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<p>i'm sort of ashamed to tell anyone because i feel like no one will really understand and i dont wanna sound petty.</p>
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<p>my son is the love of my life, obviously i got pregnant when i was 19 and i was living with my boyfriend and i was so excited,  when i told my family everyone was upset and angry etc it wasnt a pretty announcement, now they've warmed up to him that he's 4 but still dont treat us too well... anyway</p>
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<p>fast foward to a couple of weeks when my sister announced she was pregnant (shes been married for a few years) and everyone cried with joy and hugged and it was a big thing my mom was glowing everyone was celebrating, and while i'm really happy for her, it made me feel really crappy and i cried that night because i didnt get to experience that and son deserved that.  i just wanted to get it off my chest..  it's not fair :/</p>
 

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<p>nak but i had to say sorry mama that is unfair and hard.  you know how much your son is loved by you and thats all that will matter to him.  but i totally get you :(</p>
 

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<p>That utterly sucks.</p>
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<p>Sending you retrospective HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy and a loud and disruptive round of applause for the job you're doing as a mom.</p>
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<p>It's horrible the right people couldn't give you these when you DESERVED THEM (and you did, do, deserve them). xxx</p>
 

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<p>Hugs! Children are such a blessing. It is unfortunate that people still feel the need to react negatively if the pregnancy has not occured in what is considered an acceptable situation.</p>
 

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<img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"> I understand. <img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif">
 

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<p>I don't think that's petty at all. Even though it's not intentional, people are being hurtful. Our children are a <strong><span style="font-size:16px;">BIG</span></strong> deal, and it doesn't matter if they arrive in an "appropriate" way or not.</p>
 

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<p>Aw, hugs mama. You're right, it really isn't fair. Every child is special, and you deserved a big congratulations and tears of joy too.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"> Thtat's not petty at all. I agree with what a PP said already: your son knows how much you love him and that's what really matters. I'm sorry your family couldn't gve you the love and appreciation you deserve.</span></p>
 

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<p>My sister was in the exact same position. Preg at 18 a senior in HS. When her dd was about 3yrs old, dh and I got preg w/ dd1. We announced it at the family Christmas gathering.... the look on my sisters face was SOOOOO HURTFUL! It was a mix of sad, mad, jealous...  Although I sympathized with her and now you OP, I was entitled to a special moment at our announcement, and my own sisters reaction ruined it! </p>
 

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<p>yeah i totally get it thats why i had on my poker face and pouted on here i didnt wanna ruin her moment.  i'm sorry that you couldnt fully enjoy yours because of that she should of hid it better :( </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>GoBecGo</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1283052/feeling-sad#post_16087583"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>That utterly sucks.</p>
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<p><strong>Sending you retrospective HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy and a loud and disruptive round of applause for the job you're doing as a mom.</strong></p>
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<p>It's horrible the right people couldn't give you these when you DESERVED THEM (and you did, do, deserve them). xxx</p>
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<p><br>
ah <span><img alt="joy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
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<p>It's totally acceptable for there to be some negative emotions given the entire situation. Your baby deserved a happy reaction too. You are allowed to be happy for your sister and hurt by the vast difference in responses so long as you don't let the negative override the positive.</p>
 

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<p>Been there. Multiple times. My dd was the first grandchild, yet my parents told NO ONE. Hardly even acknowledged that I was pregnant.  Should have heard them bragging away to anyone who'd listen when their sons got their wives knocked up though <span><img alt="irked.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/irked.gif"> Since then, the circumstances under which I got pregnant was "better" but still no happy reactions from my parents. Wonder if that'll change now that we're married, or  if it's actually about the boys sowing their  wild oats vs their wh*re daughter getting knocked up.</span> <span><img alt="eyesroll.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>Another retrospective congrats and big hug</span> <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>I know how you feel.   My marriage was not celebrated by my family because they didn't like my boyfriend (now husband).  My sister's wedding was a huge deal.  </p>
 

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<p>I had my oldest at 19 too. I was married and received a "meh" response from most people.</p>
<p>I totally understand. <span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>same here :( i was 18 though when I got pregnant, and although i was married, none of my toxic family was invited to my wedding(nor did they even know about it) they wanted me to divorce him, but then I got pregnant, they got very upset(because they realized that it was going to be even harder for them to convince me to divorce him<img alt="eyesroll.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif">)</p>
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<p>my pregnancy was not very celebrated either :( but I understand how you must feel! Whenever I congratulate someone on their pregnancy, it is hard for me to feel like I am being sincere(even though I am).</p>
 

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<p>Retroactive congratulations! <img alt="joy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif"></p>
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<p>I, too, got pregnant young (16, 19, 21 & 25). I found the pregnancies that were celebrated more were the ones conceived during marriage, especially the planned pregnancy (when I was 19). I think oftentimes people don't know how to react when a pregnancy isn't planned. They may be afraid of reacting too positively if they fear you're not too happy about the pregnancy, or if they believe you may have some doubts. Some may be cautious with their response because they don't want to influence your decision regarding what to do about the pregnancy or your current relationship.</p>
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<p>Most often, however, people react negatively when you don't do what they pictured you doing. It's like when you watch a movie or read a book, and the main character does something that's opposite what you were hoping was going to happen or what you imagined was going to happen. You get disappointed, right? Sometimes you get angry at the movie/book and decide you don't like it. Hopefully, however, you continue on watching/reading, because what follows is so much better because of the unexpected turn of events. </p>
 

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<p>Our third pregnancy, in an established happy marriage was met with an "oh well"  Since then I've been determined to keep any negative opinions I might have about a situation to myself and instead smile and congratulate the parents to be.</p>
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<p>It took a long while for me to get over that, and it still hurts to think about.</p>
 
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