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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A few months ago it seemed there were a lot of threads about "should I have another?" and "If so, when?"<br><br>
Now I notice there's not so much, and I'm throwing one out there.<br><br>
I know I want a third- at some point. I'll be 34 in January- which is not OLD per se, but I feel like each year I wait at this point makes it more likely it would be hard to get pregnant/I'll miscarry/I'll have risk of genetic defects/etc.<br><br>
I kinda feel like I just had a baby 2 seconds ago, and I know I'm not ready NOW, but I wonder if I should start getting my mind around being ready soon.<br><br>
2 Questions:<br><br>
1. Older moms, how hard was it having a kid after 35? For those who had a spread of kids, how much harder (in terms of getting PG, physical energy, dealing with medical system, emotionally) was it later than early?<br><br>
2. Do any other moms feel pressured to have all you want to have before your eggs get any older?<br><br><br><br>
The funny thing is I am very laid back about what I do during pregnancy in terms of caffeine, alcohol, shellfish, soft cheese, etc. I do statistics for work and given that I have a relatively healthy lifestyle, am a healthy weight, not an alcoholic, yada yada yada, I feel that the likelihood of these lifestyle things effecting my baby's health is negligible. The statistical change time makes, however, is huge.<br><br>
I feel like I'm the only person under 38 who worries about this. (Though my mom was done with menopause by 44, so that might influence my concerns.)<br><br>
Anyone share my paranoia?
 

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I definitely factor in age when I'm considering family planning. I'm 32, and I want at least one and possibly 2-3 more. So, I start thinking about how much spacing I should have. I've decided to put closer to 3 years before the next baby, just because I don't want to put too tight a squeeze on myy baby (who would become the middle child), and also because I want at least my oldest to be weaned and potty trained (hopefully he will be both by age 5.5!) before having a third. After that, I guess it will depend on how badly I want another one, if I will try earlier or later. I also know that I could adopt if I want more children after I'm biologically done...<br><br>
I also remind myself that however plans I make, there's only so much control I have over my life. After trying for 1.5 years with #1, I was surprised to get pg the first try with #2. But I think both boys were born exactly when they were meant to be born. So, I make my plans, but then try to remember to Let Go and Let God.
 

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Yes and no. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> I'm in my 20's so I still have time but DH and I keep uping how many dc we want. We want 4 right now my two dd's are 3y and 10m, I love the spacing and don't want my dc any closer then 3 years apart. Considering that dd2 is only 2 weeks, that is several more years of babies. DH is older then I am, I think he feels the pressure more then I do at the moment.
 

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I'm 33, have a 3-year-old son, and want one more child, but I don't feel very rushed. Some days I'm not even really sure about the second child. I used to want three kids, but after a very long time of considering it I realized I just don't want the impact that would have on our family. I don't want to feel like I need a bigger house or bigger vehicles than what we have now...ever. So, we will only have one more, and I feel like I have plenty of time for that to happen. We will probably start TTC sometime next year, fwiw.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AMB8301</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6494534"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yes and no. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> I'm in my 20's so I still have time but DH and I keep uping how many dc we want. We want 4 right now my two dd's are 3y and 10m, I love the spacing and don't want my dc any closer then 3 years apart. Considering that dd2 is only 2 weeks, that is several more years of babies. DH is older then I am, I think he feels the pressure more then I do at the moment.</div>
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Mine are 3+ yrs apart and I like it as well. I could see maybe doing 2.5 years, but no closer than that. My experience of conception so far has been: don't use birth control=get pregnant, so I don't want to start "trying" too soon.
 

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My son is six days older than yours and I will be 36 in two weeks. I would like a third but don't feel ready yet either. I swear I can hear my clock ticking out loud! I am not sure what to do about it either.
 

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I have one son, age 3, and my clock is beating down my door. I want two more children, but might have to be happy with 1 given that I weaned my boy at 2 so I could try to get pregnant (we have to do fertility treatments), have had 6 repronex cycles with IUI, and two miscarriages in the last year now and still am not pregnant. I get one, maybe two more tries of repronex and then my doctor will send me off to do IVF. I am 40. Starting at 35 was dumb in that I didn't realize I wanted 3, and didn't figure in breastfeeding my child till he was at least 2. I am desperately hoping for healthy twins, as that would fulfill my wish of 3 children, and I wouldn't have to think of weaning at all. So do I feel rushed? Hell yeah!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>absinthe</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6498028"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My son is six days older than yours and I will be 36 in two weeks. I would like a third but don't feel ready yet either. I swear I can hear my clock ticking out loud! I am not sure what to do about it either.</div>
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Fifteen months is a very tough age. My husband and I called it the "dreaded 8-18 months phase" and I remember 14-18 being the hardest. I imagine this phase is longer with boys, though, since the getting into everything thing seem to be much more constant with boys.<br><br>
I'm starting to think I'll just have to wait till the ones I have (specifically the baby) are more manageable. That will probably happen as she gets past 18 months, or closer to 2. The perfect time for me to conceive would be next April, but thus far I've never managed to get pregnant successfully on purpose. I have no problem at all getting pregnant by accident, though, so I'll just start to get shoddy with birth control after February or so.
 
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