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This is my third baby and in my family they only do a shower for the first baby. This was OK with me last time b/c the girls were 2 years apart and I had lots of stuff and just accepted it. This time around it's really bothering me (it's been 4 1/2 years since my last babe was born). It's NOT about the gifts at all. I just feel like this baby (and my pregnancy) is forgotten. Nobody talks about the baby, nobody is excited. It's like "Oh, Paige is having another baby" I feel like this child doesn't matter to anyone but us.
I talked to dh about doing a welcome baby party after s/he is born, but he thinks that's tacky and people will think we're just asking for gifts. I can kind of see his point.
What I really want is just some time with some girlfriends to have some yummy food and do that "baby" talk you do at showers, kwim? Am I being selfish or hormonal? Should I just throw a girls' night b/c I need one?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by HomeBirthMommy
Should I just throw a girls' night b/c I need one?
YES!! And don't invite anyone who is bumming you out.

Or go with just one or two good friends and get pedicures, something fun like that, and gossip about babies and you you YOU!

 

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I threw my own baby shower!
: And anyone who thinks that is a little tacky can take a hike!
You need to do this for yourself, even if it's just a girls night out. And personally, I think a welcome baby party is a wonderful idea. And I think your DH is totally wrong about what people will think, they will be so caught up in the baby. I think it's a wonderful idea, but you do need to get out and do something nice for yourself (with other mama's, or at least other women) before then.
Kisses and
honey, feel better!
 

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This is my fourth baby and I can really relate. I have a great group of women that I regularly get together with for days at the park or outings with our kids (AP group, extended nursing mamas). I decided to have my own party and schedule a night out for sushi, without the kids
. It won't be a shower (actually said "no gifts, just bring yourself") but I want to have some sort of celebration to honor this new baby's arrival.
 

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I know what you mean. First everyone is treating me like that also. Oh this baby numbe 5 you have everything. Even thought this one is a girl and the fact that I got rid of everything after the last baby because I wasn't planning on anymore.
Go have a girls night out and have fun.
 

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I think it is very sad that people feel like, oh she's just having ANOTHER baby, once you get to that 3rd child for some reason. My mom seems to think that anyone having 3+ children is trying to repopulate the earth, & yes saddly those are the exact words she says to them.
: I think she forgets that she is 1 of 3 children.
I'd love to see her just try to say it to me if we have a 3rd child


Anyway yes I defanitly think you should throw yourself a girls night out kind of thing. And I agree that there is noting wrong with having a 'come meet our new baby' party. Although my guess is that once the baby arrives, peoples attitudes will change & they will be more excited. Why they can't be excited now, I'll just never understand.
 

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I disagree with your DH about the gift-grabbiness of a meet-the-baby party. That would not be the impression I got at all if I were inveited to that sort of party. I would just be excited to, well, meet the baby!

You could do a girls night out TOO! The more the merrier! Hooray for your 3rd baby, mama!
 

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Throw a meet the baby party! That's what we're going to do. You can always write on the invitation something like "no gifts please" so that your guests don't feel obligated to bring something.

I understand the "Oh... she's having another baby" syndrome. I'm only on my 2nd, and the majority of our family isn't excited at all. I keep getting comments like "let someone else have a turn", "you know you should have waited until after so-and-so got pregnant" and "don't you realize that your hurting so-and-so's feelings by being pregnant".
:

Two weeks ago, both of my SIL's backed out of throwing the baby shower they'd been planning for months. Their reason: "We can't emotionally handle being around you while your pregnant, let alone, plan a shower and see all the little baby things". I can respect that, I was jealous once or twice myself, but I'd never let someone down like that. Sorry for ranting, I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
 

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Not many people are excited about our baby either (4 child so no sympathy for aches and pains either!) and showers are not usual here so I'm having some of my favourite positive-homebirth-vibe friends round to do a belly cast with me.

I feel that by the 38-39th week I'm really going to need some moral and spiritual support as the negativity from all the nay sayers and constant calls from MIL start to wear me down.

I am really looking forward to filling my tiny house with strong women to carry me forward.

