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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DS is only 7 weeks old and is not taking a bottle on a regular basis. I am feeling so tired and spent. I feel like it will never end and that I will never get any sleep ever again. He has been getting up like every 1-2 hours and I am just SO over this! I am just having a hard time with things this past week<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I know it is best for him, but I am really really headed down a bad path I feel. Any advice is appreciated!<br><br>
TIA,
 

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Don't despair! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It <i>will</i> get easier, I promise! The first 2-3 months are the roughest and if you can just get through them, it'll only get better. At this stage, the key is napping when he is napping. Let housework slide for the next few weeks so you can get the rest you need.
 

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i hear ya, sistah. sometimes i wish i was o.k. with letting him cry it out and formula feed. i guess the thing that is getting me through ds#2's (01.17.07) 4th trimester is a very supportive, loving dh and being able to be honest with myself and others about where i'm at emotionally. i was a professional nanny for 12 years and this is my 2nd and i still get like this if it's any consolation. all i can say is that it definitely gets better.<br>
best wishes.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Just hang in there- it gets easier!<br><br>
Is he in bed with you? I got tons of sleep after the first month or so because I could stay in bed with dd and nurse and sleep late.<br><br>
good luck!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone! I think right now, the thing getting me through is when he is nursing and smiles at me or holds my hand. That just melts my heart!<br><br>
We only have a queen size bed, so he is not in bed with us. He is in our room though. I hate getting DH up though, so we leave. The thing is, DS seems to sleep better in his car seat. I know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
As for Daddy, yes he is here. I have told him this lately and he listens but doesn't have anything to say/ways to help out. He has been really good with helping out around the house and all that. I am very lucky for all the things he does. I think he is at a loss as to how he can help. Like I said, he listens and all, but I think in a lot of ways, unless you have BF a kid, you have NO idea how demanding it is! In all my childbirth prep classes and all my reading, I do not think anyone was honest with me about the demands of BF. I guess I was not ready for that.<br><br>
Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I am waiting for the times everyone says will come about "getting better"!
 

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IMO you need to find a way to get him in your bed. You will get SOOO much more sleep that way. Can you side-car a crib?<br><br>
good luck!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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I totally hear you.......after a brilliant pregnancy and relatively easy labour and birth..i had the shock of my life when it came to actually caring for this little one. I wish someone had told me that breastfeeding constantly for the first few weeks and even after that on some day...was totally normal!! I don't have a very placid baby at all...and she does not stay content for long unless she's sleeping or feeding....Just to say though...it HAS gotten easier. (she's 10 weeks now)<br>
We have a small bed as well, and a little sidecar co-sleeper. So we do a combination of her in the bed with us and her sleeping in her little cot next to the bed. It's very liberating for me....don't feel bad about the car seat...my daughter lives in her swing during the day (for naps)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>scsigrl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7347996"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks everyone! I think right now, the thing getting me through is when he is nursing and smiles at me or holds my hand. That just melts my heart!<br><br>
We only have a queen size bed, so he is not in bed with us. He is in our room though. I hate getting DH up though, so we leave. The thing is, DS seems to sleep better in his car seat. I know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
As for Daddy, yes he is here. I have told him this lately and he listens but doesn't have anything to say/ways to help out. He has been really good with helping out around the house and all that. I am very lucky for all the things he does. I think he is at a loss as to how he can help. Like I said, he listens and all, but I think in a lot of ways, unless you have BF a kid, you have NO idea how demanding it is! In all my childbirth prep classes and all my reading, I do not think anyone was honest with me about the demands of BF. I guess I was not ready for that.<br><br>
Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I am waiting for the times everyone says will come about "getting better"!</div>
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I don't think it's fair to blame breastfeeding and the baby for the exhaustion when the choice is being made to put daddy's needs first and you're unwilling to try other options. It's quite likely that your baby will sleep longer next to you and/or that you will fall into a sleeping rhythm together where you never have to fully wake to nurse at night.<br><br>
I just realized how blunt this sounded and I'm sorry for that. I'm speaking from the experience of having tried to "protect" my kids' dad from the realities of parenting. Long story there, but I regret having done so.<br><br>
Having a baby is demanding. Not breastfeeding comes with its own list of extra demands and will not guarantee that the sleep will be any better. Of course your husband doesn't get it. He's not waking up throughout the night. If you want to talk to people who will get it, I suggest that you find a La Leche League meeting because the other moms there will definitely get it. My kids never woke that often that I can remember, but I understand you perfectly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Every hour or two is fairly frequent waking, even at that age. You are right around a growth spurt. But I would personally be considering what might be going on if co-sleeping didn't improve the sleep.
 

