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Well, I decided to divorce DH. And I managed to get myself embroiled in an affair with a married man - of course, he was separated when we became involved. Aren't they always? And now that I have fallen completely in love with him, he has put a house under contract with his wife and will be moving back in with her not long from now.<br><br>
Divorcing DH was the right decision. But I am lonely, scared, incredibly sad at having found love after being in an emotional (and physical) desert for 15 years and now realizing that I've given that love to the wrong man-<br><br>
I am trying to rebuild my life without either DH or this man, but it's an agonizing process. Please tell me this gets better and that I will stop wondering whether I am ever going to find love again? Please tell me that I will learn to love myself enough that I don't need to worry about whether someone else will love me-
 

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You'll be fine.<br>
You just made a poor choice because you were going through a traumatic moment in life.<br>
Yes, it will get better.<br>
It may also get worse, then better again.<br>
That's life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:<br><br>
You will be able to find love, because love is in you.<br>
Try to work on healing yourself and not worry about your next love.<br>
Try to focus on doing what makes you happy and healthy.<br>
You don't have to worry about time ticking by, you might be, I don't know, just think about what you enjoy being just you.<br><br>
And for future reference, never date a married man if you're wanting a monogamous relationship (I assume that is what you want), even if he's separated.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Oh, gee, honey ... tough times.<br><br>
I am reading a book you might find helpful; others here recommended it: Spiritual Divorce.<br><br>
I think, indirectly, it is alot about learning to love and accept yourself and your choices, your past and your present in order to find peace in the moment and faith in the future.<br><br>
Quite a good book for the most part.<br><br>
Might help.<br><br>
Hugs to you.<br><br>
M
 

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Read "In the Meantime."<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FMeantime-Finding-Yourself-Love-Want%2Fdp%2F068487072X%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_1%2F105-3053331-4158068%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1188959307%26sr%3D8-1" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Meantime-Findi...8959307&sr=8-1</a>
 

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I just wanted to send you a hug and support. Sounds like a really hard time right now. We have all made those kinds of choices in our lives... and we all come out stronger for them ultimately, I believe. But the inbetween... it really stinks!<br>
I know for me, and I've read similar feelings from others here, it took some time for me to realize how much I LOVED not being married anymore. How grateful I was to be on my own. But it happened. It just creeped up on me as I plowed through day to day... And I'm willing to bet it will for you too since it sounds as though your marriage was unfulfilling and probably damaging to your self esteem. Hang in there.<br>
That doesn't mean I don't get lonely or wonder if/when I will find real love with someone else... someone wonderful. I think (I hope!) that's normal to think about.<br>
Anyway... do you have good family/friend support? That made a huge difference for me as I struggled to feel whole on my own.<br>
Hugs to you.
 

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Oh, I feel so bad for you! Your post could just as easily have been written by me. (in fact, I'm sure there's an almost identical one in the archives here--probably several). I didn't get my heart broken by a married man after stbx and I separated; but my situation was just as messy and messed up.<br><br>
It's been a year and I'm not feeling better; but EVERYONE tells me it will get better. So now I'm passing on the word. It has to get better; you can plow through the day, accomplishing the necessary tasks of life and motherhood without really enjoying anything for only so long. Eventually, you (and I) will start enjoying something, even if it's only for a few minutes one day. Then a joyful moment will come (and go).<br><br>
I am working really hard at trying to create community, make friends, and grow spiritually. Decide on some goals for yourself and work on them. Even in this time of depression, a sense of accomplishment may make your day seem worthwhile.
 
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