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in the manchild phase being newly 18.<br><br>
However it would behoove you to have or even pretend to have some respect for the people who are paying your bills while you finish school so you can go to college or get a job.<br>
The stunt you pulled yesterday is more of the reasons ( which you asked and argued with) of why no one wants to hire your a$$ right now. ATTITUDE.<br><br>
Since you are having to rely on us a bit longer than planned show some decent behaviour and courtesy even if you have to fake it. I don't care at this point.<br><br>
Stop driving me nuts complaining that we don't treat you like an adult and then two sentences later complain that you shouldn't have to be an adult because you are not grown and mature yet. It is making my head SPIN!!!!
 

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To my 6-year-old: NO! You may NOT have a sprite! No matter how many times you ask, the answer will be no! WE DO NOT BUY DRINKS WHEN WE GO OUT, HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED?? And if we did buy drinks, they would NOT be soda. Yes, I know I let you have a sprite last Thanksgiving, and on your birthday. SO?!?!?!?!? And yes, I KNOW that a couple of times I have bought myself a coke at the drive-thru, I won't do that anymore, I SWEAR!! I just needed the caffeine!! IT WILL BE JUST WATER FROM NOW ON!!!<br><br>
To my 18-month-old: You are so cute sweetie. It is really cool and amazing that you've started talking! BUT DO YOU HAVE TO STAY UP HALF THE NIGHT PRACTICING!! WE CAN'T SLEEP!!! FOR THE PAST 3 NIGHTS I HAVE SPENT 3 HOURS LAYING IN BED WITH YOU LISTENING TO YOU SING AND GAB!! Why won't you SLEEP? You are keeping your sister up too!
 

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To 2.5-year-old dd: Get off your baby brother!! How many effing times do I have to tell you - you canNOT climb on him - you canNOT pull him off my lap while he's eating - you canNOT bite his head - you canNOT feed him raisins or grapes or crackers or apricots or almonds or ANYTHING ELSE. He eats BREASTMILK - that's IT - just breastmilk. LEAVE HIM ALONE and let him freaking eat!!! Don't touch him when he's eating and don't dump him out of the carseat when he's fallen asleep there! He does NOT want to be turned upside down, even if you do up his freaking harness!!! STOP STOP STOP!!! He's just a baby!!! Oh - and get off the f***ing cat!!! He's not a horse - NO - you can't ride him - he's not a horse...and that's a tail, not a handle - don't pull him down the hallway! STOP STOP STOP!!!!<br><br>
To 2.5-month-old ds2: Stop kicking me! If you want to eat, eat, but don't kick me!! And, could you stop with the freaking out thing? I just want to brush my d***ned teeth before bed! Could you stop screaming at daddy - I'll be two minutes - that's all!!! I just fed you - why can't you wait two freaking minutes, so I can brush my teeth!?!?<br><br>
*sigh*<br>
That felt good.
 

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Might I add...Darling daughter - that is my HAIR, it is NOT a handle. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!!! OUCH!!!!
 

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STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS WHILE I'M BUSY FIGURING OUT YOUR SISTER'S FEAR OF THE TOILET, FOR CHRISTMAS SAKE! GO FIND YOUR OWN SLIPPER! (to other girl): WHAT THE F*** IS THE BIG F***ING PROBLEM WITH USING THE TOILET?! WE HAVE BEEN STUCK AT HOME FOR DAYS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST SIT THERE AND GO!!!! THIS SUCKS!!!!! AND NO I WON'T JUST GIVE YOU A STUPID DA** DIAPER SO YOU CAN PLAY AND NOT HAVE TO BOTHER TO GO TO THE TOILET! AND I'M STARTING NOT TO BELIEVE YOU THAT YOU'RE SCARED AND INSTEAD I AM STARTING TO THINK YOU'D LIKE ME TO GO INSANE !!! I AM SO SO SO SO SICK OF DEALING WITH EVERY LITTLE THING AS IF IT WERE ACTUALLY DANGEROUS!! AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!<br><br>
thanks, that's best left unsaid, don't'cha think?
 

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I would have loved to let off some steam <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> and was all prepared to do so but by the time i got to the bottom of this thread i was tearing up with laughter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> and i am just grateful that they're both asleep so i could actually read it all!<br>
THANK YOU!!!
 

