Mothering Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
230 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently I've been feeling like I just can't talk to many people about what life is like with my dc. Even my good friends who breastfeed, sling their baby, etc. My dc is 5 mo and prefers to still nap ON me, wakes often at night (some nights as often as ever 2 hours) to feed. We co-sleep and I wear him when I can. But I have come across lots of comments recently when I tell people he hates the carseat (always has--most of the time still screams in it), not a fan of his stroller, and won't stay sleeping long if at all if put down for naps. I get comments as extreme as "you are just going to have to let him cry" to "I wonder WHY he's like that..mama never wants to put him down". I think my dc is a very alert child and IS sensitive to noises, etc. This would have served him well back in the stone ages, right! Ha! Still, I can't help by doubt myself some days and feel a bit jealous of those who can put their babies down for naps!! Am I doing something wrong? Do we "create" the temperament of our kids?? Like right now...I'd love a cup of hot tea, but can't even get that because he's sleeping so well on me I don't want to move. He went to daycare for the 2nd time today and slept a total of 35 min. in 5 hrs. That's an improvement from the 5 min. the first day in the four hours he was there!!!
Thanks for letting me vent....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
249 Posts
I'm sorry but does my dc sneak out at night and go to your house?

I swear you're talking about my son here! I have to admit... he is sooooo much better from when he was first born! But I too have a dc that is very sensitive to noise, hates the car, didn't nap well until recently, wakes at night (even though we cosleep), and naps best on ME!! Did I cover everything? I have to keep this short because typing w/one hand (I'm sure you know why) is not my specialty


Hang in there mama... I'm told it gets better! And to be honest I have noticed a huge improvement since birth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
691 Posts
Yep, you're talking about my dd too. I hold her for her entire 2 hour nap. The few times I thought I would put her down she would wake and just not go back to sleep. Then she was only getting like 9 hours total sleep a day and I knew that wasn't healthy. The funny thing was she wasn't cranky. This is the same baby would when she was 5 weeks old stayed up for 20 hours straight. My dd sometimes will nurse the entire night. When I wake up I feel like my nipple is going to fall off (and I 'm a unaboober so that wouldn't be cool
). Anyway, hang in there and don't worry about what others say, you are doing whats best for your baby and doing what he needs. Remember you can't spoil a baby.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
374 Posts
I could have written your post when DD was a baby. It does get easier, I promise, but for now you'll have to try closing your ears. It's hard to resist listening to people telling you to CIO when you have a high needs baby - you're tired, and want a break, but baby always needs you.
I could throttle my nana for telling me "Pisces babies cry a lot" right before I had DD - seemed like she'd cursed me after she was born and the colic began.
DD also hated all of the gadgets designed for babies to sit in so their mothers can get a moment to themselves, and would scream bloody murder every time in the carseat. I would suggest the following -
*Tough it out when you have to, like when you need to poop, shower, etc. Many times I'd be crying while washing my hair, boobs spraying crazily while Jay screamed in the bouncy on the other side of the shower curtain.

*The sling was my salvation. I recently saw on someone's blog or something how they arranged some heavy duty hooks over the baby's crib to hang her from in her sling, so they could actually take her off and not have her wake up and scream. Unconventional, but brilliant, IMO. I sold my crib with DD having spent maybe a total of an hour in it, unhappily at that.

*With the car, experiment lots of different music. Oddly enough, DD hated lullabyes but would actually stop crying to listen to Rob Zombie (not too loud, mind you
)If you could find some sort of vibrating thing to put in with him that might help as well. I would have sold my soul for DD to take a paci, but alas, no such luck. For us, it got a better once I put her is a kushy convertible seat (rear facing still), and she was totally fine once turned around at a year. Being able to see out of the window seemed to help.

*Don't feel guilty about your decisions and just be at peace with the fact that your child is sensitive. He needs you, you make him feel secure. For some reason, the people who are giving you the same crappy advice I heard seem to think babies should all behave in the same way. I was very stressed out during my pregnancy and most of DD's first year. I know that my stress level was impacting her negatively, and definitely didn't help me cope with her needs very well. Add in pressure from people who wanted me to do things that made DD and I MORE stressed (CIO, etc) and you have a freak out special on your hands. I can look back on that time and see that it was a cycle - I'd be stressed about x, then DD would be needy, and that would stress me more, which made DD unhappier, and so on. If I had it to do over, I would set aside time to try to listen to soft music, nurse, and meditate with her...watch her sleep and appreciate her sweet babyness. It makes me sad that I did not enjoy her infancy as much as I could have if I'd only stopped worrying about what I *should* be doing and just did what felt right.

Hugs to you and your baby boy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
183 Posts
two things...

one, it does get easier, i swear. my ds is now 18mos and although he is still sensitive, he naps on his own, plays by himself and is just a delightful little boy.

two, it is NOT YOU. it is temperment. my dd is the easiest little babe in the world. she came out knowing how to self soothe, sleeps better on her own and FALLS ASLEEP IF YOU JUST PUT HER DOWN. amazing.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top