[greyskye]

so my 12 month old really engages herself in public. she wants to nurse but also see what's going on around her.

she pulls of during feedings for a few seconds and then latches back on.

inevitably my breast is exposed momentarily.

this doesnt bother me. it drives my dh crazy.

he thinks i need to be more modest when that happens
ie pull my shirt down when that happens for that period.

he gets uncomfortable if i breastfeed in front of his family (they live across the country) so whether we are at home or at a restaurant with them, it bothers him. probably his family too.

he gets uncomfortable if i breastfeed in front of 'his friends'. especially if there are those moments of less modesty.

i told him i dont think breastfeeding is indecent. that i try to be modest but my little one is an antonomous being and i cant control it if she pulls off for a few seconds.

i told him he could be more proactive to be the one to carry a large napkin or small blanket if he cares so much.

regardless of the dynamics,

do you momentarily get more exposed when you are nip? should i cover up?

im wondering if i am a little mentally off to think it really doesnt matter?

 

[greyskye]

any thoughts?

 

[ameliabedelia]

My baby does this too sometimes. When she pulls off, I usualy just pull my shirt down and keep a hand on it, so I can pull it back up when she wants back on.

 

[Christine&men]

My DS likes to do the same. So I usually turn around and face a wall/corner/away from people. It has the double benefit of keeping him somewhat more focused on the task at hand (ha ha ha).

Also, I have to admit, I do nurse in public but I am a bit squeamish about showing flesh since there are these people out there with their ideas of propriety... And I guess, I am just not brave enough to breastfeed right in their faces (though I wish I were)...

Good luck...

 

[desertpenguin]

I don't think it weird for you not caring. I don't think it weird that your dh cares (although it is sad how much our culture has perpetuated that boobs are inherently sexual in nature and must remain covered.)
I don't use a blanket, and I doubt that your dc will do anything but tear it off. My ds pops off a lot while nursing, particularly when I'm having let down, so I usually use a burp rag to cover my boob lest my ds and anyone else nearby gets a milk bath. :LOL

 

[greyskye]

Quote:

Originally Posted by desertpenguin anyone else nearby gets a milk bath. :LOL

 

[AngelBee]

When I try to use a blanket....my babies always pull it off.

 

[broodymama]

My little guy (9 months) does the same thing, I just don't worry about it. Sure, I notice the nipple and boob hanging out, but I'm looking right down at it, KWIM? I figure for anybody else to notice they are going to have to be looking pretty hard. Maybe your DP just notices it more because he is right there and watching for it when it happens. His buddies and family probably aren't scoping out your chest that hard. Just my $.02

 

[ZeldasMom]

i only have a sec, but i think dh needs to chill (ez 4 me 2 say, i know!). i figure nobody's brain will explode if they see a nipple 4 a second. I do wear nursing shirts and hold the top part close to my nipple so i can whip it down if need be til DS turns his head back. i also seek out lower stim environments when it works out to do so.

you aren't weird!!!

 

[Britishmum]

I dont care, I pull my shirt back and hold it till babe is ready to latch back on, but its no big deal. Dh gets het up but I give him a hard time if he fusses, I refuse to treat NIP as anything otherthan totally natural and non-sexual. I've never seen anyone stare at my inch of naked flesh - people actually take care to not stare. I dont think you're weird. I think people who cover themselves with blankets or hide in bathrooms are the weird ones.

 

[orangebird]

I'm with all y'all. I try not to make it a show but if the kid pops off and there is a moment of skin what can you do. If he doesn't grab back on I lower my shirt a little, cover the nip, until he is ready to grab it again. I agree, most people seem to try really hard not to look. I have hardly seen anyone ever try to look. People make such a big deal about it. I can't stand all the people on TV lately, since the View stuff, talking about how women ought be more discreet and all that. I have never in my life seen women flaunting their breasts around like some of these conservative commentators seem to see everywhere. I wanted to punch Monica Crowly last week. Forget the blanket. I am more uncomfortable when I see someone try to nurse with a blanket, it seems akward and calls even more attention to the act. OK, I hope I'm not offending anyone, I don't know why I am going on and on...

 

[Linda in OZ]

My little one does the same, the slightest noise and she is looking around to make sure she isn't missing out on anything and she is only 3 months! I try to be discreét, but if a bit of flesh sees the light of day then those that are offended shouldn't be gawking in the first place. IMO

Linda

 

[mom2threenurslings]

I think it's impossible to stay completely covered up every second you're nursing / nursling pulls off and I don't see any reason to. It's a nipple. Nipples and breasts are designed for feeding children. Just as I don't think a bottle-feeding mom should have to cover the artificial nipple during a feeding, I don't think a nursing mom should have to cover hers if the child pops off for a look around. (I also don't think it's inappropriate to see a man's nipples...and men are capable of lactation as well, so there really isn't a difference except for the amount of breast tissue we have!)

I'm a large-breasted tandem nursing (and currently 6 months pregnant!) mama. It's nearly impossible for me to tandem nurse in public without showing something at some point....especially when one child is done before the other! :LOL I have no problem being "exposed" for a brief period of time.

IMHO, if you're not uncomfortable, then it's purely your dh's problem and *he* needs to get over it, get used to it, or stop staring at your chest while you nurse!

 

[greyskye]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings it's a nipple. Nipples and breasts are designed for feeding children.

my sentiments.

thanks for all the comments. i try not to let him agitate me. just wanted to make sure i wasnt the only one who sees things this way. that im being logical.

 

[abac]

I'm exposed all the time in public and really couldn't care less. Ds pulls off all the time (14 months) and gets furious if I cover up (he thinks I'm refusing him.) So, I don't really cover up. I might use my hand if people are very close by, but otherwise I don't worry about it. If someone's offended, they can look away. If someone likes what they see, they can look all they want.

 

[BabyBumblebee]

dd does this *all* of the time too - there can't be too many people left in my area who haven't had the chance to have a good look at my nipple now

The only time I cover it up though is when she pops off right after letdown - otherwise I will spray everywhere! Honestly, I don't think there is ever any need to be embarrassed, or feel obliged to cover up - I would much rather that people walking by weren't staring at my chest, but if they are and they happen to catch a glimpse, or more, then good luck to 'em!

 

[fremontmama]

My daughter pulls off all the time to check out whats going on around her too. Most of the time it doesnt bother me, I figure most people really cant see what's going on, and if they can, I guess it is just a chance for me to normalize the image of a woman breastfeeding.... I try not to even give nursing in public a second thought and just treat it as the most normal thing in the world. My husband doesnt have any strong feelings about covering up, but he is pretty mellow. A couple times I have tried to use a blanket to drape over us while nursing (feeling bashful that time I guess), but my dd is kinda fiesty, and she just pulls it right off, she probably thinks we are getting ready to play peek a boo :LOL
Maybe you could tell your husband that probably most people dont even notice your momentarily exposed nipple, and I always feel like my angle of vision of my breast always seems more exposed than a straight on view or side view.... maybe that's something to consider?

 

[kirei]

I usually just cover my nipple with my hand if my baby pops off... and wait for her to turn back to it. Its a natural reflex, actually... and it doesn't bother me to do it. But I also don't expect that when NIP, no one is EVER going to see something.... lol. My nipple is going to see the light of day SOMEWHERE between taking my hand off it, and putting it in dd's mouth. :LOL