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Hang in there. It will get easier! I've never given DD a bottle and the first couple months I was so exhausted from the constant feeding, but now it's just fine. I never did think formula would be easier though.<br><br>
DD sleeps in a co-sleeper when she's not sleeping on me. There is no fussing, no noise when she awakes to feed since she's right there. DH only wakes when I wake him (he used to get up for night changes though). And we stay in bed the whole time. We could not master the side-lying feeding until recently but I just lay her across me to eat and usually fall asleep. If you want to accommodate DH you could try some white noise so you could feed dc in bed and not wake him.<br><br>
You will feel a lot better if you can bf in bed. And regardless it should get easier soon.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
It's hard having a new baby!<br><br>
I'd try to readjust the sleeping arrangements so you don't have to get out of bed to nurse at night. Could Daddy sleep in another room for a little while? Sidecar a crib or twin bed next to the queen? Could you and baby sleep in another room for a while?<br><br>
If baby took a bottle, I don't think things would be any easier for you. The frequent nursing is pretty common at that age- though most (though not all) babies have at least one longer stretch of sleep by 7 weeks. If this has been consistant- nothing longer than a 2 hour stretch of sleep- I'd consider a food allergy(in your diet affecting the baby) or undiagnosed medical problem. Maybe baby can't sleep because he's got a tummy ache.
 

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I have a 10 wk old and I totally relate. I think it's getting better but only because it isn't painful anymore, not because she is feeding any less during the day.<br><br>
I also want to say that the whole nursing in bed and half asleep thing has never worked for me. My DD doesn't care for nursing in that position and I have never been able to do it half asleep either. Maybe that is a learned skill but I hear it so much over and over that I wanted to chime in that some people do try this and it just doesn't work for them. Oh, and that isn't because daddy was against it or anything like that. I just didn't feel that it was easier (still have to do diaper changes) or that I was getting more sleep this way, not to mention the huge puddle of breastmilk that was allover my pajamas and the bed from side nursing.
 

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You're doing great! It IS hard those first few weeks and it DOES get much, much better. I'm so glad I stuck with BFing, I can't even tell you.<br><br>
Your baby's sleeping patterns doesn't have much to do with what he eats. It's largely a myth that FF babies sleep longer, better etc. Are you co-sleeping? I find it very convenient for night nursing. Learning to nurse lying down is invaluable! Yes, BFing can be very demanding but so is fixing bottles, with the washing, mixing, heating, testing etc. Stick it out and you will not regret it! There are many moms who regret not being able to BF but I've never heard a mom say she wished she would have just FF.
 