As for meet the baby, my SIL rang today to invite us to her dd's christening mid October which will be our reluctant outing of the new little person. I hope I'll be able to keep him or her tucked up snug in the sling and avoid having a 'pass the baby' thing.
 

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I honestly can't understand people who think that just because you've had a few children before that it would make the new one any less important! I mean HELLO!?!?! It's still a person, with feelings, and thoughts, just like all the others!! Makes no sence to me
I think, have your own party
Invite people who will cheer you up and make you happy
!!! Over in this country we don't really have baby showers... I brought everything I needed for baby myself when I was still working and actually had money! BUT I think the "Welcome baby party" is a fantastic idea!!! No-one will think your doing it just for presants, so I think in conclusion, have your girly night "baby shower" type thing. AND after babys born, have a "Welcome baby" party, show everyone that just cos this isn't your first baby, it's no less important than the first one
 

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Crashing your thread from August DDC!!! I just wanted to chime in and say - YES - have your own thing/party/whatever. Maybe invite some of your good friends, have a potluck, and henna tattoo your belly (My friends just did mine and it is SOOOOO cool) or like someone else mentioned - do a belly cast. You could even ask them to bring something like a poem or an affirmation for you that you can put on somewhere that you'll be birthing. Every baby deserves to be celebrated. I was feeling so down a few weeks ago, because this baby seemed to be just about here, and no one seemed to care. My friends threw me (sort of a last minute) Blessingway, and it felt so good. I hadn't even thought of planning something special myself - I think you should do it! You deserve it! Have fun.
 

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Definately have a girls night!! Last night the moms in my playgroup had our monthly Moms Out night and I got there and discovered it was a mini shower. It was a very big surprise to me as I was not expecting anything with #3 especially since I have one of each and don't need much other than another carseat. This is the first of my "babies" that they have actually experienced though since my youngest was 2.5 when we joined the group.

Go out, Have fun!!

Deb
 

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You totally need to do something for this wee one! I have always been a strong believer in having a shower or a Welcome Baby party for every one of my friends' babies.

Since it might feel a little awkward to host your own shower before the baby is here- go ahead and start planning the party for after it's arrival. Tell everyone to bring food for the freezer in lieu of presents and they'll definitely respond to that! People always want to help- they just don't want to get in the way, so this would be a great way for people to feel like they are helping out the family as a whole. Take lots of pictures so that the little bean will know what you did for his/her arrival!

Have fun planning!!
 

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My husband and I threw our own "coed" baby shower. We usually have our friends and family over during the summer so we decided to have the best of both worlds. Yeah, may seem tacky to most, but we had a great time and lots of people turned up.

This is my second child, I'm expecting a boy. My daughter was born 8 years ago...so I needed everything!

A welcome baby party is also a great idea. Whether gifts are desired or not...most people love to help and are happy to bring something for the new family member.
 

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What about holding a Blessing Way???

With my last baby we had a Blessing Way. It was just my sister and 2 friends but it was still soooo special. We had a little sacred ceremony, honouring all the women who give birth, our mothers and grandmothers, our children. They sang a beautiful song while giving me a cornmeal foot massage and rose water foot bath....hand, arm and neck rub.....
the song was:
I am opening up in sweet surrender to the beautiful birthrite of this babe.
I am opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the lord.(universe, creator)
I am opening, I am opening.

It was so special. I felt so loved and supported, so empowered. Each women gave me a bead that made them think of me and our baby. A few other friends sent beads along as well. I strung them on a piece of string and wore them until my daughter was born, it reminded me of all of the women who were sending me love and encouragment and had faith in the birthing process.

This time around I live in a different town and don't know many people. I have met a few wise women and I was thinking about asking them if they would do a blessing way with me. It seems like such a sacred rite of passage, honouring both mother and the new life growing within her.
 

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I would do the welcome baby party after the baby is born! That's what we're doing. A friend is throwing it for me though. She wanted to give me a shower but I would rather have a party to welcome the baby!

I also like the idea of a girls night out! Invite only your best friends and do something relaxing like a pedicure and a movie or something! Sounds like fun to me. Too bad we don't all live closer
 
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