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ok; if I put ds to bed it takes about an hour of nursing/lying-in-the-dark-pretending-I'm-asleep. I obviously don't mind nursing; I get the impression I'm doing something... but the 45 odd minutes of lying-in-the-dark-pretending-I'm-asleep I could really live without. I end up feeling pretty resentful; because the evening is the only me time I have (dh works long hours). But if dh put ds to bed, it takes him, I kid not, 10 minutes max. HOWEVER, ds spends the first 3 minutes (I timed it
: ) crying and calling me, which really kills me because normally I go to him as soon as he calls. But I know dh rocks him to sleep; or rubs his back; it's not like he's totally CIO; I just feel bad about it.
So what's everybody's take on this? Ds traumatized for life; or do you think he'll survive with minimal psychological trauma
?
 

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i think he'll survive - change is difficult for anyone - 3 min. of fussing with his ds isn't going to traumatize him...IMO. i do the pretend fall asleep thing too. sometimes it annoys me and other times i don't mind at all...usu. when it takes under 30 minutes! my dh isn't usu. home to put ds to sleep so he isn't really an option...on the bright side, ds (21 mos) just started spontaneously sleeping through the night and going to sleep a lot faster...i don't know what gives - i haven't done anything differently!

anyway, it sounds like things are fine...you know the cry that you can't stay away from - it doesn't sound like it's that one!
 

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I can definitely relate. I just got up from lying there until my son fell asleep. I'm starting to try different things, changing his bedtime, naptime, etc. to see if that will help. When I put him down for a nap, he nurses 15 to 20 minutes and he's out. I don't know what gives with bedtime though. Plus, he wakes at least four times a night to nurse. I'm doing some research on Bach flower remedies, if I found out anything that might help, I'll pass the info. on. Or, if anyone knows anything that might help I would appreciate the help.
 

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I don't think crying in the arms of a loving parent is anything at all like CIO. If DH can get him to sleep quickly, I say go for it - I've certainly been there with those marathon bedtimes and it's awful.

It sounds like, in time, your DS will get used to the idea that Daddy is there and he'll be just fine.
 
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