[Mimi37]

I am finding this last month the scariest part of pregnancy, which is so unexpected. I was sort of rooting for 12 weeks so the odds of m/c would drop, and then I was rooting for 24ish wks to arrive so viability was a possibility, but that was nothing compared to how I feel now at 36 weeks (and have for a couple weeks now). I think a lot of it is because the baby used to wiggle and kick so much and so strong, and now it is so hard to feel. I'm constantly worrying about when the last time was I felt it move, and sometimes it's been hours and hours (never used to be the case!), so I lie there and feel for movement until I get a few good ones... I don't know, it just makes me so worried at this point. I want this baby out and healthy, where I can see it! DH is concerned I will be this anxious about it permanently, since things can always go wrong at any stage in a child's life. But I just feel like if I could SEE the baby... I just don't feel like I have proof things are ok in there anymore, like I used to with all those big kicks. And as awful as it would be to lose the pregnancy at any stage, I feel like now it would be crushing. I see mamas with losses at 39, 40, 41 weeks listed in their signatures and it just freaks me out...

Unitytree posted some affirmations in another thread that I am going to print out and have around... I think that could help! Thanks, unitytree!

Of course the little one just gave me a decent little flutter, like, "settle down, mom!" Good baby.

Now, how long until I start getting fearful again? sigh.

 

[HomeBirthMommy]

DH is concerned I will be this anxious about it permanently, since things can always go wrong at any stage in a child's life.

Your dh is probably somewhat correct. Becoming a mother changes you so intensely. You worry so much about your children and always will.

I think the fears that you have right now are absolutely normal and a sign that you are already so devoted to your child.

It won't be long now!

 

[qjraven8]

i feel a little bad that my sigie may be causing you some worries

but i have to pay my ds raven the respects that he deserves ... i grew to love him so much in the 39wks i knew him. and even tho this lil guy is due so close to the date that i lost raven, he is a separate love in my life ... no one could change the experience and love that i felt/feel for his lil soul

:
just please keep in mind that i'm so in the minority!!! it is so rare for someone to lose their child that late in the pregnancy -- YOU HAVE FAR GREATER CHANCES OF HAVING A HAPPY HEALTHY LITTLE LOVEY!!!
you should read and copy down the affirmations that unitytree typed, i'm sure they will be of great help dear

as per the pp, i definitely agree, its normal for every preg woman to have some worries and concerns about there lil one's safety and health ... true sign that you care and are already in love with em

i've had some worries myself, but have been quite surprised at how calm i've been and how few and far between the worries have actually been ... maybe time will still tell.
anyway, have faith!!! and know that soon you will have your baby in your arms doin all kinds of crazy wonderful baby stuff that will make you so proud and humbled and in love with your child, you'll probably laugh when you look back and remember these feelings you're having right now dear

 

[unitytree]

I agree about the affirmations!!! My printer isn't working so I'm going to write/color them our today and tac them around! It'll give me something to do though because after yesterday I am totally drained!! I don't feel gross...thank goodness, but I am sooo sleepy and lathargic.

I understand the freakin' out, scared thing. It comes in waves with me, mostly when I'm feeling nasty.
It is true though, we tend to worry about our kids ALL the time. I think the more you have the more relaxed you get. I know its been that way for me. I do a lot of letting go..... It easier once you've experienced how resiliant(sp?) kids are. It also helps to understand that illness in childhood is not a bad thing...neither is a fever. But its hard when our culture pushes parents fear buttons and offers such convineint quick fix solutions to just about anything you can imagine!!
Mothers worry, fathers worry....its okay to worry as long as it doesn't dominate your life. Let it feul you to educate yourself about the things you are feeling fearful about. Fear can be a useful tool to guide you to a place of deeper understanding.

 

[Mimi37]

Quote:

Originally Posted by qjraven8 i feel a little bad that my sigie may be causing you some worries

Thank you for your kind words, and please don't feel bad -- I almost deleted that part of my post because I didn't want to be insensitive about that. Of course you would want to honor your ds in your sig -- and your right to do that totally trumps my anxieties! I would be feeling anxious anyway.

Thanks again for your reassurances.

 

[orangefoot]

In all but my first pregnancy its been at this late stage that I have the true realisation that 'the baby' is actually a real independent person who will have his or her own way of being and take his or her own place in our family and our lives. I look at my 13 year old and know that although I gave him a start he has grown himself and become himself through his own effort with me just walking alongside.

It is totally true that being a parent changes and I think one of the biggest changes is not so much the *responsibility* for another person but the fact that although this person grew inside you, you have no control over what happens from here on in whatsoever in the broadest sense.

You won't have proof that things are ok even when you can see the baby on the outside; everything becomes less known not more in some way.

Try to enjoy the peaceful times that you are sharing with your little one at the moment; he or she needs to sleep - its been a busy time and there's more work ahead to be done.

Rachel

 

[Avima]

((hugs)) Mimi.
Also remember, that our babies are running out of room in there, so movements are a bit less frequent now.
I can't believe we're all almost to the finish line!

 

[RainbowsMum]

I understand the being scared thing. It's not easy

I spent the WHOLE of my earlyer pregnancy worried I would loose the baby, somewhere between having a horrific infection last year that had me in and out of hospital and due to which I was told there was a high chance I would never get to have children, and with what happened last year with my

-which resulted in the infection, I almost convinced myself I didn't deserve this one, that I would loose her. But I figure we've made it this far.... So the odds are in our favor... Although I admit I do worry a little still too. I don't think anything will change that until she's out and I'm holding her - Ha, then it'll just turn into a different worry

 

[qjraven8]

mimi, you didnt come across insensitive at all !!! you were just voicing your thoughts and concerns and there's nothing at all wrong with that

 

[Piper's mama]

Being a parent is such a crazy ride. I haven't been too worried about this wee one. But I sure was about DD. It got even worse after she was born. I was absolutly mortified about having a daughter and I would spend hours every night worried about all the horrible things that happen to girls and women

:. I finally would "talk" myself to sleep with re-assurances.

It is so nice to have that little person on the outside of you, you can reach over 20 times a night to feel for breathing/heartbeat. I even would feel and make sure DH was breathing also. I think, at least for me, my fears are definently lessening. Sometimes I do something stupid and watch a scary TV show and then I want to go upstairs and lay under DD's crib and listen to her sleep. Putting her in her own room was pretty hard for me, but it is all such a learning experience. If we learn to let go and try to "go with the flow". Being a parent makes us better, more in tune people, I believe.