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Feeling angry/sad

605 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Galatea
The more I learn about circumcision, the more angry and sad I get. I feel like both dh and I got ripped off because of his parents' ignorant decision to circ him. Our first son is circ'd, our second is intact and I feel sick to my stomach over what we did to first ds. I feel like we cheated him and his future wife. Obviously there are so many consequences to circumcision but it seems like it just robs couples of what a sexual experience is supposed to be like.
It feels like the more I learn the worse I feel. Has anyone else experienced grief over this? It is not fair! I cannot believe this practice is legal and accepted.
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to you and your family. I think circ brutalizes not only children but also their parents when they learn the truth. You have all been victimized by the medical profession that continues this bloody practice for the blood money and is too ashamed and guilty to stand up and tell parents the truth.

I am so sorry. I do admire you tremendously for having the courage to leave your second son intact. There are many parents who take the approach of "cut one, cut all of them."

You know that Marilyn Milos, founder of NOCIRC, has three circed sons? She didn't know any better until she went back to school to become a nurse and saw what circ really is. She took her anger and grief and passion and turned them to the cause of helping baby boys (and girls) avoid circ. I'm not saying you have to go out and found another organization
but you might find some solace in spreading the word about your regrets to friends, family, and strangers, in the hopes that your story might save some other mamas from the pain you feel.

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We have a thread at the top of this forum for parents who regret circing their children. You may find reading and posting there helpful.

I am so sorry that you and your family are victims of this. I very much believe that the medical community has a lot of the responsibility for perpetrating this.
Thank you! I did post my story in that thread maybe a year or so go. I lurk in this forum mostly, but it is kind of depressing for me so I don't come often.
It is very hard to come to terms with circing your child, even if all the next ones you leave intact. Thanks for all you mamas do here on this forum.
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Originally Posted by nancymom
The more I learn about circumcision, the more angry and sad I get. I feel like both dh and I got ripped off because of his parents' ignorant decision to circ him.
I can relate to this pain. I have a research when I got pregnant I read everything, including circ information. And, there is a level of sadness now from what I KNOW my DH is missing. I still think that the huge majority is his loss (I know the places anatomically he should feel huge sensation -like the area where the frenulum would be, but he doesn't feel what he should..I think they pretty much cut it all off there). Though lubrication is an issue and he also needs rough stimulation to orgasm, which makes him out of sync with me. I feel really mad at times, and just WISH that somehow they would have protected him. They had NO RIGHT to interfere with our sex life. It is pretty ridiculous...we've only been with eachother and even before I knew about circ if he had been intact it wouldn't have phased me even as a teenager. I fell in love with him first before I ever saw the penis. And, I still can't wrap my head around the idea that people actually WANT to be with people who are missing some of their genitals. I mean, in the sense that I have met so many women who think a man as God created it is a gross thing. They have to be complete idiots
: . Who wouldn't want a sex partner who had full function as they were meant to have????

You may find out information on restoration. For us, that has been the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I started a yahoo group up a couple of weeks ago and some of our ladies here are on it. We are there to answer women's questions regarding restoration, etc.

I am still mad though, and even with restoration you can only restore so much...the gliding mechanism of intercourse, some of the sensitivity of the glans and inner foreskin...though you can't replace/undo the amputation of tens of thousands of nerve endings and sensual structures like the ridged band and fenulum
. He deserved much better. My husband is very proud that we kept out son intact...mainly as he knows how much easier it would have been for him to stay in a state of denial of the fact he was harmed as an infant, he sees men do that every day.
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i grieve for what my dh lost. He has some of the "minor" complications of circ. I will wounder for the rest of my life how things could have been different for us had he been left as God and nature made him. I am just so thankfull that my instincts to leave my ds intact were right on the money and he will now have the opertunity to reach his full potential.
Yes, at times I have become very upset about my husband being circ, to the point of crying, but it passes. He is restoring. When your first son grows up, your husband can tell him about this. Maybe by then they will have this stem cell thing figured out and men can have their foreskins back! I fantasize about that all the time.
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