You might not be comfortable with this advice, and I'll be honest that I've never been in your shoes and don't know what I'll end up doing when we're preparing for #2. That said....
One major thing I've learned since dd was born is that there is prenatal care and then there is birth attendance. And there are laws that govern the latter.
There is NOTHING stopping you from continuing to see this OB or a CNM or anyone and allowing them to think you'll show up for your repeat CS when they schedule it-- if they do. If they don't, there is NOTHING forcing you to call the hospital and schedule it yourself. And, if one is scheduled, there is NOTHING compelling you to show up. Then, when you do go into labor on your own (you probably know inductions are generally a bad idea with VBAC, right?) you show up at the hospital. There is a law, EMTALA (I believe it stands for Emergency Medical Treatment And Labor Act or something awfully close to that), that requires hospitals to admit laboring women and people with medical emergencies and abide by their treatment decisions until their condition stabilizes-- which, in the case of a woman in labor, is until the baby is born. It is illegal for them to force you to undergo a c-section. If anyone even brings it up, mention that you are witholding your consent as outlined under EMTALA. Keep mentioning the law.
It is totally feasible for you to continue seeing whoever for your prenatal appointments, for the BP, urine checks, heart tones, weight, whatever you/they think is important. The key is knowing what to refuse and when. For example, say they want to give you an NST in the hospital. You might have to ask yourself if they'll want to keep you in there, and how much you're willing to fight it if it goes against your wishes. (Obviously, if you agree with their decision to stay in the hospital then you don't have to worry about fighting it
Some people don't like this game plan because it does mean you'll get whoever is on in the hospital once you get there. But that's usually the case regardless. There's also the option of showing up at a totally different hospital, but then you REALLY don't know the OBs.....but that might be a good thing.
and sending you lots of good vibes!