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I've mentioned the idea of homeschooling to my mom and she surprised me by really supporting my ideas.<br><br>
I told her my latest theory on how what matters is that my kids learn how to read and do math (there MUST be a better term, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) without hating either one--nobody is going to know when they're 25 how old they were when they learned to do it, but if they learn to hate it (like I did) that will be obvious.<br><br>
We've discussed socialization. I had this friend in high school whose mom homeschooled and my mom was always so negative about their lack of socialization for their kids. But when I've discussed it, I told her about the local homeschool group and said that I would put the kids in lessons that interest them with other children, and pointed out that DS already has tons of friends without school. (We go to LLL, I have friends with kids, we go to stuff at our local mosque, etc. etc.) that wouldn't change when he's 5.<br>
AND...........she actually AGREED with my point that if I homeschooled, I would ALWAYS know his friends and their parents the way I do now, whereas if he went to public school, I wouldn't know who he plays with at recess or who this kid is that sent home the b-day invite, etc.<br>
(she did eventually say that her issue with those other people we knew was how they moved out to a little town and never seemed to be involved with ANYTHING with their kids...I said I'd never be like that, and she knows I'm not, it's just not who I am.)<br><br>
What have you told family (including your spouse/SO/whatever) that got them supporting you?
 

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I've always wanted to homeschool. I've known that since I was younger. My parents are very supportive of it. My mom, a public school teacher, even said that if for some reason I am unable to homeschool (like I HAVE to go back to work) "we will get her into a private school." I apperciate that she cares enough to help us out like that.<br><br>
DH has always respected my ideas about childcare (we talked about them before we even got engaged since I already had somewhat idea about what I wanted to do, like be a SAHM and homeschool). He sees how much research I do before I do just about everything so he knows I make educated decisions.
 

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My ILs only found out about it when I decided to stop hiding our intentions and sent them the link to my blog (I was sending it to other family/friends so that I wouldn't have to do an update in email anymore). They said absolutely nothing about it which means that they disapprove but have decided (wisely) to keep their mouths shut about it.<br><br>
My parents/siblings don't have a problem with it as I hs my younger sister in addition to my kids.<br><br>
My extended family and the extended family of dh will likely not approve either. I don't care. I spent a LOT of time (years) researching and reading and now that my kids are 3 and 2 I feel confident in what I'm doing. They are learning and loving it and I love it and that's all that matters. If a family member wants to do the research and then talk, I'm willing. But if they just want to voice their opinions and expect me to spout off statistics and such to them, they've got another think coming <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> b/c I have no interest in that.<br><br>
However, I have the feeling that they are holding off their disapproval until kindergarten age which gives me a year and a half. I think that they probably think this is a stage and that by the time age 5 hits I'll have some sense knocked into me. Hopefully by that time they'll see how the boys are growing and learning just fine and they'll change their opinions, or continue keeping the bad ones to themselves <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zakers_mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984310"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What have you told family (including your spouse/SO/whatever) that got them supporting you?</div>
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Nothing. I will answer questions if they are asked but I refuse to defend my decision. My kids, My decision. I do not need their approval.
 

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These were the FIRST reactions I got from various family members. Over the years, support has increased dramatically, But at first, I heard:<br><br>
My mom: "You'll change your mind. Once the kids are five, you will want them out of your hair."<br><br>
My dad: "Good for you. Pass the pie."<br><br>
My sister in the Bible Belt: "You are doing God's work."<br><br>
Another sibling: "Why don't you just move to a better school district?"<br><br>
Another sibling: "What about testing?"<br><br>
My high-school niece: "Thank goodness! I don't want my little cousins going to school. It's awful!"
 

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To summarize ...<br><br>
My husband, when we were dating: But what about socialization?<br>
Me: You mean the kind of socialization where jocks threw you into lockers and popular girls made fun of my hair?<br>
Him: Oh. Right. Let's homeschool.<br><br>
My dad: Good!<br>
My mom: It sounds like a lot of work, are you sure you can handle it?<br>
My brother: Good!<br><br>
My MIL: But what about prom? Aren't they going to be missing out? Won't it make them weird?<br>
My FIL: Do you really think you're qualified to teach them?<br>
(OK, seriously. Between the two of us we average an 800 SAT-M. He runs a computer business from home, I'm the news editor at a daily newspaper. I have studied six languages, have two college degrees, and have written three novels. We own over 4,000 books. I know how to sew, knit, garden, and cook from scratch. And we're <b>not qualified</b>?)<br><br>
Haven't heard yet what my SILs think, but I'm curious.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pookel</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7986616"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My MIL: But what about prom? Aren't they going to be missing out? Won't it make them weird?</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Yes, make your kids go to public school for years so that on that one night of prom, they can fit it and not be weird. Wow.<br><br>
Sorry, I meant to just lurk as I'm planning to HS but no kids yet....<br>
But that comment just blew my mind!
 

