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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...and I know it's completely irrational. But my 2-1/2 y.o. is such a terrible sleeper. I'm the only momma I know IRL who has never done CIO, and my son is by far the worst sleeper of the bunch. Sigh. I feel like it's damaged my marriage for us both to be so sleep-deprived for so long.<br><br>
It's probably partly pg hormones, but I'm just feeling so depressed and helpless about it. Anyone BTDT and come out the other side?<br><br>
thanks,<br>
Erin
 

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I am so sorry mama. I just had to respond to your post because I have such empathy for you. I dont really have any BTDT advice...My dd transitioned to a crib at a year and never wanted back with us. My not so crunchy advice...if you are really so sleep deprived and feeling so rotten about the whole thing, maybe you could help transition him to his own bed now? You have a baby coming soon and your 2.5 yr old is surely old enough and smart enough for you to teach him how to sleep on his own.<br><br>
I will say, for us, my dd and dh and I were no longer sleeping well. Once she was sleep deprived and we were too everything went down hill fast. While part of me was sad that she moved 'out' so soon, she was so much happier with quality sleep, as was I.<br><br>
A big hug to you...it sucks to feel torn about what to do. My personal thought is that at 2.5 there is a difference between tears of unhappiness or disapointment and CIO...you would never abandon him to cry through something alone, but sometimes its okay for him to be unhappy...you know?<br><br>
Anyway..I just feel for you. Its tough to be so pregnant, tired, and torn.<br><br>
Best wishes
 

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Hi!! I didnt want to pass your post by. I think that you have to do what works for your family. I coslept part time and while I enjoy having my kids in my bed at times, I sleep terrible, so as older babes, i transitioned them to their own beds. It may be time for you to establish more of a routine with your child and find what works. I have never let my kids cio, but I have had to be very firm at bedtime with what is acceptable and what is not. It is not acceptable for everyone to not get any sleep because a toddler doesnt want to sleep. What I mean by this, and I dont know what issues you are having, is that if your child gets up at night, it doesnt mean everyone has to get up. You need to keep lights out, house dark, in a bed. You may address any pottying or diapering needs, any thirst needs, but thats it.<br><br>
I think I need more input as to what you are having problems wtih, but I wanted to let you knwo that being a gd parent does not mean you need to compromise what you need, especially when you have an older toddler (not a new babe) that is capable of learning and understanding that at bedtime, we sleep.<br><br>
Of course, I have kids that sleep relatively well, but my dd had a rough patch where she would get up at night and want to be up, or wouldnt go back to sleep. I would consistently tell her its bedtime, time for sleep, etc etc.. she was not allowed to run around. She needed to be in her bed, our bed or laying with me on the couch (in the dark)... eventually seh would choose her bed and go to sleep. .but we had a few nights of this before it resolved.. i just remained consistent and firm.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the empathy, mommas. We did actually stop cosleeping this past summer. DS has his own (double-sized) bed. Bedtime itself is no problem. DH goes in with him when he wakes in the night (usually midnight-1ish). Our biggest problem (besides no naps) is that he is ALWAYS up by 5:30, if not earlier. Doesn't matter what time he goes to bed. And he's tired.<br><br>
So, I think we're going to start being less responsive in the mornings. We'll leave an appropriate snack and drink out, but DH and I are not getting up until six. I'm sure he's going to complain, but part of me thinks he may start sleeping a little longer if we're not willing to get up and play (which is what we've been doing).<br><br>
Anyway, thanks for the kind words. Sometimes this parenting gig is tough!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
-e
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LuckyMommaToo</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Our biggest problem (besides no naps) is that he is ALWAYS up by 5:30, if not earlier. Doesn't matter what time he goes to bed. And he's tired.<br><br>
-e</div>
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my dd did this too and i find that if she naps on a regular basis, she sleeps later in the morning (more sleep begets more sleep). By regular i mean 3 or 4 times a week she naps, the other days seh does not. The less sleep she gets the less sleep and the harder nighttimes and mronings are.<br><br>
Also, i did start laying in bed with her when she got up at 530 (or earlier). I would lay in her bed and say, nope its not time to get up, teh sun isnt out (at the time it was still dark until 6am). My rule (and it works MOST of the time when sunrise cooperates) is that we dotn get up until the sun comes up, which is easy for my kids to understand. So that means after the sunrises, around 6am, htey can get up. Yes, its early, but all other techniques have not worked yet. Once both of the kids are old enough to tell time, Im going put up a round clock and a picture of a clock taht says 7am or a marking point as to where the little hand needs to be before you can get up, bc 7am is what i wish they would sleep till. Right now they wake up anywhere between 6 and 7 unless they were up really late....
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LuckyMommaToo</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">...and I know it's completely irrational. But my 2-1/2 y.o. is such a terrible sleeper. I'm the only momma I know IRL who has never done CIO, and my son is by far the worst sleeper of the bunch. Sigh. I feel like it's damaged my marriage for us both to be so sleep-deprived for so long.<br><br>
It's probably partly pg hormones, but I'm just feeling so depressed and helpless about it. Anyone BTDT and come out the other side?<br><br>
thanks,<br>
Erin</div>
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What time does he go to bed? CAn you go to bed at the same time?
 

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Its easier for me to talk about now that our situation has improved, but I also felt soooooo angry some nights that I couldn't even believe it was the same me. My ds was a frequent night waker from 12 weeks -18 mths and it was the hardest thing our family has gone through to date. He would wake, for no apparent reason, anywhere from 6-10 times per night. I nursed him, we rocked, co-slept, sang, patted his bum, everything we could to meet his needs asap and none of it seemed to help. He would scream, I really came to think he was just mad to be awake, too.<br><br>
We had him checked by a ped to ensure it was nothing physical and there was nothing evident.<br><br>
I just want you to know that I completely understand how hard sleep deprivation and interupted sleep can be.<br><br>
My son started sleeping much better shortly after 18 mths. Now at 2.5, he does still wake at night now and then, but its much more manageable. We did survive and you will, too.<br><br>
Take care,<br>
Christine
 
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