Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
<p>So, dh and I have been, for different reasons, in a bit of a funk lately. (In my case, it's mostly because I've been sick for what feels like forever.) We're at that point where I think we're both feeling bummed at least partly because the other is feeling bummed. Do any of you have any tips for not letting that kind of thing get to you? DH and I are both a bit moody, in completely different ways, and it's starting to wear me (and him, I'm sure) down. I've never been able to tune out the "vibe", and I still can't, so I can't just pretend to myself that he's not in a mood when he is. How do you not let it get to you?</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
290 Posts
<p>That is SO hard!  DH and I both feed off of each other, which can make the house a very happy or very unhappy place to be.  When DH is persistently down I sometimes have to take a little bit of a tough love approach.  I tell him that I can't live like this - I need him to snap out of the mood and if he needs my help I am more than happy to do whatever - if he needs to get out for an afternoon and see a movie by himself - go!, need to finish a project?  I'll help.  Need a date? Lets go!  Usually just the fact that I point it out to him and that I am willing to help him is enough.  He tends to not realize that he is emitting that "woe is me" vibe.</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,220 Posts
<p>I'm sorry!  DH and I both struggle with depression, and it blows wide hitting a low at the same time.  We try to see it as a sign that we need something -- rest, rage, mourning, fun, sleep, what-have-you -- but we've gotten to an approach where we'll see feeling down almost like a friend who's saying, "Hey, you feel crappy!  Maybe you can't fix it, but at least be good to yourself in the meantime!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wishing you both well . . .</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,411 Posts
<p>quite simply, sex.  I know that doesnt work for everyone, and I know OP has some medical issues that make it very difficult.  But I have found that "release" for both of us definetly lightens our moods and helps us keep everything in perspective.  Sometimes the end result is achived in "non conventional" ways.  <span><img alt="winky.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="width:15px;height:15px;"></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again, I know this is not for everyone, but OP asked for tips, and this has been something that always works for <strong>us</strong>.  Right now we are in a financial semi-crisis, and have found that the more we lean on eachother physically, the easier it is to lean on eachother emotionally as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Good luck.  <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="width:22px;height:15px;"> (And I hope no one takes offense to my answer)</span></p>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,674 Posts
<p>Just wanted to chime in that a good roll in the bed together helps clear the air around here a lot!</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
<p>Sex is usually helpful. Right now, one of the reasons for my funk (and his, really) is that I've been ill since the beginning of September..."just" colds, flu (that was in Sept) and a cough....but the cough is just now going away, after five or six weeks. I'm sooooo exhausted, and not to go too far into TMI territory, but I find that sex doesn't work all that well when I'm sick, because I'm dehydrated and such. Sex has definitely been an iffy proposition since ds2 was born, though - sometimes, it works really well, and sometimes...not so much. In general, I actually agree that sex is a great medicine for a relationship, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think he's starting to bounce back a little, so we should be on an upswing, I hope. Lines of communication tend to start to collapse a little when we're both feeling cruddy, and that, all by itself, makes me feel worse.</p>
<p><br>
Thanks, all!</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
<p>Well, a big Thanksgiving dinner (we live in Canada, but dh is American, so we do two dinners each year) and a good night's sleep on both our parts have improved our moods some. I think we're just running on empty too much.</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,220 Posts
<p>*Two* Thanksgiving dinners would improve almost anything for me!  Glad to hear it's treated you both well.</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25,599 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
<p>I'm now also over my cold, and have more energy for sex. Things are looking up!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm done having babies. Maybe now I'll have the sex life I've been aiming at for...20 years...wow...it really has been. Yuck.</p>
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top