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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all. I am a soon-to-be-single mama. Here's my situation and I'm hoping someone will listen...

We are currently together and have a history of domestic violence. Honestly, that's gone both ways. The first times I hit him first and the last few, he's been the aggressor. But it is more than that. He also specializes in the control games, "What time will you be back?" "Who was that you were talking to on the phone?" and the ever-famous, "Are you cheating on me?"

It's getting old, mamas. I never know when the other shoe will drop, so I try to be calm and not upset the situation. Has anyone else been here and will I ever get out?

I'm working to find the words so that we don't have another confrontation. I just don't want anything to happen to my little one...
 

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Leave as soon as you can. My STBX was emotionally abusive and I was so hooked into it that it took me falling apart to leave. I felt better within weeks than I have in years and my son is thriving outside of that home. Do you have family? I moved in with my folks and it has been great, actually. Good luck!!!
 

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I agree with annarbor... leave asa you can. If you do not have family or friends in the area, maybe a domestic violence shelter will allow you time to get back on your feet. Best of luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
The problem is mamas, that this is my house, so I wouldn't be the one to leave. That's where it gets tricky, but I know that I have to get him out so that we can have a normal life because this, my friends, isn't it!
 

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I know exactly how girlie_librarian feels
. I to am in the same situation but the only difference i don't live with my son's dad. It is hard when the man gets into the what i call the control mode, where he asks about your every move you try to make. I myself don't live with him but i do get phone calls in the middle of the night which scare me 'cause they do not stop.

I do wish you luck and i hope you find a safe heaven soon
 

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I think you need to admit to yourself that he WILL be confrontational. Make a plan. Talk to your lawyer. Talk to DV experts at your local shelter. Talk to your lawyer again.
He may actually take it really well--at first. If that happens, don't believe it. He'll blow up later. Just know that and be prepared to deal with it, to get a restraining order if necessary, whatever.
It ain't gonna be easy, but it will be so worth it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Here's the update. As of yesterday, we're living separately. He shoved me twice last Saturday and I ended up with a huge scratch and bruise on my arm.

That was truly my breaking point. I snapped and told him that I wasn't raised to be anyone's punching bag and I was tired of it.

It was one of the hardest things in my life, surprisingly. But it was quite rewarding. I'm safe. My daughter is safe and my house is quiet. My dad is coming over tomorrow to install my air conditioning and take me out.

Thanks for giving me all the shoulders to lean on.

 
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