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Hi there,

My 6-month-old son cannot be put down for even 10 minutes it seems. He has reflux and even on Prevacid he is still having trouble. We co-sleep, bf, use a wrap, anything to help him stay calm, as his crying and screaming clearly aggravates his reflux symptoms. I don't mind holding him but there are times when I just can't. Our older son needs a lot of attention as well, but I feel like I am completely neglecting him. Most days I feel like I take care of his medical and nutritional needs and that's about it - no real playtime together, barely able to get a story read at naptime and bedtime before the baby starts screaming, even though I bring him with us into the same room so he is not alone. I am unable to work because of the baby's needs and our finances are in ruins - collecters calling left and right. DH is taking as much work as he can get but still hasn't been able to make ends meet and also is gone most of the time as a result, leaving me with the kids. I am sure both kids are picking up on the stress level. Our baby will only calm for me - even DH will not keep him for more than a few minutes. My mother told me he was the first baby my father ever offered to "spell" her from because of screaming and she did in home daycare for over 30 years (she kept him twice for about two hours each time.) I have tried "mother's helpers" in the past and was not able to make it work financially for what they charged. I am planning to start the elimination diet to see if it helps his reflux but not sure I can afford the different foods and DH comes from a family of dairy farmers and so this is with a lot of flak and no support from him - milk could never be bad as far as he is concerned. We definitely can't afford daycare and neither of us wants to go that route anyway, even if the baby would take a bottle, which he won't. DH helps very little with housework so the house is always a mess. The laundry barely stays caught up. I am sorry to be so negative. I am not feeling any anger or resentment towards either of our children - that has never been an issue and I work very hard to not direct the stress towards them in any way, although I realize they can pick up on the tension in the household. Our marriage is also not in the best shape, probably as a result of our current situation, and so that doesn't help matters at all. Anyway, mostly just needing to vent. Thanks for listening.
 

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You do actually have it pretty together...to be able to sit, breathe, write it all down, put it out there. I may not have been in exactly your situation, but it hit pretty darn close to home reading your story--and I only have one child!

I know you weren't looking for an "answer," and if I had one, I'd be in much better shape myself. But here's what I've been thinking lately:

I'd like to find a really cool kid, 13, 14, something like that, to come over and just hang out one day a week with my son. He LOVES big kids (what little kid doesn't?) and that's a responsible enough age to let go of the reins...but I'd still be here, working, cleaning, whatever needs to happen.

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: to you, and good luck. Focus on one thing at a time. Breathe. Write more if need be.
 

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Wow, that sounds like a really hard situation. I don't have much good advice. It just sounds like you really need a break and have no way of getting one. Poor you and poor babes. Would your mom be willing to come and help with the housework if she can't help with the kids?
I'm not much help. Everything I can think of I'm sure you've tried. I just wanted you to know that someone was listening and feels your pain. I hope things get better soon.
 
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