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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Right now I am feeling very alone and unsupported and just need to vent and maybe have some good vibes passed my way.

My new baby boy is intact. My first son was circ'd out of my own ignorance and youth...and I carry so much guilt and regret because of it. When I brought up to my dh when I was still pg that this baby would not be circ'd, he flipped out on me and even though I stood my ground and am very happy that I did, it's a very tense subject between us. He refuses to read any info as to why I made the decision to leave our son as God made him and has said quite a few hurtful comments about it since M was born...
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I have two best friends that both have circ'd 3 yr old boys and although one listens to me politely, they both say there is "nothing wrong with circ'ing" and will do it again if they have any more boys. I even told one about the drs stimulating an erection prior to cutting (knowledge that truly horrifies me, to the core) and she still says she'll never change her mind about circ'ing.
: Is it wrong for me to hope she never has another son?
I love her but I cannot imagine her allowing that to happen to another baby after hearing what the dr will do to him!!

I'm just so sad. Sad that my dh thinks our son is "not normal". Sad that there is just so much ignorance around me. Sad that my perfect little boy is the minority (or so it seems). Even his ped was surprised that he was intact and assumed that I just hadn't made the appt to have *it* done yet.

*sigh* Tell me there is hope. Please.
 

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Hugs to you, mama. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing for your son. Here is an article for YOU to read (NOT to show your husband........just for you to read and think about.)

http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/vuln...ty_of_men.html

As the article explains, your dh is protecting his own ego. He'll come around. Give him a little time.

And visit us often!!!!!!!!
 

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I know exactly how you feel! Although my DH agreed with me on leaving him intact, ALL of my friends and family who have have boys think circ is best and will NOT change their minds.

I have a friend (very hard-headed) with a circ'd 4yo and she is TTC. I hope she has a girl. I just don't think I can handle it if she has a boy....although I would just sit back and ignore the topic if she did....I'm not going to lose our friendship over it.

I do have a friend who is getting married in March and I know they will have a baby soon after, and she is very receptive to hearing about the subject. I hope she chooses not to! I know they will have a boy. I think it's going to be harder to convince her fiance, because she told me that when she told him my son was intact, he made the locker room comment.
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I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. Just know that I think most people who have made this decision in our very pro-circ society has felt that way to a degree. You are not alone. However, I never felt alone in a BAD way, it actually made me feel good to know that I went against "mainstream" and made the BEST decision for my little boy. I have never been much of a follower. Feel empowered that you were smart enough to know that circumcision does nothing but harm and you spared your little baby from the pain!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You're very right, Rfribbs. I do feel very proud that I went with my gut and my heart and went against the mainstream, I am reminded of that every time I change my sweet boy's diap. I just wish I could convince others, yk?
 

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Hugs to you, Cari. It makes me sad that at a time in your life that should be filled with joy and wonder, you have tension and unhappiness.

You KNOW you did the right thing. In time I suspect your DH will agree with you; until then, all you can do is remind him that you have a wonderful, normal, healthy baby boy.

My twin boys are intact, and they are 12 years old. They don't know the penis status of any of their friends, and I'm fairly certain that none of their friends knows they are intact. It simply is a non-issue.

I can tell you that when they learned about circumcision (when they were 8) they were glad that we didn't do it to them - and they felt sorry for their Dad, who is circumcised.

again, hugs to you, and please stop in here any time you need some moral support - or to brag about your beautiful baby!
 

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I understand how you feel. DB is basically pro-circ but has left it up to me since I more passionate about my stance. In the end, it would be a "over my dead body" type of situation but luckily it hasn't come to that. My own mother said something to the effect of, "That's disgusting, he's going to get all kinds of infections" when I told her we weren't going to circ. However, I know I'm doing the right thing and I don't really care what other people think. I'm not going to let other people's emotional issues or ignorance of the subject get me down, ykwim? As long as they stay far away from my son's penis, it's a-okay. I imagine it would be terribly frustrating to have friends with circed sons who would "do it again in a heartbeat" and I'm not sure how I would deal with that (none of my friends have children). Anyways, just be strong and know that you did the right thing and I wouldn't doubt it one bit if your DH feels a little upset emotionally that he was circed now that he sees for himself that it was uncessarry.
 

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IRL I only have one American-born friend who didn't circ her son, so we are definitely in the minority. However, I feel certain it was the right thing to do (or NOT to do, technically). I felt more and more certain over time, and 2-year-old DS being intact felt more and more normal. I truly believe you will experience the same thing.
 

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Really ... it just seems that it is a meaningful minority, but it's not. You'll meet many friends who don't circ and other intact boys as time goes on. Especially in crunchy circles.

Perhaps your husband will have an opportunity to make friends with an intact man and/or a man with an intact son who will ... well, men like their peer groups.
 

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I hear you mama. I circed my son and I hate it. I have a friend who was going on and on about how not circing is gross and unhealthy. Um. Do you KNOW how idiotic you sound?
She is trying to concieve now and I dread trying to convince her otherwise.
Her dh was in the room during the circumcision because he thought it was cool.

ICK ICK ICK ICK ICk.
 

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my dh and family think I should have circed ds as well.
we no longer talk about it other than my dh and he still thinks circ should be the parents choice and there is nothing wrong with it his reason "because I am and there is nothing wrong with me"
 

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In the long run, you'll be glad you left him intact. I left my sons whole at a time when "everyone" was circ'ing, and now that they are grown men, I am glad that I left them alone.
You will, too.
Come here any time you need moral support.
 
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