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My dh's family was a little iffy. They made some comments and asked some questions that I found slightly insulting. They put some questions into dh's head as well, but... Now that we're doing it and so busy with it, he loves to tell his parents about what the kids are up to with homeschooling. Also, he's gotten his coworkers into it and they tell him things like "man, your kids are always doing stuff!" and then he gets to talk about homeschooling and how fun/cool it is. So, he is really proud that we're homeschooling.<br><br>
My brother did ask about the socialization...of course. I reminded him that he used to skip school and break into people's houses with his school buddies....not exactly what he wanted to be reminded of, but he did ask for it.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Lisa
 

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My father, a heathen fiscal and social conservative, and my mother a religious social liberal, are both expremely supportive and always have been. My MIL thinks I am the best mother who ever lived. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> She was all for it. Believe me, I know this makes it much easier, just in general. Nobody quizzes the kids, either, which I thought for sure my father might do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>UUMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7992158"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My father, a heathen fiscal and social conservative</div>
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Does my dad have a second family I never knew about? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">
 

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Aside from the first shocked response (which was awful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ) my family has been fine. My Dad is a huge supporter of homeschooling, even before I began to consider it. My Mom was worried that her grandkids were going to spend 6 hours a day trapped at the kitchen table, once she figured out that wasn't the plan, she is all for it. My brother and sister don't completely get it, but they know that we get to make this call for our kids. My brother is concerned that my kids will be too dependent on us, but thats more about 10 years from now than today (my oldest is 6), so its just something we debate, not anything I have hard feelings about. My sister is concerned that it is too hard on me, and, quite frankly, sometimes it is, but having my older kids in school would be hard sometimes too.<br><br>
My husband has a cousin who has homeschooling for years, and because of her, my ILs were thrilled that we wanted to homeschool. Unfortunately my MIL passed away before my kids were school-aged, but I never got to find out how she (a former teacher) would feel about our relaxed approach. The rest of my ILs aren't interested in the details.<br><br>
ZM
 

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my in laws thought I was nuts, about time they realized that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
my mother homeschooled us so she and my dad were totally on board, until they found out I wasn't going to use a boxed sit at the table 4 hours a day curriculum. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> My mom has always said "unschoolers don't do anything"<br><br>
Guess I am out to prove her wrong. We do use some curriculum (Oak Meadow this coming year) but I would say most of our schooling is done in unschool mode and curriculum just tends to give me some idead, guidance. Like this year we used Sonlight but some days we would do 10 pages of science cause my son was really into it (and skip everything else) and other days math was what he wanted to do.<br><br>
So I guess I don't really fit any camp <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> and everyone thinks I'm crazy. But hey it works for us and I can handle peoples ignorance <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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My dh is usually 100% supportive in any decision I make. With homeschooling he had "reservations" about it - not about my ability to homeschool or that it would be so better for dd, but he thought I would be overwhelmed since I could barely keep up with housework as it was. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> But now (2 yrs later) he's probably more of a homeschool advocate than I am.<br><br>
My mom was my sounding board for all the crap dd went through in school, so she thought it was a great idea from the start.<br><br>
My sister also thought it was really cool and what a great education you can have just living in our city.<br><br>
My step-sister never said anything about dd being homeschooled (no, I mean really nothing), but went on to my mom a few months ago about how sorry she feels for my ds that he doesn't get to go to school and have friends. My son went to preschool for 2 years and even though was friendly with all the kids, really only liked 1 or 2 kids well enough to get together outside of school. Now he's got at least a dozen real friends that he gets to spend time playing with for hours a few times a week. The sitting-next-to-but-can't-talk-to-because-we'll-get-in-trouble-but-maybe-we-can-play-together-for-15-minutes-after-lunch "friends" we all had at school can't compare to the kind of friendships he has now.<br><br>
MIL thought it was a terrible idea and truly thought I was out of my mind. I talked to her at length about it, she stared blankly at me, and 2 years later she just never mentions it. It's like she pretends it's not true. On the very rare occasion she watches my kids (she lives across the street and we see her maybe once a month) she asks where their books are and what pages should they be doing. ZM said:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zeldamomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7996679"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My Mom was worried that her grandkids were going to spend 6 hours a day trapped at the kitchen table,<br>
ZM</div>
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My MIL expects and prefers my kids to be trapped at the table for 6 hours. If she has no test grades or honor roll accomplishments or school sport winnings from her grandkids to brag to her friends about, she's not happy. The fact that my dd is a platinum-award-winnning competitive dancer means nothing.<br><br>
All 3 of my SILs gave me that "are you kidding?" face, and always ask if we're "still doing that". My BILs just avoid the subject.<br><br>
I've given up trying to please anyone. No one can convince me homeschooling isn't the best thing out there. I have learned to prove my point by example, rather than by conversation.
 

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DH is always 100% behind my "different" ideas right away. He knows I research them and don't pull the out of the air. He has been very supportive. When I was wavering about putting them back in school, he was the one that said(reminded me) HS is the better route.<br><br>
My mom literally cried when I told her. I had to write her a letter informing her b/c I knew she would not take kindly to the news. She was on my case big time just for not letting my DDs ride the school bus for the 4 mos they were in PS. (I finally let them ride it home the last month they were in school.) She has gotten used to the idea now that it has been 2.5 yrs, but she would still do a happy dance if I was to put them back in school tomorrow. We have learned not to broach the subject w/ each other unless absolutely necessary.<br><br>
The rest of the family says pretty much nothing. They know not to get into it w/ me, I think. They never question any of my "different" choices...to my face.<br><br>
Gotta run!
 
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