[bradley method mom]

I did my first catch today as primary midwife and it was great!!!! fast 3 hour birth in the water, cord around the neck 2x. it was beautiful. but when I got home my husband was upset that I was not home in time for him to go to work (he wants me to review being a midwife now)

and when I told a friend, who is about to sit for the board exam this Aug, that I did my first catch, she sounded happy but .....not really. almost like she didn't believe me! it was such a weird feeling.

I am feeling sad...maybe I am not suppose to go this path.....

 

[onlyboys]

Wow! Congrats! Okay, so I can I live vicariously through you for a moment? Will you tell me about it? My MW dreams are on hold (willingly) until way after our fourth child is born. I am aching for midwifery!

I am sorry those people in your life are not being supportive right now. Your husband *has* to be if this is to work out, but I think a state of the union conversation is in order, not just you putting off MW school, you know?

What a hard place to be in. To be so freaking excited about your first catch, then to come home to disharmony must have really made you shift gears quickly. Hugs to you...

 

[bradley method mom]

onlyboys -
it was soooo cool, I went into this total state of peace while helping this couple birth their baby. I have never felt so good about being at a birth as I did just then. I knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I wasn't even second quessing my actions....total peace of mind. it was wild.

Water birth is the way to go..... weightless and warm and JETS on the back!!!! this woman was such an amazing labor land queen!!!!!!!!! I wish I had it on video!!!!!

 

[onlyboys]

It sounds delicious! Congrats again to you!

It's one of the things I worry most about--feeling peaceful while I'm helping, but I have a long time to worry about that...

 

[DallasCPM]

I'm so sorry that your husband and friend weren't on board with the excitment this morning. ((HUGS)) But, wow oh wow! How exciting for you!!! Congrats on your first primary! My first primary is due next month and I'm nervous and excited at the same time.

 

[Defenestrator]

Congratulations on making that first catch! I remember when I caught my first baby as a primary -- I couldn't stop thinking about it for days! Every baby since has been just as exhilarating as well.

I have never been in midwifery school -- I am finishing up an apprenticeship and have done self-study, but the one thing I have to say about working as a midwife vs. working as a student/apprentice is that you have a greater degree of control over your own schedule and your own workload. I know midwives who provide care for 80 moms and babies a year and I know midwives who provide care for 8. Once you finish your schooling you will have a lot of choices about how you want to work and you can settle on a model that is right for you and your family. You may even consider partnering up with another midwife and scheduling your most troublesome coverage times as off-call times for yourself (I know I would be happy to work weekdays for example, for a partner who would work weekends).

You and I have kids who are almost identical ages (mine were born 3/00 and 5/04) and so we are probably facing a lot of the same issues re: childcare. PM me if you want to chat in greater depth.

As for right now, I think that what your dh is really saying is that he wants to be able to rely on being able to get to work on time. He sees midwifery as a threat to that and maybe to your family stability as a whole. It is pretty easy to see how he could feel this way-- after all, he doesn't get to experience all of the exhilarating benefits of your work. What would probably help is trying to find more outside support-- family, friends, professional childcare, etc. I have left my youngest with a local SAHM for the last year whenever I had daytime office hours that he couldn't come to (he came to work with me most of the time), hospital visits, and births. I have a list of about 4 other women who dh can call in an emergency, though, and sometimes we have gone all of the way through the list in the morning when I am out to a birth. Sometimes other birth workers can help too. I just babysat for a fellow midwife's daughter today so that she could go to an appointment.

Good luck, and try not to get discouraged. You can always tell us about your exciting births!

Take care,

Stacia

 

[Rach]

The fact that you sounded so happy about your first catch tells me that this IS what you are supposed to do!
Your path is going in the right direction, you just need to hop over the hurdles. Nevermind a friend that doesn't share your enthusiasm! Nevermind a husband that does not agree. You will work this all out in due time.
Good luck to you and congrats!

 

[pamamidwife]

congratulations on your first catch!

midwifery is hard on families. are there relatives or friends that can help out with childcare so your dh feels like his needs are getting met? my dh was the same way in the beginning - being the main breadwinner, I realized it WAS important for him to be at work on time, etc., so I would arrange childcare (often while I was at a birth) for my daughter.

{{hugs}}

 

[AngelBee]

: Awesome!

 

[bradley method mom]

thank you all.
I did my PP visit today and had my kids with me. the couple was soooo cool with me brining them. they made me feel so good. and my preceptor had car problems, so I really needed to be there and help this couple out on their first 24 hours post birth time. I walked away feeling like.....how can I give this up?

you all made me feel so much better. THANK YOU SO MUCH..... really !!!! you have not idea how much it means to hear that other women are in or have been in the same boat