Feeling sad and frustrated with VBAC

I agree. I bet there is a WONDERFUL midwife somewhere nearby who would be thrilled to work with you on $$ to give you the birth of your dreams.



-Angela

Quote:
I was in a similar space at the beginning of this pregnancy...insomnia, nightmares, you name it. I'm going to have my VBA2C at the hospital (I didn't look for a midwife until too late, and the only ones around here are fully booked up for July - I'm not sure they can do VBA2C at home, anyway). I know there's an increased chance of interventions, but they're going to have to do some serious selling - because nothing is entering my body by needle, catheter or anything else unless I okay it. DH is totally behind me on this...no epidural unless I ask for it, no induction - they're there to help me - not to bully me into a bunch of crap I don't want.

I dont know how things work in the US but I do hope you find an understanding midwife to help you.

Hello,
I understand how you feel about hospitals not allowing VBACs. The policies are so unfair and frustrating! Some facilities literally won't allow you to refuse a C/S - it's all a financial thing - hospital would have to pay for 24 hour in house doctors. Kinda scary after looking into the local hospitals here - if they don't have the staffing for VBACs they don't have the staffing for traumas either.

I have decided to drive an hour to a facility that will do VBACs. I have gone through 32 weeks of prenatal care with OBs that don't do VBACs and will soon switch to an out of town OB that will - a bit of a hassle with a 2 yr old, but worth it I feel. My insurance is paying for it - look into your policy on out of the area medical care - what if you went into labor while on vacation? A friend had a home birth but because she was on Medi-Cal had a regular OB/terrible clinic setting actually (totally opposed to HM or midwives) for prenatal care - but delivered with a midwife at home.

It feels scary and frustrating, I was up many night worrying about this same thing. Now that my decision has been made and I have things lined up I am feeling and sleeping so much better. Keep your options open and try to remember the real goal is to have a healthy baby - C/S or vaginally.

Best of luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!

I was in a similar boat with my 2nd VBAC - I had a MW who I LOVED but had to deliver at a hospital - which I was REALLY worried about. But - the hosp. was very familiar with how my mw did things and I swear it could not have been any better. Granted, I did have a 45 minute drive, passing about 10 hospitals that weren't as friendly along the way. But nothing was done without my consent - I wasnt even ASKED if I wanted anything because it was clear that I didn't.

What I mean is....I had no IV, no external monitoring - just once in awhile, no push for drugs/meds (I wasn't even asked), I pushed when and how I wanted to push - baby was birthed into my arms, cord was cut long after it stopped pulsing my dd stayed in my arms all wet and gooey for a lllooonnngg time before my mw weighed her (like 1+ hours), we nursed right after birth - no gunky eye stuff, no heel pokes, no vax. - less than 12 hours later we walked (no wheelchair) out together - OK, so it wasn't in my bed - but it was in MY nightgown (now my fave one!) -

Honestly - I truly could not have asked for a better birthing experience - looking back, being in a hospital made no difference whatsoever -

I had a very similar situation two years ago -- I had to beg BEG to get into a midwife who had to about swear away my baby to get her consulting phys to cover her. (No one delivers homebirth VBAC's around here, no one, so the hospital was my only option, aside from an unassisted at home.) I had to beg my insurance company to pay -- which they ended up not doing even tho I had it in writing they would. I was in a car accident, had lost my job and was fighting for unemployment and had just moved to a new house. At 18 weeks, we thought we might be having twins. I stressed over having a Xmas Eve due date and lost sleep, got ulcers, etc over how the hospital would make me feel "forced" to do things I didn't want to do. However, one day, I made my peace w/ the world and decided to just go with the flow. I decided I would pay for the midwife, out of pocket eventho it meant putting it on our home equity loan that I am still paying off, rather than risking a doctor birth who would certainly want to screw everything up.

I wanted to avoid intervention and wanted to avoid the hospital until the last possible minute. My midwife advised me to stay at home until my contractions were 3min apart and NOT to tell the hospital how long labor had been going when we finally did go. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) my labor was long and my contractions were so irregular.... we didn't get those 3 min contractions consistently until I was about in transition (30 hrs later). By the time we got to the hosp, I was a 10 and there was no doubt I was delivering vaginally. They hooked up a monitor for awhile, but by that time it didn't matter b/c I didn't feel like standing up or moving around anyway. My baby was born about 2:15 after we got to the hospital. It was a great experience that I felt I controlled and fought hard for what I got. I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Long story short -- in this day and age, if you want to VBAC you have to be determined you want a VBAC and do everything you possibly can to control your situation. Eduate yourself and explore all your options. Yes, a healthy mom and baby is important, but part of a healthy mom is a birth experience that is fulfilling.

Good Luck to you!