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Discussion Starter #1
DS is 4 years old now. I know I am ready to wean. DS would not say that he is. DP is not really ready for him to wean either. So I'm testing out an idea for weaning.<br><br>
A few weeks ago, I started saying, "we nurse when we wake up and when we go to sleep." This was more or less true, but on the weekends, he often nursed more frequently. Now he rarely asks to nurse beyond those times.<br><br>
I'm thinking my next step is to say, "now we nurse when we wake up and when we go to sleep. We're going to stop nursing at one of those times. Do you choose to keep nursing when you wake up or when you go to sleep?" Obviously we would still do cuddling, back scratching, etc. during the time he chose no nursing.<br><br>
Then I would like to eventually eliminate the one he holds onto. I'm not sure if it makes sense to make a day by when we'll be done, or just let it happen naturally. Thing is, I am not sure it will happen naturally. DP is very wary of having a "done by" date, and I understand that...<br><br>
Thoughts?
 

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I am SO going to watch this thread.<br>
I am just about in the same boat, except we have been doing the night/morning thing for about a year and a half, and we have already discussed weaning.<br>
I sort of hinted around for a while that we were going to wean when he turned 4, and he didn't care much. Until his friend had his 4th birthday party. Then ds totally lost it one night in bed: he didn't want to have a birthday, he wanted to stay little, all these things. He was hysterical. So I told him he would have nana as long as he needed it, until he was ready to wean. Instant peace.<br>
However, I have been ready to wean for about 6 months, and I don't know if I can keep going much longer. I really really believe that this is a two-person relationship, and I don't want to resent ds. But I will not force it on him_ I've got to persuade him somehow...<br>
I like the idea of letting him choose which one to cut out. I think I may give that a try.
 

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Hi. My DD is only 3, but I'm at the same point with nursing. She nurses before bed, and again when she wakes up in the morning. I have gently encouraged these limits, and she has accepted gracefully. I am watching this thread because I have a feeling I will need this information later.<br><br>
zansmama: I know what you mean about the "hysterical" reaction when weaning is suggested. Same thing with my girl, wanting to stay little, not wanting a birthday, etc. I took this as a cue that she isn't ready to be finished. I'm trying to follow her lead while also respecting my feelings/instincts about nursing. It's tricky sometimes.<br><br>
ktcl: I like the idea of choosing between the two times, and there's nothing wrong with "trying it out". If the weaning isn't being accepted well, you can always try again in a couple of weeks.<br><br>
Let us know what happens.
 

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Ds will be 4 in Sept. Part of me...most of me...is ready for him to wean. He holds on with his teeth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: for one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . Last December I had to wean him down to 3-5 times a day when I got pg with dd (after 3 m/c's), and we night weaned the next month. Eventually the pain (both nipple and bh contx pain) got to be too much and I weaned him down to bed time and nap time. He quit napping about a month after dd was born, so now that one is gone. Its been so long since he nursed upon waking that I can't remember how we dropped that. Could you maybe substitute a different activity in?<br><br>
We've been gently talking about being done with nigh-nights...but he's still a no-go. I think we might be getting close to picking a day and making a ring calendar or something and seeing what he thinks. If its traumatic then I won't force it, but I'm ok with gentle encouragement.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I think suggesting a different activity could work well for DS. Unfortunately, he tends to wake around 5:30, and it's me who does NOT want to get out of bed and so much prefer nursing until 6 than getting right up.<br><br>
I should now add..we've been talking about it a bunch, and I think it's making him anxious. Part of me says that means he's not ready. Part of me says, "just stop talking about it and do it." (the choosing thing that is...not complete cold turkey).
 

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My ds is 3.5 and I also feel ready to wean. My ds is heartbroken at the mere suggestion that some day he will not nurse any more. Even when he's a grown up firefighter or train driver, he intends to nurse. I am stuck. He currently nurses 4 times a day (before and after nap, last thing at night, first thing in the morning). Sometimes I can divert the before-nap nursing if he falls aslepp in the car, or the after nap nursing because he's usually pretty ready to get up and go, but the others are really tough. If I get up with him in the morning without nursing, he will remember and insist on nursing after breakfast. He will not go to sleep at night without nursing, and if I am out he will sit quietly (or not so quietly!) in bed until I come home.<br><br>
Anyway, just sympathising and reading...
 
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