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<p>I normally went to midwives until my beloved midwive's practice closed down.  After a lot of hunting I found a group of OBs I felt comfortable with-- 2 nice women and a man in one practice.</p>
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<p>i have to say everyone was nothing but kind to me during this whole experience (heavy bleeding early in pregnancy, subchorionic hemorrhage, being told there was no heartbeat two months later, D&C).  At the hospital I was told to go back to the dr in 2 weeks.</p>
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<p>However as my emotions are right now there is no way I could even drive past a hospital or the OB's clinic much less actually walk into one!  Even the thought of being near an OB right now is too much for me.</p>
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<p>I feel like they put me through a lot of scare, being sent to specialists for scans concerning the SH, early in pregnancy when there is nothing they can do anyway except tell me to "take it easy," doing ultrasounds every week at times (they have a machine in the office), and all for nothing-- my baby died and is gone.  It would have been the same outcome if they had just sent me packing and told me to come back in a few months.</p>
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<p>Logically I KNOW they were doing their best, never had bad intentions, gave me the best care they knew how, and truly are good hearted people, but honestly just the thought of going back into the office or being subjected to another pregnancy-related test or scan is unbearable.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"> I go unassisted with my pregnancies/births/losses but I used to go the medical route. You have choices, there are options out there. I wouldn't be too concerned about dealing with it right now though; those feeling could change quickly and the follow-up with the doctor is totally your call. </span></p>
 

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<p>I wasn't thinking about it when I made an appointment to see my nurse practitioner on the year anniversary of my loss.  Until I had a panic attack and completely broke down in the office.  My first appointment with her was when I first found out I was pregnant and then the midwives I saw were part of the same practice.  I had loved their practice and didn't realize until I was there that I could never go there again.  I found out about the loss at my 12-week ultrasound, so ever having another one of those terrifies me as well.  Some of the ways I have grieved have taken me by such surprise, I never know how I'll react to things.</p>
 

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<p>I know how you feel. ((((hugs)))</p>
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<p>Honestly, I don't think the follow up visit is that important. Just don't go. Unless you need certain test results, I can honestly say, just don't go. No reason.</p>
 

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<p>Has this just started coming up or has it been a long term thing? Because I know that around the time of my due date I was feeling wierd and out of sorts and depressed and I couldn't figure out why ( I didn't realize at the time that the due date was coming up) and ended up going to the Dr and he rx me stuff, which I never took because right after I walked out of the office I had a light bulb moment of why I was feeling this way.</p>
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<p>So it could be related to the anniversary.....or it could be a long term issue. I do have a Dr I love that treated my cancer and once was in remission and no longer needed treatment I just couldn't go back because there were too many bad memories. So it could be that instead.</p>
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<p>Personally I'm all for UC unless there is a legit medical reason that it isn't a good idea.</p>
 
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