While in a sense I'm "playing both roles" I am a Mama, not a Dad. I think that Father's Day is a
day we should make special for those who are our Dad's, not just biologically, but in our heart.
Today the children made gifts for Father's Day at Sunday School. My dd wrote Pap-Pap really big
on hers and was so proud to present it to my Dad. She already celebrated my role in her life on
Mother's Day. I don't need two days, even if I do sometimes play two roles.
I'm spoiled. I get a Fathers Day present every year. From my mother
: . My ds1's father never had anything to do with him other than the sperm involved. Ds2's father really isn't knocking himself out trying to be a father either. Yes, I think single moms should get Fathers Day cards, they are being both parents at the same time.
I get cards and sweet sentiments of her own creation from my 8 yo dd frequently. Her view of her father is a fantasy, based on very limited firsthand knowledge, and her involvement with certain wonderful men in our lives where she enjoys a taste of surrogate fathering, and where she observes how good fathers are with their children. Mostly her girlfriends' fathers, a couple of my brothers... loosely. I think she kind of mixes the two together, her fantasy of her dad, and these real men, and that's how she handles it. She is defensive about her father if I should happen to ever step on the toes she has sculpted for him in her mind. they take up space in our lives, and I understand that. "My father would throw a baseball with me if he were here."
Well, he wouldn't. He hasn't, and he won't. I go out and throw the baseball with her. I lift her into the air and spin her around (a 58 pound kid four feet tall...). A girl needs to be lifted up and spun around like a man would do, she needs to feel that danger/trust thrill that dads give children while simultaneously usually scaring the crap out of their moms. I do that stuff. I'm 50 next month, and I have only one seeing eye (You try spinning with one eye! It takes major concentration.) But, I'm not her father, I'm not a man. I'm SUPERHUMAN Momma! I should get a card for that.
But, I'll take the one I found on the table this morning: "You are so special to me," on the cover. "Dear Mom, I love you Mom," on the inside. It's all hearts and stars, in a heart shaped, fourpage spread. It's Monday.