Last night my step son had some really unacceptable behavior which resulted in loss of privlidges today and tomorrow. He was screaming and yelling and kicking walls at 1am because he wanted to watch tv and we wouldn't let him. It was getting ridiculous and ignoring was no longer being productive at all. His screaming was walking up our dogs and I knew it was only a matter of time until he woke up our neighbors (town house type situation).
So I walked into his room, raised my voice enough so he would listen to what I was saying, told him he had 3 seconds to stop or he was losing tv for all of today as well as video games. He screamed and told me to shut up, I said ok, now you are working on two days. He kicked at me and I said OK 3, do you want 3 days gone? He stopped (this is his normal reaction, he realizes i am serious and does stop, we haven't gotten past 3 in a good 2 years).
Anyway, he went right to sleep and woke up this AM in an awesome mood. I asked him if he remembered what had happened last night and he told me point by point what had happened and how long he lost his tv and games etc. We had a conversation about how it was unacceptable to behave like that, he can be mad and frustrated but he can not interupt others sleep and disrespect our neighbors by throwing fits like that in the middle of the night. If he is upset he can sit on his bed and write out his feelings, but he can't scream like that. (basically, if we weren't living next door to someone I would have ignored it longer, but I don't want my neighbors calling security on us either). So he appologized and things were fine.
I reminded him of the no games rule and told him today was going to be chore day (kid has to be kept busy, it is spring break and he is the only one home, my two boys are at their dads). So he went to his room to fold his clothes and instantly turned on the tv. So I called him downstairs, reminded him of what I had JUST told him and that now we would add one day for not listening to the rules (typical punishment). So he took that well but was clearly upset.
About 30 minutes later he came down stairs and asked me if I would consider a new option. I asked him what, and he said, "how about if I make really good choices and do all my work with no fighting that you think about me earning some time back". I told him that was a good option. I will CONSIDER it, but will not promise that he will earn back time.
He is now in the kitchen scrubbing base boards as a means to earn back privlidges. I did forget how much I enjoy his ADHD and OCD tendencies when he gets his mind set on cleaning something. House is looking nice and he is actually enjoying it. He is singing while he cleans.
So I am just curious if others let their kids earn back privlidges and if not why? And if so, how long should I let him keep doing all the stuff I can't do (I am on partial bedrest at 28 weeks pg) before I let him earn back some time. He has lost 4 days total and I am thinking of letting him earn back 2 days with the good behavior. What do you think?
And I am only feeling a little guilty because the boy is working away and seems to be REALLY enjoying it. I almost feel bad that I am not doing it myself, but he needs to be kept busy and it needs to be done and I can't physically do it right now. Oh and he is 9 and physically so active, but no one is home to play with.
So I walked into his room, raised my voice enough so he would listen to what I was saying, told him he had 3 seconds to stop or he was losing tv for all of today as well as video games. He screamed and told me to shut up, I said ok, now you are working on two days. He kicked at me and I said OK 3, do you want 3 days gone? He stopped (this is his normal reaction, he realizes i am serious and does stop, we haven't gotten past 3 in a good 2 years).
Anyway, he went right to sleep and woke up this AM in an awesome mood. I asked him if he remembered what had happened last night and he told me point by point what had happened and how long he lost his tv and games etc. We had a conversation about how it was unacceptable to behave like that, he can be mad and frustrated but he can not interupt others sleep and disrespect our neighbors by throwing fits like that in the middle of the night. If he is upset he can sit on his bed and write out his feelings, but he can't scream like that. (basically, if we weren't living next door to someone I would have ignored it longer, but I don't want my neighbors calling security on us either). So he appologized and things were fine.
I reminded him of the no games rule and told him today was going to be chore day (kid has to be kept busy, it is spring break and he is the only one home, my two boys are at their dads). So he went to his room to fold his clothes and instantly turned on the tv. So I called him downstairs, reminded him of what I had JUST told him and that now we would add one day for not listening to the rules (typical punishment). So he took that well but was clearly upset.
About 30 minutes later he came down stairs and asked me if I would consider a new option. I asked him what, and he said, "how about if I make really good choices and do all my work with no fighting that you think about me earning some time back". I told him that was a good option. I will CONSIDER it, but will not promise that he will earn back time.
He is now in the kitchen scrubbing base boards as a means to earn back privlidges. I did forget how much I enjoy his ADHD and OCD tendencies when he gets his mind set on cleaning something. House is looking nice and he is actually enjoying it. He is singing while he cleans.
So I am just curious if others let their kids earn back privlidges and if not why? And if so, how long should I let him keep doing all the stuff I can't do (I am on partial bedrest at 28 weeks pg) before I let him earn back some time. He has lost 4 days total and I am thinking of letting him earn back 2 days with the good behavior. What do you think?
And I am only feeling a little guilty because the boy is working away and seems to be REALLY enjoying it. I almost feel bad that I am not doing it myself, but he needs to be kept busy and it needs to be done and I can't physically do it right now. Oh and he is 9 and physically so active, but no one is home to play with.
