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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DW and I are thinking of having some sort of Family Formation Ceremony just after the second parent adoption is finalized. We've been togeter almost 9 years now. We never had any sort of commitment ceremony, and it seems strange for us to do that now, but we definitely want to do something with our friends and family present to sort of publicly acknowledge that we are a family and both the mother of our child. Sort of a commitment/adoption ceremony.<br><br>
Just wondering if anyone else has done this, or plans to in the future? I can't come up with a suitable name for this ceremony. I want it to equally emphasize our commitment to each other, and our commitment to the child. Any name ideas, Ceremony ideas, Good resources for this sort of thing?<br><br>
Thanks!<br>
Pranava
 

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Pranava, I think this is a beautiful idea! You could model it after a wedding with the components changed to suit your needs.<br><br>
I liked Family Formation Ceremony but here are some others I thought of:<br>
Family Commitment Ceremony<br>
Family Uniting (or Unity) Ceremony<br>
Family Conception Ceremony<br>
Family Commitment Dedication
 

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We just baptized our little one, and at the same time we did two more things -<br>
joined as a family, and asked several other adults to act as Maggie's mentors in areas they were passionate about - i.e. cooking, science, hunting, children's lit. We read a couple of quotes - one on marriage and one one children, and thanked everyone for supporting our lives together.<br><br>
We called it the <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/frannyo/sets/72157601844514034/" target="_blank">Yay! We're a Family!</a> party. But we're casual like that.
 

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Unity Ceremony has a nice ring to it in my mind <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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This is soo amazing, I feel as if y'all are in my head!! But I know that is not the case and it is that I finally found a community that is struggling with identical issues and thinking of similar solutions! Yeah for QP MDC!<br>
DP and I have been talking about this since December (when we set a date to start TTCing) We live in Mass, but neither of us feel exactly right about marriage, we're anarchist for pete's sake and involving the state just doesn't sit right with us. But at the same time it just didn't seem right that we would miss out on all the rituals (and presents).<br>
We recently agreed on a "Family Formation Fiesta" and DP has been begging for the invitations to read "Fun Family Formation Fiesta"--Can you tell we love alliteration?<br><br>
Anyway we decided it would fulfill the need for both wedding and baby shower. As anti-capitalists we have decided that it will be a "green" gift giving event. We will ask for people to give gifts of hand-made or second hand gifts, or if they are really put off by that they can give us "green" cash<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">---We will set up an email list for our friends and family to communicate who is giving what (to eliminate duplicates)--DIY registry!!<br><br>
So those are our thoughts!!
 

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I think it is a marvellous idea -- well, all the ideas that have been expressed thus far!<br>
On a slightly different slant, my DP & I decided that we wanted to wait to get married til our kids could be there and appreciate and celebrate our family together. While we refer to it as a marriage, for us it will be a celebration of our family (parents & kids), and commitment to & celebration of all of us.<br>
To me this doesn't, in theory, sound any different from pranava's idea.<br>
I should add a little note of interest here... I have some Norwegian heritage, and apparently there is is more uncommon to get married without your kids there. I don't quite understand the logic behind it, but when family tries to say that it is tradition to get married first, have kids second, they know I can use our Norwegian heritage to support our decision to wait to get 'married' and use the time to celebrate more than the commitment between the 2 of us, but between all of us.<br><br>
Have a blast celebrating your family!!!
 

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I love you guys! Yes, I've been thinking about this too. While I'm not exactly partnered (I'd say girlfriended...), I do want to have a ceremony to mark baby's entry, and the commitment of my various friends and family to his/her life. I've been calling it a welcoming party, and, if I get pregnant soon enough, want to have it in P-town during family week next summer.<br><br>
Hmm, maybe we can plan an MDC Queer-TTC reunion for that week too!
 

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I forgot to mention that we specifically said "no gifts!" but of course people brought them anyway. Even though I'm completely lazy about getting gifts for other people's kids, I really did appreciate that for some people, that's their way of appreciating us and showing us how excited they are for us. So I just let it be.<br><br>
Our party was super simple, in our home, wife made most of the food and we had one person to help cater/clean up. I think our friends/family were more comfortable celebrating us outside of a wedding setting, which is a little bit their issue but whatev, we wanted it to not be a political thing.
 

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We're intending on doing something similar too - we've been tossing up between doing a baby shower before bub arrives or a naming ceremony after but have decided to go with a variation of both. I want the presents and the recognition dammit! Everyone else gets it - I've no doubt my sister will have herself a $50,000 wedding one day soon and an elaborate baby shower soon after that - I just want a little backyard bash with a few gifts thrown in for good measure. So we're going to have a small baby shower and a great big family naming celebration too.<br><br>
Now we've just got to agree on what to do with our surnames...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
So many great ideas from everyone! It's good to know that so many of us are thinking about and planning the same type of thing. I think I like Unity Ceremony for the name - Kudos to BurtsGirl!<br><br>
And I agree with you MujerMamaMismo, I want just a bit of the pomp and circumstance my sister had at both of her weddings and baby showers. Sometimes that makes me feel a little juvenile and jealous, but I just want to know that my family is as respected as any other "normal" family.
 

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This is totally cool... I thought about doing this, then the reality of parenhood descended on me and I haven't slept through the night in over 2 years!<br>
Some of the things that I considered were looking at wedding and baby-welcoming ceremonies from Jewish (my background) and Catholic (DP's) traditions. I would have wanted to take literagy that felt comfortable to us that had some tradition behand it and that would have made both our families connect with what we were trying to do.<br>
But, now, we have been together 11 years, have a 2 year old and are 9 1/2 years into a 30 year mortgage... I go back and forth about whether a formal ceremony is just redundant. Anyway, maybe once I get to sleep, I'll get more inspired - or maybe it will be something that DS wants us to do at some point.<br>
Congratulations!
 
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