Father's Day

I get cards and sweet sentiments of her own creation from my 8 yo dd frequently. Her view of her father is a fantasy, based on very limited firsthand knowledge, and her involvement with certain wonderful men in our lives where she enjoys a taste of surrogate fathering, and where she observes how good fathers are with their children. Mostly her girlfriends' fathers, a couple of my brothers... loosely. I think she kind of mixes the two together, her fantasy of her dad, and these real men, and that's how she handles it. She is defensive about her father if I should happen to ever step on the toes she has sculpted for him in her mind. they take up space in our lives, and I understand that. "My father would throw a baseball with me if he were here."

Well, he wouldn't. He hasn't, and he won't. I go out and throw the baseball with her. I lift her into the air and spin her around (a 58 pound kid four feet tall...). A girl needs to be lifted up and spun around like a man would do, she needs to feel that danger/trust thrill that dads give children while simultaneously usually scaring the crap out of their moms. I do that stuff. I'm 50 next month, and I have only one seeing eye (You try spinning with one eye! It takes major concentration.) But, I'm not her father, I'm not a man. I'm SUPERHUMAN Momma! I should get a card for that.

But, I'll take the one I found on the table this morning: "You are so special to me," on the cover. "Dear Mom, I love you Mom," on the inside. It's all hearts and stars, in a heart shaped, fourpage spread. It's Monday.

VF