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I have been going through an incredibly rough time with the ending of my marriage and all the fallout of that. The counsellor I've been seeing has really helped and I am continuing to see her. We've touched on abuse in my past (about my first marriage and an assault when I was 16) but haven't gone into detail about it. We've talked about the fact I don't have memories between about 4 years old and 16 years old. She really feels that, when I'm ready, we should talk specifically about the abuse. There are things I haven't ever told anyone, I mean, one friend knew I was assaulted but even with her I didn't ever tell her what happened. I don't know if I can. My counsellor says it will really help, that I need to deal with the emotions around the assault. I am so scared to talk about it, to remember it, I've spent the last eighteen years trying to forget it. I know, cognitively, that I need to talk about it and deal with it if I want to get healthier but I am really really scared. I'm so raw and hurting right now I'm afraid to open the door to more hurt flooding back.<br>
I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice, or just a hug or just to talk to people who have been through it
 

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Recovering repressed memories is really tough, and can wipe you out for weeks at a time. I do feel it benefited me, and I am grateful now that I went through that. It can be extremely testing though. I am so glad you have a good counsellor. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I have talked about some stuff online. I've talked about a few things with my DH. I confided in a friend back when things happened. But I have never ever ever told anyone the whole story, I've never shared the details, I just keep trying and trying to forget, but I never forget, and it always comes back at the most unexpected times (like the past few weeks, despite no obvious triggers) and I know that someday I will probably need to face it & talk in detail. I guess I'm saying I would encourage you to take the time to do that NOW, while you have someone you're already seeing and already trust... but I can't take my own advice so I feel like I really shouldn't talk. Whatever you decide, it's YOUR choice whether, when, and how much to talk about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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It's hard to look at something ugly that we have put a great deal of time and energy into forgetting. I'm in the process of doing this with my counselor too. It is your choice, but if you trust your counselor and you have a healthy patient/doctor relationship with her, then hopefully you can trust her to lead you there a little at a time so that you don't have to relive the whole thing. Sending you healing and strength. You can get through this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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