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My DD is also 7 weeks old and I was starting to think that she would never sleep more than 2 hours at a time. When possible I have DH put her to bed. After I finish nursing her, he changes her diaper, swaddles her and rocks herto sleep. As soon as he takes her I go straight to bed. (This does not always work. He isn't always able to get her down, but when it does even that extra half hour of more restful sleep makes a big difference) This gives me a headstart and I find that I usually sleep deeper while he has her and she is not next to me in the co-sleeper making all of her settling in noises. Last night the heavens opened up and shined upon us. He put her down at about 10:45 pm and she didn't wake until 3:15 am. This is the longest she has slept (of course I woke in a panic, thinking something had gone wrong). I don't bank on it happening tonight, but it did put some light at the end of the tunnel.<br><br>
This longer patch of sleep came at just the perfect time. She was nursing what seemed like non-stop and waking every two hours at night. I really think she was fueling up for a growth spurt (which from what I read hits about 6 weeks). The last two days I've noticed she has started to go a little longer between daytime feeds. She has sort of a pattern of cluster feeding in the AM when she wakes and them again at night before we settle into bed. I've also stopped anything stimulating at night time. No burping and no diaper changes unless she has pooped.<br><br>
She also is not keen on BM in the bottle and the only successful bottlefeed she has had was given by grandma when Dh and I went to a coffee house up the street this weekend for some coupletime.<br><br>
I know it is hard, but you are doing the absolute best thing for your baby ( I really don't mean this to sound trite, I'm sure you know all the benefits of breastfeeding). Just think if you went to formula you'd be stuck cleaning bottles and trying to warm up milk in the middle of the night. Right now your milk is ready to serve, at just the right temperature, and super portable. I really think that your little one will start to sleep more soon and you will be so glad that you hung in there. It will get better.<br><br>
If you want to vent/chat please feel free to contact me.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> sounds just like my first baby experience <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> DH was so supportive and good and helpful...but he could.not.sleep with the baby in our bed. It totally freaked him out - he was so scared he'd lay on the baby. And he couldn't sleep with baby in the room either, he'd lie awake listening to him breathe. So I put him in another room...the baby. Should've sent my dh out for awhile. I have trouble sleeping without him, but I would have gotten a lot more sleep! Cuddle up with babe in your bed at least for naps etc. They sleep so much better next to your heart.<br><br>
Lack of sleep makes you CRAZY. I know, because I lived on very little sleep with babes #1 and #2. They fed every hour or 2 at the most for weeks on end. It was tough. Some mamas deal with it well - I didn't.<br><br>
Give your baby to your dh in the evenings to hold, whenever it does go to sleep, and catch an hour of sleep. I do this to catch up sometimes. You get out to feed baby again, and go right back to bed and have dh diaper/rock etc.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I so know just how you feel...I hope you can find a way to get some more rest.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I understand that co sleeping is an option for some of you, but it is not an option for us. We have an inflateable mattress for one and it never seems to stay firm enough that I would feel comfortable with him and us. Plus like I said, it is only a queen and our room is not big enough for a co-sleeper (we each have only about 8-10 inches on each side of the bed). Nursing lying down does not wirk for me either. I am very large breasted and it just does not give me the ability to hold my breast (which is not comfortable to do plus it in NO way would lend itself to mme resting and falling asleep with DS laying down either).<br><br>
I truly do appreciate all the advice! There are some great ideas here, just not ones that would really work for us. Like I said, I think DS and I sleeping in the family room is the way to go for now.<br><br>
As for DS sleeping patterns, he will from time to time go for anywhere from 3-5 hours. It has not developed into a pattern yet though (I am NOT trying to suggest he have a routine in any way!) Part of it is me too though. I hve been dealing with chronic pain for 3 or 4 years now (it went away when I was PG) and with the pain comes insomnia...so once I am up, it takes me a LONG time to fall back asleep then baby is up again. I know it will get better! I wish someone could tell me when though!<br><br>
BTW... I am in NO WAY thinnking about stoping breastfeeding! While I say I am tired of the demands of it, I would not have it any other way. We have such a wonderful BF'ing relationship! I am VERY greatful for that! I love the time I spend with DS, like I said, I just was not prepared for the demand it places on a person!<br><br>
I also go to a breastfeeding support group here in town twice a week, so I get support there. I have not brought up this subject there though cause I guess it makes me feel like a bad Mom to say it out loud to people I know (all my the Mom's from our Bradley Childbirth classes go to them!)<br><br>
pixiewytch-Thank you so very much! While all the advice is great, you seem to really get where I am coming from! Thank You!
 

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DS was feeding every 90 minutes at night until he was about 6 months old. And I went back to work at 9 weeks. So while this is unusual, it can be survived, if you are creative.<br><br>
I agree with you, sleeping with the baby in another room may be just the thing.<br><br>
I also found that I nap during the day now better than I sleep at night. And I am more patient with DS at night than my husband is able to be. So I do night duty, and early in the morning he gets up and lets me have a little morning sleep. Then when I'm not working, I also get afternoon naps. I suppose we sleep in shifts.<br><br>
If there's a way for you to get blocks of sleep on the weekends, do so for your pain condition. You are especially in need of sleep!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>scsigrl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7338918"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My DS is only 7 weeks old and is not taking a bottle on a regular basis. I am feeling so tired and spent. I feel like it will never end and that I will never get any sleep ever again. He has been getting up like every 1-2 hours and I am just SO over this! I am just having a hard time with things this past week<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I know it is best for him, but I am really really headed down a bad path I feel. Any advice is appreciated!<br><br>
TIA,</div>
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Poor sweetie, it's overwhelming in the beginning. It'll get easier. Sleep when the baby sleeps during the day...I'm assuming you haven't gone back to work yet...and try to pump a bit of milk for the bottle (if you're not doing this already.) When your husband comes home from work, give him the bottle to give to the baby, and go get a nap. Just as the baby had to learn to latch and nurse, so does he have to learn the skill of sucking from a bottle. It's important to everyone's health - yours, the baby, your husband, oh and dare I say to the health of your marriage - that you get the rest your body needs.<br><br>
Incidentally, I think it's very, very considerate of you to let your husband sleep. No need for him to get up if there isn't anything he can do, anyway. At least one of you should be rested.<br><br>
You hang in there, it really will get better. Poor sweetie.
 
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