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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know that at any one time, with children in a home, that parents find it hard to clean their homes, or even keep them clutter free. However, my ex moved into his house this way (our old home) and never unpacked his boxes. With his dumpster diving and refusing to let go of anything he owns, the place is a big stinking mess. The bathtub has yuck all over it, don't know what it is, and the kitchen is full of boxes, hardly room to put something down. I am sure if the fire marshall ever saw his house, it would be considered unsafe. The whole house outright stinks. I worry about my ds going over there to spend parenting time with his dad, when there is no place to sit, the table is covered over with boxes, and the sofa is blocked by boxes. I have never seen a home look this way. BTW, X has ocd.<br><br>
Is there a way to prove his home is this way?
 

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Any way you can get pictures?<br><br>
If it is unsafe for your dc to be in your ex's house I wouldn't allow him to go. Do you have an attorney? You could give your ex the option of having visitation somewhere else and if he doesn't agree then explain to him that you will not allow dc in his home until it is safe.
 

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Its called hoarding disorder. Edited to add: Folks with ocd often have this as well.<br><br><br>
My mom has it. When I visited last, there is a path from the kitchen to the livingroom. Where there is a tiny place to sit in front of the TV and path to the bathroom and bedroom. All else, every surface is covered. There is canned food on the floor, old toiletries in the bathroom. It gets worse when she is stressed. Your ex probably is expressing his anxiety this way.<br><br>
So you are probably asking why I don't do anything about it? My dad has tried to no avail. She won't speak to her sisters now because they have tried. She won't do therapy or anything. Always going to clean it out next week but is too busy when next week comes.<br><br>
Unless he recognizes the problem, he won't "see it" if you see what I mean. You may need to get custody involved - ie - if he doesn't get help, dc can't come there. Its definitely a mental disorder, not just laziness....good luck. I have been trying for years.
 

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I would try to take pics, either with a camera phone or a small camera. It is unsafe to have a child in those conditions. Period. Help someone to see what you do there. That is dangerous for everyone involved. I can only but imagine the fumes that this stuff must give off. Yuck!
 

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Yeah, I limit how often we take dd there. I always have to set things up so we wind up meeting other places (she lives in MD, I live in IL) when I visit because I refuse to take dd there and dd is uncomfortable there.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s and stand your ground.
 

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Pics won't be admissable in court. We tried that one. Call CPS, if it is dangerous for the children they'll make him clean it up and will document it for you, and THAT is admissable in court.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Perhaps a photo is enough to get CPS involved? Is it just a phone call or do THEY need proof before bombarding his life with visits (not that I am bothered by that!).
 
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