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This is seriously SOOOOOO VALIDATING for me!! Hilarious! Ok, here's mine<br><br>
me to the kids in the car<br><br>
STOP ARGUING!!! KEEP YOUR FREAKING HANDS TO YOURSELF AND STOP ANNOYING EACH OTHER....STOP HUMMING AND PUTTING YOUR FINGERS TWO INCHES FROM YOUR SISTER'S FACE...YES I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING HER BUT YOU ARE ANNOYING HER (to the 5, 6, and 10 year old)<br>
PLEASE STOP DUMPING YOUR BAG OF CEREAL ON THE FLOOR OF THE CAR WHILE I'M DRIVING!!! I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY 20 MONTHS BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY THIS CAR LOOKS LIKE A LAND FILL!!!<br>
WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUUUUUUT UPPPPPP! WHY CANT YOU JUST BE FREAKING KIND TO EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF WHINING, YELLING, AND ARGUING!!!<br>
NO, YOU CANT BUCKLE YOURSELF INTO YOUR CARSEAT...YOU SCREAM AND THROW A TANTRUM EVERY TIME I PUT YOU IN YOUR CARSEAT AND TODAY I DONT FEEL LIKE WAITING TIL YOU ATTEMPT TO BUCKLE YOURSELF FOR 5 MINTUES WHEN WE BOTH KNOW YOU FAIL EVERY TIME!! MOMMY HAS TO DO IT!<br><br>
and the grand finale <span style="font-size:medium;">STOP STOMPING WHEN YOU'RE MAD...YOU WILL WAKE UP THE BABY!!!</span>
 

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For C*****'s sakes, just let me put the g**d***** diaper on you!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
~Nay<br><br>
ps.<br><br>
Is cussing allowed? I'll assume not so I'll abbreviate. If that's not okay, let me know and I'll come back and use the censored icon. Okay, here goes.
 

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AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!<br><br>
Man, I've been needing to yell that a few times today.<br><br>
CAN'T I JUST GO PEE WITHOUT INTERRUPTION? I JUST WANT TO GO PEE!!! CAN'T I ALSO MAYBE COMB MY HAIR WITHOUT YOU YELLING AT ME ABOUT WATCHING SOMETHING OR ANOTHER? I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND SOMETIMES MOMMY JUST NEEDS A LITTLE MOMMY TIME!!! PLEASE, JUST GO PLAY FOR A COUPLE MINUTES; I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND. I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND. THE MORE YOU INTERUPT ME THE LONGER I'M GOING TO TAKE.<br><br>
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
 

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THOSE ARE NOT DIRTY CLOTHES, i JUST WASHED THOSE CLOTHES LAST NIGHT, THE ONLY THING THAT IS DIRTY IS WHAT WAS ON YOUR GRUBBY BODY TODAY!!!! EVERYTHING ELSE IS CLEAN, PUT IT AWAY!!!!! .....AND DO YOU SMART BACK TO ME ABOUT WEARING IT THIS WEEKEND, DID THIS WEEKEND COME BEFORE OR AFTER I DID THE gd LAUNDRY LAST NIGHT?????? THEN JUST PUT IT AWAY!!!!<br><br>
to the darling 4 y/o obsessed with his gameboy YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE ALLWED TO PLAY GAMEBOY, IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, i SWEAR I'LL FLUSH THE GD THING DOWN THE GD TOILET!!!!!<br><br>
though had I not read this whole thread before getting here I could have gone on and on and on and today was a good day. However, we MUST keep this thread (and therefore my sanity) going....I'm sure I"ll be back bright and early tomorrow....)<br><br>
Hugs to all!!! Sus
 

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aaaaahhhhh, I feel SO much better. Just when you think your household is the most insane on the planet, you see something like this and realize everything's ok. I think this is the best thread I've read. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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i know your teeth hurt BUT STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR!!!!!!<br><br>
stop screaming at me! i know you want conan obrien but hes not on the tv yet! i cant make dancing mushrooms come on tv! iron chef isnt on! i cant make boohbah on. IM NOT TIVO!!! *seriously thinking of going tv-free*<br><br>
the vacuum isnt going to hurt you! i know its loud but it eats dirt. i dont want to carry you everytime i vacuum! youre heavy, im exhausted! i just want to vacuum the floor without you screaming!!!(i miss our old vacuum, she used to hug it and dance with it. thats what happens when you send a typical guy to get a vacuum. you get a vacuum centered around a jet engine)<br><br>
IM COOKING IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IM COOKING IT!!!!<br><br>
to her grandma:<br><br>
STOP PUTTING HER IN DIAPERS YOURE CONFUSING THE HELL OUT OF HER!!!<br><br>
STOP YELLING AT HER!!!<br><br>
^&%^&%*&^!!!! CANT YOU JUST LISTEN FOR ONCE WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE AND CHILDISH!?!?!<br><br>
to her dad:<br>
STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN GAME AND EITHER WATCH YOUR DAUGHTER OR CLEAN SOMETHING! IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP YOUR CRAP! STOP SHOVING YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES INTO THE COUCH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!<br><br>
whew.....ive had a really rough day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut">
 

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baby girl, i love you to death but is just one day nap without me holding you too much to ask for?<br><br>
notice the one handed typing?
 

