? Being potential friends allows both to interact and know eachother. I would let Kerry babysit maybe at least try it out and see how it goes and how your daughter likes this idea. But to also remind your DD that while you're gone she is still her friend but you have to listen to her while mommy is out.<br><br><br>
xox Holly
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MommyDearXoX</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6488230"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi there,<br><br>
We use a 16 year old girl for our children. I have known her for about 9 years, and she and Finley are very friendly. I would rather have her babysit Finley than someone who is just there to watch him. She plays with him and he considers her as a "girl friend" but I feel safer to know that while I am away Finley can trust her and know that he is safe while 'playing' with her. I mean would you want your daughter to not trust the person who is babysitting ? Being potential friends allows both to interact and know eachother. I would let Kerry babysit maybe at least try it out and see how it goes and how your daughter likes this idea. But to also remind your DD that while you're gone she is still her friend but you have to listen to her while mommy is out.<br><br><br>
xox Holly</div>
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oh, i do trust Kerry. and the babysitting would be in her house, with one parent there as well.<br><br>
and ada really likes playing with her.<br><br>
but issue is, sort of, that we need to pay for her to be friends, kwim? like buying friendship? i am worried ada will be hurt if she knows that the only way Kerry will play with her, is only if she gets payid, kwim?<br><br>
i mentioned the arrangement once before, and ada was adamant that she didn't want to play with kerry if that meant paying kerry. i think she associated it with having support workers in the past.<br><br>
so i want to bring it up again, but not sure how to do it so that she is not hurt.
 

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I know this one, as a nanny I had this dialogue with children. They asked me why their Mummy had to pay me if I liked playing with them anyway.<br>
I was able to explain it fairly easily by saying that I would have no food to eat if their Mummy didn't pay me, but that I loved them and would play with them sometimes even if I wasn't paid but I wouldn't be able to be with them everyday.<br>
I'm not sure how you can adapt this to your babysitter though, since she's young her parents still pay for things for her and she's not there full time.
 
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