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I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! But you know, a lot of his behavior sounds very typical of a 3-month-old. He could be teething, GERD, growth spurt, any number of things, the bottom line is it makes life hell for you right now.

I do have a couple of small suggestions that I hoped might help you!

1. Slinging - you said DS doesn't like the sling. What positions have you tried? Some babies don't like the cradle hold, so you might want to try the snuggle hold or the kangaroo. Also, make sure you get moving right after you put him in the sling. Babies, especially at that age, do NOT like you to be sitting still while in the sling, espeically at first. Stick him in there and start moving around and doing stuff. If he tolerates it, try to put him in there and go out somewhere like the mall which will really soothe and distract him. The snuggle hold is great.

2. Putting down to sleep - Dr. Sears had some great, simple advice. When you're trying to put your baby to sleep, and they wake as soon as you put them down, then wait longer before putting them down. Nurse him to sleep (orwhatever you normally do), and wait until he's asleep, and then wait a bit longer, until he gets to the limp-limb phase.
His muscles should all be relaxed, no twitching, etc. I can tell when DS is in this phase because his head falls back and his mouth opens slightly. THEN you can gently put them down and it's hard to wake them up doing so.

That is all of the advice I have, other than hang in there! It really does sound like the little guy might be going through a growth spurt. I don't think you should put too much pressure on yourself to do things a certain way. I think a lot of parents go through a really tough time and then they realize, hey, I need to do whatever is going to get me through this! My DS wakes up several times a night at 7 months still (he slept much better at 3 months) and I came to realize, hey, I don't care if this guy falls asleep on me, if we cosleep, WHATEVER, as long as I get some goshdarn sleep! I don't really care anymore if I'm cultivating certain habits I'll regret later, or if I'm not doing things like I planned (or like I promised DH, which is to have DS in the crib).

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I think time will be the best remedy for the situation!
 
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