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I have to say this thread is hysterical when your DC is asleep and you feel all calm and relaxed and not in the midst of it! I mean when DD does these things I am like ARGGGGGHHHHHHH when its someone else it kind of puts it in perspective and helps you to laugh at it (which is very releasing) so thanks!!<br><br>
PS I liked the comment about the car looking like a landfill from the cereal! I think my car seat is glued in by now with chewed-up cereal glue.
 

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Stop tipping your head forward when I'm rinsing your hair. Do you WANT soap in your eyes?? Why do you do that? You know the soap stings - just tip your d***ed head back!!! No - not forward - BACK. Tip it BACK!!!<br><br>
.....<br>
Well - what did you think was going to happen - YES - you got soap in your eyes!!!<br><br>
AAARRRGGHHH!!!!
 

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I'm hogging this thread, I think....<br><br>
Yes - you can come in if you want, but I have to go <i>now</i> - let me close the door. Fine - outside then - okay - inside WHATEVER!!! I don't care if you're in or out, but I have to go NOW. No - leave the toilet paper alone - don't pull it off. No - it doesn't go in the toilet unless it's used - stop that!! You want on my lap? NOW?? This isn't the best time, you know...fine, okay - sit on my lap until I'm done. You have to get down - NOW - get down....I'm done! GET DOWN. Thank you - NO - no more toilet paper...ARRRGGGH<br><br>
Okay - I'm done we can get out now. NO - no more toilet paper!!!!<br><br>
Boy - it's too bad that when we don't have kids, we really don't <i>appreciate</i> the little luxuries like going to the bathroom by ourselves...
 

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Stop sitting on your sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
she's too small for you to give her a massage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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to my 2 yr old:<br>
STOP ASKING ME THE <b>EXACT</b> SAME QUESTION YOUR BROTHER ASKED AND I ANSWERED! WHEN YOU ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN AND I SAY I JUST ANSWERED IT, BE HAPPY WITH THAT ANSWER! I DON'T LIKE ANSWERING THE SAME QUESTION TWICE! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THINGS OUTSIDE THE CAR WHILE I AM TRYING TO DRIVE! DON'T...PUT.. SO...MUCH...FOOD...IN..YOUR-- ARGH! DON'T SPIT IT ALL OUT IN YOUR HAND AND PUT IT ON MY PLATE!<br><br>
to my 4 yr old:<br>
TREVOR, I LOVE HEARING YOUR STORIES, BUT DO THEY HAVE TO BE SOOOO LONG? DOES EVERYTHING YOU WEAR HAVE TO HAVE ORANGE IN IT? YOUR ORANGE SHIRT IS DIRTY, PLEASE JUST WEAR A BLUE ONE? <b>WHY ARE YOU SO OBBSESSED WITH THE COLOUR ORANGE!!!!???</b> WHEN YOU HAVE TO PEE AT NIGHT CAN YOU JUST WAKE UP AND GO? DO YOU HAVE TO CRY AND SQUIRM IN BED UNTIL I <i>MAKE</i> YOU GET UP, USHER YOU TO THE RESTROOM, PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN AND DEMAND YOU HOLD YOUR OWN SELF TO PEE?<br><br>
to my 8 month old:<br>
PLEASE, YOU SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR A LONG TIME. PLEASE JUST START SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT AGAIN! I AM TIRED OF WAKING TO NURSE! STOP TRYING TO CRAWL AWAY WHEN I AM CHANGING YOUR DIAPER! STOP WAKING UP AT NIGHT RIGHT AS I AM ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP!<br><br>
to the 4 and 2 yr olds:<br>
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NEED TO KNOW THE INGREDIENTS OF EVERYTHING SET IN FRONT OF YOU? WHY MUST I REPEAT IT INDIVIDUALLY FOR EACH OF YOU? WHYARE YOU ASKING WHEN YOU HELPED MAKE IT!? CAN YOU PLEASE JUST SHARE THE TOYS FOR ONCE! ARGHHHHH!
 
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