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Discussion Starter #1
How long would you put up with this?<br><br>
I've been storing stbx's stuff since 2005, when I asked him to move out. He filed last summer. By "storing" I mean it's just here like he left it. I know he's mentally ill, I know he didn't have a place to move things to until March, I know moving and getting rid of stuff make him incredibly anxious. But I'm sick of looking at his crap. I just want it all out of here. I've cut him off from the shopping habit, where he'd come and take a few things, but I don't see him making any move toward getting a truck and hauling everything away.<br><br>
I'm reluctant to rock the boat, but am not sure that it makes any difference with him -- after all he's convinced I'm abusive and a few colors of evil anyway, and he's already (I think? No papers yet from his lawyer) changed his mind and set the custody fight to ON again.<br><br>
What would you do?
 

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I would pack his stuff up carefully.<br><br>
Then, I'd ask (my) lawyer what the best way to get rid of it is (as in: how/what makes you look best and can't bite you in the ass later): e.g. give him a pick-up deadline, arrange for delivery, etc.?<br><br>
And ask the lawyer what the best way to word whatever notification of whatever you decide to do with it is.<br><br>
Then I'd follow the lawyer's recommendations to the letter.<br><br>
(Of course, I'd be hoping the lawyer would say that I should burn it in a big bonfire, but I know that won't happen. LOL.)
 

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Well, in my case, we agreed that the garage was his until he has somewhere else to put his stuff. It irks me to not have that space to work with, especially since we've now decided that he will stay here when he's not working out of state so I need to give him guest room space for part of the year, but we really can't afford two residences yet.
 

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My stbx askjed me to pack up his stuf its still here<br>
emmotionally its driving me nuts looking at it!<br>
I want my own house, my own space back..<br>
If I get some big money somehow I am hiring movers and storing it...<br>
in my pipe dreams
 

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I would definetly pack it all up and then call your lawyer for advice. But then there's the side of me that would also consider putting the stuff into storage for one month and tell him it's there and that if he doesn't pick it up by x date the storage company takes it.
 

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If you could somehow manage it, I'd recommend packing it up and delivering it to him.<br><br>
But I also heartily agree that speaking to your lawyer and getting his/her input would be best.<br><br>
If worse comes to worse, you could rent a storage space for a few months until the divorce goes throuh, but that could be a bit pricey. I'm not sure how you are financially.<br><br>
Good Luck! It would drive me insane "storing" stuff for an ex <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: no matter how well I got along with them. I like to have my space for my needs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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I like the idea of asking your lawyer first. I think you should be able to write some sort of certified letter letting him know that if it is not picked up by a certain date that it will be donated to goodwill. You've given him more than enough time to come and get it, it's not mean to demand that the stuff is removed, you're not a storage facility!
 

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I gave my xh a written notice that he had 30 days to clear out my garage. it was filled 8 ft deep with his crap. I waited 60 days then sent him a final notice. I kept copies of each letter. I rented a dumpster and had friends come help me clear it out at about 9 days.
 

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If so, how about giving them a jingle, see if they're willing to accept the storing of it? Or, start boxing it, labeling as you can, letting him know your progress, putting some heat under his arse to take some action, and if he does nothing, maybe getting one of those sheds to put it all in, so it's at least not IN the house. Maybe a shed at his parent's house. Good luck.<br><br>
VF
 

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Honestly, take the total high road.<br>
Pack it up, itemize it, inventory, take it to a storage unit, pay one to three month's rent, put his name on it.. as in authorized access.<br><br>
Put a copy of the itemized list, copy of rental agreement, the date of renewal highlighted, with the key or combo to the lock, send it out to him signature receipted.<br><br>
That way.. you no longer have it at your home, you have sent him notice, you have paid the rent on a storage unit for X amount of time, and you look squeaky clean in court... if it goes that far. (and he looks like a flake if he lets it go)
 

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Discussion Starter #12
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>boobybunny</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7935121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Honestly, take the total high road.<br>
Pack it up, itemize it, inventory, take it to a storage unit, pay one to three month's rent, put his name on it.. as in authorized access.<br><br>
Put a copy of the itemized list, copy of rental agreement, the date of renewal highlighted, with the key or combo to the lock, send it out to him signature receipted.<br><br>
That way.. you no longer have it at your home, you have sent him notice, you have paid the rent on a storage unit for X amount of time, and you look squeaky clean in court... if it goes that far. (and he looks like a flake if he lets it go)</div>
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</tr></table></div>
Great solutions all, but I think boobybunny wins the prize. Still a PITA, but all in all not that expensive, it's still his problem, and high road is the name.<br><br>
Hooray! After the semester's over....Wow, the space I'll have in here.
 
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