[E_Ganderson]

My oldest DS has been somewhat of an early bloomer the last few years. When he was 13 he began shaving his moustache area and over the course of the last few months, his sideburns have begun to lengthen and darken and he's now sprouting hairs under his chin. He's asked me whether he can grow his facial hair out, but I don't know whether that is really appropriate...I mean he's 14 and still in middle school for god's sake. I feel like he's growing up too fast...what's more worrisome is DS is starting to grow chest hair in the center of his chest, and above his navel which is odd because his father is not a hairy guy.

What doesn't help is younger DS is scared of all these changes, which he's just starting himself. Is it appropriate to let my son grow his facial hair?? Doesn't 14 seem really young to be developing chest hair already? My baby has grown up too fast...

 

[MusicianDad]

SOme guys are just naturally hairy. Personally I feel that as long as it's not against school dress code, whether to grow his facial hair out is his choice.

 

[cicatrix]

I started developing body hair around 8. My little brother was around 10. Both of us are hairy hairy people (my little brother has been able to have a beard since he was twelve and gave up on shaving when he was around 14 because it irritated his v. sensitive skin too much). Our father is hairy. Our mother? Hairless wonder, as is my younger sister. So I don't think it's gendered as much as genetics in general.

We all developed early though, but I wouldn't consider 14 too young for either body hair or a beard. But, like I said, i've been hairy since I was 8 and my little brother looks like he's got a rug on his chest and has looked like that since he was in his early teens. I'm just happy that neither of us freak out about it and feel overly sensitive about it. It helps that our father is a hairy hairy guy, my partner has a beard and we grew up with men and women of all states of hairiness.

Mind you, bringing partners home always had moments of hilarity when my little brother came out to the pool with the rug chest while most of the guys I've dated haven't had much hair/grew it in late...

 

[purslaine]

It is totally his choice whether to shave or not.

I do not think 14 is too young for body hair at all....but even if it was, it would still be his choice whether to shave or not.

I do hear you on how fast time flies with kids - my almost 13 year old has a little moustache and is 5 foot 10!!

Kathy

 

[amnesiac]

I have 13 year old twins - one is pretty hairy (both facial and body) & he started shaving the beginning of this year but the other only has a few pit hairs. I think that there's a huge variation of what is normal for that at this age. I wouldn't have a problem with it if he didn't want to shave except that their school dress code doesn't allow facial hair & their principal has been known to send boys home to shave.

 

[SandraS]

My fourteen year old is also "hairy". I left it up to him, it's his body and his natural hair. He keeps a neatly trimmed patch on his chin (what's that called? LOL! It's not a little one -I hate those - it's almost like a goatee without the mustache) and I'm fine with it.

 

[Ruthla]

IMO, a young man or woman old enough to grow hair is old enough to make decisions regarding that hair. So, I'd let an 8yo shave her legs if the leg hair was bothering her, and I'd let a 14yo boy grow out his facial hair if he wanted to do so (even if I'd prefer to see him clean shaven.)

I don't see how this affects your younger son. Either he's upset about "growing up and getting a beard" or he's upset about "growing up and having to shave." DS1's decisions about his own body shouldn't be limited by what his younger brother might think.

I'm having similar issues with DD2 and menstruation- she hears me and DD1 discussing some of the nitty gritty details (mostly answering DD1's questions and offering her practical advice) and most definitely does NOT want to go through it! However, none of us can stop her from growing up.

 

[orangefoot]

My ds1 is 15 and has been shaving a bit to keep it down for more than a year. He isn't wanting to keep growing his hair on purpose but he can't be bothered to shave more often than every couple of weeks so it does get a bit wispy looking. When his chin starts too look really hairy and his moustache is curling round he gets tha razor out!

Both my boys are very dark haired and ds2 is growing a good moustache now at not quite 12yo. Their dad is hairy, my dh is also pretty hairy so hairy men are not odd to them.

 

[mommy68]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad SOme guys are just naturally hairy. Personally I feel that as long as it's not against school dress code, whether to grow his facial hair out is his choice.

I agree. I'd check the school dress code/rule book on that kind of thing.

 

[Marsupialmom]

It is up to him to choose to shave or not.............imagine you being 14 and told to shave or not to.

 

[enkmom]

My own son was rather a late bloomer, but several boys in his class started shaving in 7th or 8th grade. They went to parochial school, and beards were not "dress code" in elementary school. Beards were popular once they went to high school (9th grade), and those unable to grow one were envious of those who could. I might have opinions on whether or not my own son should grow a beard, but the decision would have been up to him.

My son will be 19 in April, and has been blessed (or cursed) with a baby face. His beard takes sooo long to grow that the few times he has attempted to grow one he looks like a kid with a dirty face! He usually gets sick of the comments and shaves after a week or so.

 

[onelilguysmommy]

im a girl, i had all the puberty brought hair at 8. my kids dad had it all did at 13 and had a completely full beard and all the rest totally full before 15, full chest, and belly and everything. he doesnt look like a bear, but hes definitely got a ton of it.

i dont see how or why it should be against school anything thats wrong! i mean geez...!!
i dont think its young, the kids i knew at that age who didnt have it i thought were odd but maybe that me and most kids i knew who had their hair before that? (and that i liked it, lol...ive been with him somehow since i was 14, and my bf before him i tried to convince to not shave, hes blonde its not like it showed much :sigh: he was 13 when he got all his, too. ) but anyway..!!

if its scary maybe get your younger ds some info and show him that its normal an normal for the age or whatever?
im not sure, i knew guys who were like "yeah im hairy!" and a few who wished they were but not too many who didnt want it except a couple of gay guys who said it would screw up their appeal to the girl buddies but theyre weird. so what im trying to say is im not sure so much what to say about it if ones scared... im hoping none of mine are because neither of us noe anyone in our families were late with the whole puberty thing so i assume im going to be in your shoes in a few years!...