[wifty]

I have just been feeling really guilty recently that I have my dd in preschool part-time. I am a SAHM, so she could be at home with me but mentally, I do alot better when I am able to have my alone/down time.

Does anyone else use childcare to give themselves a break? Hubby is great about spending time with her, but I just can't find it in myself to spend everyday alone with her even though I love her so much.

Should I just find a way to deal or do you think its ok for her to be in preschool parttime? She is 3.5 and has been in school for about months now. Usually, she seemed like she liked it, but this past week, she has not wanted to go and has been really clingy....so its making me feel guilty.

What do you think?

 

[mavery]

I think it's totally okay (in general) for a kid this age to be in preschool, and for most kids it's positively beneficial.

I think even disregarding any benefits your dd might get from having new experiences and being with other kids, she benefits if her mommy is on an even keel and more able to enjoy being with her.

Depending on your dd's personality and her school schedule (is it 5 days/week?), you could be open to occasional "mental health days" for hanging out with her.

Have you read the Ames & Ilg book "Your Three Year Old"? There's a whole series (Your One YEar Old, etc.) and in each book they answer letters from parents about problems they're having with their kids. The books in general are great, down to earth, very accepting of normal variations in personality and development, and in the Three-Year Old book many of their answers to parents' problems are basically "You both might do better if s/he was in preschool a few days a week". This is a tough age and if preschool helps, then hurray!